

Brown University Essay Examples (And Why They Worked)

The following essay examples were written by several different authors who were admitted to Brown University and are intended to provide examples of successful Brown University application essays. All names have been redacted for anonymity. Please note that CollegeAdvisor.com has shared these essays with admissions officers at Brown University in order to deter potential plagiarism.
For more help with your Brown supplemental essays, check out our 2020-2021 Brown University Essay Guide ! For more guidance on personal essays and the college application process in general, sign up for a monthly plan to work with an admissions coach 1-on-1.
Brown’s Open Curriculum allows students to explore broadly while also diving deeply into their academic pursuits. Tell us about an academic interest (or interests) that excites you, and how you might use the Open Curriculum to pursue it. (150 word limit)
Brown’s open curriculum, along with its great emphasis on interdisciplinary concentrations is unique among universities. As a student interested in courses like NEUR 1740, The Diseased Brain: Mechanisms of Neurological and Psychiatric Disorders and ANTH 0300: Culture and Health from two seemingly unrelated concentrations, I would love to take the opportunity to explore widely as an undergrad at Brown. Doing research under professors like Dr. Mason, exploring anthropological viewpoints in class and looking at the stigma surrounding HIV testing in Taiwanese/Chinese culture would allow me to draw upon my own cultural experience.
The cultural and social nexus also fits issues I encountered at Teen Line; callers talked about their own community’s condemnation about LGBTQ identity. The attention to social issues found at Brown will become my home away from liberal California where I can speak to mental health issues in various cultures.
Why this Brown University essay worked, from an ex-admissions officer
This essay worked because it is very specific. The applicant clearly did their homework in terms of the types of classes that are offered down to the individual courses that resonated with them. From there, the author connected these classes from different fields to demonstrate their particular academic curiosities and their desire to take advantage of the freedom to pursue them in a way that suits the author’s needs.
This essay is also successful because it gives a glimpse into the social issues that concern this student and how they have dedicated some of their time in high school to supporting the LGBTQ community. They demonstrate the desire to not only make connections to their personal experiences from a cultural perspective, but to understand how others experience similar issues within their respective culture.
This author was successful in demonstrating their fit by giving the admissions officers a strong sense of how they will apply what they learn in the classroom as well as how they will contribute to and enhance the Brown University community.
As someone who places great emphasis in words, the idea of analyzing the cognitive aspects behind linguistics, whether philosophically, psychologically, or computationally fits my ideal of using interdisciplinary methods to study human behavior holistically.
I am also concerned with quantitative methods. For example, AP Psychology allowed me to talk about the ethics and methodology. I had read about the Asch conformity tests. But when my teacher set up the experiment with three classmates as subjects and the rest of us as confederates, two subjects did not conform; our ratio of nonconformity was lower than Asch had found. Could it be a trait of the magnet population and experience?
Should I remain pre-med, a strong background in neuroscience will support my study of anatomy and help me become a better physician. Directly linking biology and behavior, Cognitive Neuroscience will contribute to my holistic view of my patients.
This essay is great because it shows how multifaceted the author truly is in terms of their intellectual pursuits. By highlighting their various interests alongside the interdisciplinary nature of the curriculum at Brown University, the author successfully demonstrates their academic fit. The reader understands that this student enjoys questioning and analyzing methods, theories, and concepts for a deeper understanding.
This student has a strong sense of what they want to do but also has a high level of self-awareness and knows that they might change their mind in terms of their career aspirations. Either way, it is evident to the reader that this student has depth and will positively contribute to Brown’s academic community.
To many, mathematics is little more than calculating how much flour Mrs. Smith needs to bake her famous apple pie. I felt this same way until I got to calculus. There, I was examining the fundamentals of change, infinity, and nothingness daily.
During one discussion with my teacher, he expressed his belief that the Fibonacci sequence was a proportion of divine handiwork. I’d never considered any application of mathematics outside of hard sciences. As I sat at my kitchen table that night calculating the instantaneous velocity at time t , I understood that mathematics, despite a well-defined set of laws, contains the philosophical ambiguity I find so stimulating.
Though finding the volume of a sphere may not fit the traditional idea of aesthetics, it serves the same purpose — as a study of structure and order. This intersection between mathematics and philosophy is one I hope to continue to explore.
This essay is effective because, being one of the “many” the author refers to, it drew me in and piqued my curiosity. Whereas another reader who enjoys math would probably feel excited about this connection to philosophy.
Despite the author’s self-proclaimed propensity for the ambiguous, this essay is anything but. Besides clearly pinpointing what they want to study, the essay also provides a glimpse into the kind of student the author will be, one who is engaging and eager to make connections. The author’s excitement about learning is clearly conveyed throughout this essay.
At Brown, you will learn as much from your peers outside the classroom as in academic spaces. How will you contribute to the Brown community? (250 words)
The summer of 2013, I participated in a Brown Leadership Institute course on Identity, Diversity, and Leadership that challenged me to consider my social values and individual identity. After those two weeks, I felt more motivated than ever to make a change in my society. I believe Brown is a place for students who, like me, are passionate about leading initiatives that can make a positive difference in the lives of others.
Brown is the place where all the aspects of my personality would thrive. In addition to stellar academic programs, its emphasis on free inquiry and global engagement really speak to me. It is vital for me to attend college where both academic rigor and openness to the world are widely promoted. In addition, the Swearer Center for Public Service is an amazing resource. Service has always been important to me, and I would like to continue in this path throughout college. Brown students and faculty are motivated, active, and inspiring in the ways that inspire me. At Brown, I would grow both academically and socially in an international and open-minded environment. It would be an honor to spend the next four years in such an incredible college.
This essay works because the author effectively demonstrates fit with the Brown community. This applicant clearly lays out their values, characteristics, and interests and matches them to what Brown University has to offer. Furthermore, the author demonstrates their commitment to service and desire to continue their efforts throughout college, thereby providing a glimpse into the type of student they will be on campus. You get a strong sense of this student’s self-awareness and interest in learning from, and contributing to Brown’s diverse and open-minded community. Furthermore, they find a true value in this type of environment both inside and outside of the classroom.
Tell us about a place or community you call home. How has it shaped your perspective? (150 word limit)
I don’t feel that I necessarily belong to one specific place due to my international background. However, I feel I belong the most to a specific group of people: my immediate and extended family. My parents and my older sister are an inspiration to me, and I look to them for guidance and advice. My grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins are also a very important part of my life. Like us, an American-Lebanese- Colombian family living in Madrid, my extended family all have very international backgrounds and have lived all around the world. I have American-Lebanese-Austrian cousins living in London and American-Lebanese-Belgian cousins living in Hong Kong. Even though we all have lived very different lives, we have something in common – the feeling of being citizens of the world, immersed in a plethora of distinct cultures, yet being part of one close-knit family.
This essay works because the author exemplifies the spirit of community and diversity. Although “family” is a fairly standard response, it’s the explanation of how varied and spread out her family is, with a common American-Lebanese thread and shared experience, that makes them a community. This essay shows that there is not one clear cut definition of community, and it’s certainly not bound by location.
These essay examples were compiled by the advising team at CollegeAdvisor.com . If you want to get help writing your Brown University application essays from CollegeAdvisor.com Admissions Experts , register with CollegeAdvisor.com today.

Personalized and effective college advising for high school students.
- Advisor Application
- Popular Colleges
- Privacy Policy and Cookie Notice
- Student Login
- California Privacy Notice
- Terms and Conditions
- Your Privacy Choices
By using the College Advisor site and/or working with College Advisor, you agree to our updated Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy , including an arbitration clause that covers any disputes relating to our policies and your use of our products and services.
25 Elite Common App Essays That Worked (And Why) for 2022

Applying to competitive colleges? You'll need to have a stand-out Common App essay.
In this article, I'm going to share with you:
- 25 outstanding Common App essay examples
- Links to tons of personal statement examples
- Why these Common App essays worked
If you're looking to write outstanding Common App essay examples, you''ve found the right place.

If you're applying to colleges in 2023, you're going to write some form of a Common App essay.
Writing a great Common App personal essay is key if you want to maximize your chances of getting admitted.
Whether you're a student working on your Common App essay, or a parent wondering what it takes, this article will help you master the Common App Essay.
What are the Common App Essay Prompts for 2023?
There are seven prompts for the Common App essay. Remember that the prompts are simply to help get you started thinking.
You don't have to answer any of the prompts if you don't want (see prompt #7 ).
Here's the seven Common App essay questions for 2022, which are the same as previous years:
- Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
- The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
- Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
- Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
- Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
- Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
- Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
The last prompt is a catch-all prompt, which means you can submit an essay on any topic you want.
Use the Common App prompts as brainstorming questions and to get you thinking.
But ultimately, you should write about any topic you meaningfully care about.
What makes an outstanding Common App personal essay?
I've read thousands of Common App essays from highly motivated students over the past years.
And if I had to choose the top 2 things that makes for incredible Common App essays it's these:
1. Being Genuine
Sounds simple enough. But it's something that is incredibly rare in admissions.
Authenticity is something we all know when we see it, but can be hard to define.
Instead of focus on what you think sounds the best to admissions officers, focus on what you have to say—what interests you.
2. Having Unique Ideas
The best ideas come about while you're writing.
You can't just sit down and say, "I'll think really hard of good essay ideas."
I wish that worked, but it sadly doesn't. And neither do most brainstorming questions.
The ideas you come up with from these surface-level tactics are cheap, because no effort was put in.
Writing is thinking.
By choosing a general topic (e.g. my leadership experience in choir) and writing on it, you'll naturally come to ideas.
As you write, continue asking yourself questions that make you reflect.
It is more of an artistic process than technical one, so you'll have to feel what ideas are most interesting.
25 Common App Essay Examples from Top Schools
With that, here's 25 examples as Common App essay inspiration to get you started.
These examples aren't perfect—nor should you expect yours to be—but they are stand-out essays.
I've handpicked these examples of personal statements from admitted students because they showcase a variety of topics and writing levels.
These students got into top schools and Ivy League colleges in recent years:
Table of Contents
- 1. Seeds of Immigration
- 2. Color Guard
- 3. Big Eater
- 4. Love for Medicine
- 5. Cultural Confusion
- 6. Football Manager
- 9. Mountaineering
- 10. Boarding School
- 11. My Father
- 12. DMV Trials
- 13. Ice Cream Fridays
- 14. Key to Happiness
- 15. Discovering Passion
- 16. Girl Things
- 17. Robotics
- 18. Lab Research
- 19. Carioca Dance
- 20. Chinese Language
- 21. Kiki's Delivery Service
- 22. Museum of Life
- 23. French Horn
- 24. Dear My Younger Self
- 25. Monopoly
Common App Essay Example #1: Seeds of Immigration
This student was admitted to Dartmouth College . In this Common App essay, they discuss their immigrant family background that motivates them.
Although family is a commonly used topic, this student makes sure to have unique ideas and write in a genuine way.
Common App Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)
The three, small, purple seeds sat on the brown soil. Ten feet from me I could see my grandpa with his yunta and donkeys. They were in unison: the two donkeys, the plow, and him. My grandpa commanded; the donkeys obeyed. I began to feel tired. Exhausted. My neck was being pierced by the Mexican sun as I dropped seeds for hours.
I can’t complain; I wanted to do this.
I placed three tiny seeds, imagining the corn stalk growing while the pumpkin vines wrapped around it; both sprouting, trying to bear fruit. I clenched a fistful of dirt and placed it on them. “Más,” my grandpa told me as he quickly flooded the seeds with life-giving dirt.
Covered. Completely trapped.
My grandfather has been doing this ever since he was a little boy. Fifty-five years later and he still works hard on the field. There isn’t much else to do in the small town of Temalac, Guerrero. All he could do was adapt; something my parents never did. They sacrificed everything and left their home, never to return again. With no knowledge of what would come tomorrow, with only their clothes on their backs, they immigrated to the US. They had to work on unknown soil, hoping their dedication will help sprout the new seeds they’d soon plant. They did this for me. They wanted me to worry about my education, not if there would be enough rain to satisfy the thirst of the crops.
I have a thirst.
A thirst to be the vessel for my family into a better future. I must be the crop that feeds them. All these thoughts rushed into my soul as I looked back down the aluminum bucket. I could never be a farmer. I’m grateful my parents were.
They planted a seed. A tiny seed with no instructions but to succeed. I’m the first-born son of two immigrant parents. I had a clean sheet to become anything. I could’ve fallen into my town’s influence, joined a gang, and become another statistic. Regardless of the dirt I come from, I began to sprout. Ever since I was eight years old I was entrusted with responsibilities. We were lucky that school was a three-minute walk; yet it was a stressful journey for a child. I had to wake up my brother, give him breakfast, make sure his clothes were ready, and that he was doing well in school.
Growing up, I always fell behind in school. I had to take summer classes to match my peers’ intellect; while others were reading to learn, I was merely learning to read. My parents weren’t able to teach me English; I grew up solely developing my Spanish accent . My bilingual brain hadn't yet matured and lacked the English tongue. Entrusting a child to be the translator-of-all-matters for his parents robs him of his childhood. I had to help my parents navigate an English system unknown to them. From the day I learned to speak I had to learn to advocate not just for myself, but for my parents.
I’m the type of person my family tree hasn’t seen. Staying in high school, getting good grades, and being a responsible individual are aspects that make people around me think that I have sprouted. But I have not yet bloomed into the being I wish to become. In fact, I have merely tunneled my roots onto the Earth; roots that have been solidified by the determination my parents instilled in me as a child. Nothing I ever accomplished was handed to me. It’s the fact that I have come this far without the advantages other students have that fills me with pride.
Why This Essay Works:
- Shows Unique Background Everyone has a unique family history and story, and often that can make for a strong central theme of a personal statement. In this essay, the student does a great job of sharing aspects of his family's culture by using specific Spanish words like "yunta" and by describing their unique immigration story. Regardless of your background, sharing your culture and what it means to you can be a powerful tool for reflection.
- Reflects Deeply And Meaningfully This student focuses on reflecting on what their culture and immigrant background means to them. By focusing on what something represents, rather than just what it literally is, you can connect to more interesting ideas. This essay uses the metaphor of their family's history as farmers to connect to their own motivation for succeeding in life.
- Shows Gratitude And Maturity This essay has an overall tone of immense gratitude, by recognizing the hard work that this student's family has put in to afford them certain opportunities. By recognizing the efforts of others in your life—especially efforts which benefit you—you can create a powerful sense of gratitude. Showing gratitude is effective because it implies that you'll take full advantage of future opportunities (such as college) and not take them for granted. This student also demonstrates a mature worldview, by recognizing the difficulty in their family's past and how things easily could have turned out differently for this student.
- Compelling Structure And Flow This essay uses three moments of short, one-sentence long paragraphs. These moments create emphasis and are more impactful because they standalone. In general, paragraph breaks are your friend and you should use them liberally because they help keep the reader engaged. Long, dense paragraphs are easy to gloss over and ideas can lose focus within them. By using a variety of shorter and longer paragraphs (as well as shorter and longer sentences) you can create moments of emphasis and a more interesting structure.
What Could Be Improved:
- Off-Putting Conclusion This conclusion is somewhat off-putting because it focuses on "other students" rather than the author themself. By saying it "fills me with pride" for having achieved without the same advantages, it could create the tone of "I'm better than those other students" which is distasteful. In general, avoid putting down others (unless they egregiously deserve it) and even subtle phrasings that imply you're better than others could create a negative tone. Always approach your writing with an attitude of optimism, understanding, and err on the side of positivity.

Get access to our huge essay database and learn the secrets of what really works.
- 200+ Essay Examples
- With Expert Analysis
- Rated From A+ to C
- Easily Searchable
Common App Essay Example #2: Color Guard
This student was admitted to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill . Check out their Common App essay that focuses on an extracurricular:
Sweaty from the hot lights, the feeling of nervousness and excitement return as I take my place on the 30-yard line. For 10 short minutes, everyone is watching me. The first note of the opening song begins, and I’m off. Spinning flags, tossing rifles, and dancing across the football field. Being one of only two people on the colorguard means everyone will see everything. It’s amazing and terrifying. And just like that, the performance is over.
Flashback to almost four years ago, when I walked into the guard room for the first time. I saw flyers for a “dance/flag team” hanging in the bland school hallway, and because I am a dancer, I decided to go. This was not a dance team at all. Spinning flags and being part of the marching band did not sound like how I wanted to spend my free time. After the first day, I considered not going back. But, for some unknown reason, I stayed. And after that, I began to fall in love with color guard. It is such an unknown activity, and maybe that’s part of what captivated me. How could people not know about something so amazing? I learned everything about flags and dancing in that year. And something interesting happened- I noticed my confidence begin to grow. I had never thought I was that good at anything, there was always someone better. However, color guard was something I truly loved, and I was good at it.
The next year, I was thrown into an interesting position. Our current captain quit in the middle of the season, and I was named the new captain of a team of six. At first, this was quite a daunting task. I was only a sophomore, and I was supposed to lead people two years older than me? Someone must’ve really believed in me. Being captain sounded impossible to me at first, but I wouldn’t let that stop me from doing my best. This is where my confidence really shot up. I learned how to be a captain. Of course I was timid at first, but slowly, I began to become a true leader.
The next marching season, it paid off. I choreographed many pieces of our show, and helped teach the other part of my guard, which at the time was only one other person. Having a small guard, we had to be spectacular, especially for band competitions. We ended up winning first place and second place trophies, something that had never been done before at our school, especially for such a small guard. That season is still one of my favorite memories. The grueling hours of learning routines, making changes, and learning how to be a leader finally paid off.
Looking back on it as I exit the field after halftime once again, I am so proud of myself. Not only has color guard helped the band succeed, I’ve also grown. I am now confident in what my skills are. Of course there is always more to be done, but I now I have the confidence to share my ideas, which is something I can’t say I had before color guard. Every Friday night we perform, I think about the growth I’ve made, and I feel on top of the world. That feeling never gets old.
- Improve your essays in minutes, not hours
- Based on hundreds of accepted essays.
- Easy and actionable strategies

Common App Essay Example #3: Big Eater
This Common App essay is a successful Northwestern essay from an admitted student. It has a unique take using the topic of eating habits—an example of how "mundane" topics can make for interesting ideas.
" A plate of spaghetti, six pieces of chicken nuggets, a bowl of fish soup, and a plate of French fries covered in chili sauce. And, don't forget the dessert, make it warm chocolate with milk. Oh... I could also use that 500ml lemonade as you process the order please."
The disbelief printed in the face of the waiter as he scribbled my order confirmed to me that he definitely heard me right. I get that look a lot and I kind of got used to it. In fact most of my friends have teased that my extremely huge appetite is a genetic disorder. Well if you ask me, I think they just envy me.
I come from a family that most people would refer to as humble although I think we eat as "Royalty". Ma spends her day either preparing for the next meal or cleaning up after the previous one. Meals are the only time, if you were lucky enough, you could slip in a request to Papa and at least get a promise. Further, when anyone got sick, they would first be served with twice their average consumption as the first medication ; if symptoms persisted then you could see a physician. The "chiemo", Ma's name for our meals , was guided by one rule, "Your plate had to be cleared regardless of how much food you were served." Probably that and Ma's belief that food consumption was directly proportional to physical and intellectual growth, are responsible for my eating tendencies.
As I grew older and started going to school, I picked up a habit that anytime something made me uncomfortable, whether it was a sum or Sam the bully , I would seclude myself and devour whatever Ma had packed in my lunch box. Surprisingly once I was satisfied, my mind was composed and I could think straight or face my fears. I rode under this without noticing any oddity till I got to high school.
School was thousands of miles from home. All my conscious childhood memories were made inside our camp bubble and I hadn't as much as stepped out the camp let alone travelled that far. Papa and Ma hadn't gone to high school and had no advice whatsoever to help me cope. I remember Ma looking into my teary eyes promising to bring me as much food as she could the next time she was allowed into the school.
The subsequent weeks were rough as I not only kept unsuccessfully asking for extra portions but also had to bear the perplexed stares from fellow students. When I eventually adapted to the rations , I had a change of perspective. I got a deeper understanding of addictions as mind illusions that we are totally dependent on some amounts of different substances which couldn't be further than the truth. That prompted me to join my school's guidance and counselling team where I shared my story to counsel fellow students who were reported to be drug addicts.
Since then through my appetite for different taste of food I have learnt to identify and appreciate different cultures in my country. For instance when served beef I could identify the economic activity, geographic location, and even guess the mood of the cook by looking at the sizes, the amount of soup in the stew, and how precisely the spices have been added respectively. This has led me to appreciate our different cultures in defining who we are and celebrating our diversity.
However, control over my appetite doesn't mean it got any smaller. When I miss home, I eat. When I code, I eat. When I am worried, I eat. When people get worried that I eat too much, I eat. The only difference is I have a choice, but mostly I still chose to eat.
- Central Theme This essay uses their relationship with food to explore how their perspective has changed through moving high schools far away. Having a central theme is often a good strategy because it allows you to explore ideas while making them feel connected and cohesive. This essay shows how even a "simple" topic like food can show a lot about your character because you can extrapolate what it represents, rather than just what it literally is. With every topic, you can analyze on two levels: what it literally is, and what it represents.
- Creates a "Voice" and Personality Admissions officers want to get a sense of who you are, and one way to convey that is by using natural-sounding language and being somewhat informal. In this essay, the student writes as they'd speak, which creates a "voice" that you as the reader can easily hear. Phrases like "I kind of got used to it" may be informal, but work to show a sense of character. Referring to their parents as "Ma" and "Papa" also bring the reader into their world. If you come from a non-English speaking country or household, it can also be beneficial to use words from your language, such as "chiemo" in this essay. Using foreign language words helps share your unique culture with admissions.
- Exemplifies Their Ideas Rather than "telling" the reader what they have to say, this student does a great job of "showing" them through specific imagery and anecdotes. Using short but descriptive phrases like "whether it was a sum or Sam the bully" are able to capture bigger ideas in a more memorable way. Showing your points through anecdotes and examples is always more effective than simply telling them, because showing allows the reader to come to their own conclusion, rather than having to believe what you're saying.
- Clarity of Ideas This student's first language is not English, which does make it challenging to express ideas with the best clarity. Although this student does an overall great job in writing despite this hindrance, there are moments where their ideas are not easily understood. In particular, when discussing substance addiction, it isn't clear: Was the student's relationship with food a disorder, or was that a metaphor? When drafting your essay, focus first on expressing your points as clearly and plainly as possible (it's harder than you may think). Simplicity is often better, but if you'd like, afterwards you can add creative details and stylistic changes.

Common App Essay Example #4: Love for Medicine
Here's another Common App essay which is an accepted Dartmouth essay . This student talks about their range of experiences as an emergency medical responder:
“How do you keep going after days like this?” a tear-stricken woman asked me after watching me put all my effort into attempting to resuscitate her husband after he had committed suicide. I‘ve grappled with my answer to her question for many years, but I may finally have one.
I wish I could truthfully say that I have grown accustomed to the catastrophic calls. I wish I could say the weight of the words “I’m sorry for your loss” lessens after saying them countless times to heartbroken families. But that is not the reality.
“Days like this” come often in emergency medicine; people call 911 on the worst day of their lives, when their baby stops breathing or their loved one suddenly collapses. Being one of the youngest medical responders ever certified in [Location] , I have spent the majority of my adolescence running toward car crashes, flaming buildings, and into ditches while most sane people bolt in the opposite direction. While I am no stranger to cardiac arrest, severed limbs, and failing organs, it isn’t the mutilated patients that stand out in my memory, but the moments when I get a pulse back during CPR, the hugs from grateful family members, and the few, but treasured “thank you’s.”
This steel box that flies down the road at seventy miles per hour is where I grew up, where I fell in love with emergency medicine. It was a whole new world of insatiable curiosity and gut-wrenching adrenaline; where I became fascinated by the actions of presents a new puzzle—a new person to heal.
I never knew I had the courage to talk a suicidal sixteen-year-old boy down from the edge of a bridge, knowing that he could jump and take his life at any moment.
I never knew I had the strength to hold the hand of a dying man encased in the wreckage of his car while he spoke his last words to me.
I never knew I had the confidence to stand my ground and defend my treatment plan to those who saw me as less than capable because of my age or gender.
The emergency services brought me to places that I never could have imagined and introduced me to patients and people who broadened my worldview. I found myself in frigid rivers pulling unresponsive people into boats and laughing at the incredible sense of humor of a homeless man. It didn’t matter where people came from or who they were when they were on my stretcher, socioeconomic status and labels fell away. Whether I was performing CPR or helping a frail old woman off her kitchen floor, I knew I was changing a stranger’s life even if all I could offer was a hand to hold.
I have an innate passion to heal. I am continuously enthralled by the complexity and endless beauty of the human body and I could spend my whole life studying it, but I will only scrape the surface of its wonders. I could engineer cells to produce missing proteins; I could grow stem cell hearts, livers, and kidneys; I could create tumor destroying medications; I can heal people one person at a time until I help eliminate the word ‘incurable’ from the dictionary. I answer that catastrophic call day after day because to love medicine is to love humanity and no one has ever really lived until they have done something for someone who can never repay them.
- Specific Examples This essay has lots of detailed moments and descriptions. These anecdotes help back up their main idea by showing, rather than just telling. It's always important to include relevant examples because they are the "proof in the pudding" for what you're trying to say.
- Tricky Subject Matter This topic deals with a lot of sensitive issues, and at certain points the writing could be interpreted as insensitive or not humble. It's especially important when writing about tragedies that you focus on others, rather than yourself. Don't try to play up your accomplishments or role; let them speak for themselves. By doing so, you'll actually achieve what you're trying to do: create an image of an honorable and inspirational person.
- Lacks Reflection This essay touches on a lot of challenging and difficult moments, but it lacks a deep level of reflection upon those moments. When analyzing your essay, ask yourself: what is the deepest idea in it? In this case, there are some interesting ideas (e.g. "when they were on my stretcher, socioeconomic status...fell away"), but they are not fully developed or fleshed out.
Common App Essay Example #5: Cultural Confusion
This student's Common App was accepted to Pomona College , among other schools. Although this essay uses a common topic of discussing cultural background, this student writes a compelling take.
This student uses the theme of cultural confusion to explain their interests and identity:
An obnoxiously red banner with Chinese characters hangs in front of a small, unassuming diner close to home. I stroll inside Grand Lake, this bustling hive with waitresses scuttling hurriedly and tables shaking lightly, the din of laughter from families mixing with the aromas of Chinese food. A lady with a notepad impatiently beckons my family to sit at one of the free tables, and as soon as we’re all settled in, she begins addressing me in Mandarin - possibly asking what I wanted for a drink. I look at her blankly, and she returns the confused expression. “I don’t speak Chinese,” I laugh forcibly after a tense moment. She doesn’t find the humor in my apology. From thereafter, our order is taken in broken English, our chopsticks switched out for the standard fork and knife , and I feel the burning gaze of the waitresses judging my family as we eat our Sunday brunch in silence.
Cultural confusion is commonplace. Being born in Peru and raised in Venezuela makes no difference in how most people see and treat us. Focusing on my slanted, almond eyes and ebony hair, I’m automatically pegged as an Asian wherever I go. Touring Peruvian artisan markets is always a test of wit and cleverness, as vendors try to over-price items we’re interested in simply because we look Asian , and therefore must also have Crazy Rich Asian bank accounts. Pulling out a simple credit card at a Caracas mall once got us chased by three armed motorcyclists on the highway, and my mother risked collision as she wove in and out of the cramped lanes like a Formula One race car driver. Since when did my appearance jeopardize my life?
My ancestry traces back to both Chinese and Japanese roots, its imprint burrowed deep in my face and DNA. But I’m a third generation, Peruvian-born girl with the fire to prove it. Over time, our Asian culture diluted and was replaced with a vibrant, Latino lifestyle. With each generation, the immigrant language faded, folktales blurred, spices dulled, and all things Asian abandoned. I celebrated Noche Buena as a kid, not Chinese New Year’s. My favorite childhood dishes were anticuchos and papa huancaína, not onigiri rice balls or sushi rolls . Everyone assumes that I am a math prodigy, shy and antisocial, a black belt karate master, and a laughingstock on the dance floor . But actually, I struggle hardest in my math class, studying twice as much as others for the same grade. My personality, although sweet, is bold and gregarious. I am a three-year kickboxer and a five-year Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu competitor. Turn on Marc Anthony and I may just get a spot on So You Think You Can Dance. I’m Latina, just packed in a cute, little Bento box .
There is one Asian stereotype that I fit into, even though its backstory is completely misguided: playing the piano . In reality, piano musician culture was not developed in any Asian region, rather in European countries with pioneers such as Bach and Haydn. Statistically, there is an equal amount of Asian and non-Asian musicians in the professional world. I came across the piano through my own curiosity and will, not through my parents bludgeoning me to play it like it’s portrayed with all young Asians. I actually studied South American music for an international piano competition in Peru, finished as a finalist, and grew to love the radiant and eccentric style of Latino modern music. But I digress-- my potential should be evaluated separately from my appearance.
I am a musician born by passion, not by race. I am a human defined by my achievements and experiences, not physical assumptions. Leave your preconceptions by the welcome mat and size me up by the sound of my Rachmaninoff sonata or Enrique Iturriaga solos , and let my character sing your first and final impressions of me.
Common App Essay Example #6: Football Manager
Here's a UPenn essay that worked for the Common App:
When I watched the Patriots and Falcons play in the Super Bowl in February of [Date] , I had no idea that the next time I watched a football game I would be on the sidelines, right in the middle of all the action. However, that’s exactly what happened, and my experience as a football manager is not one that I will ever forget.
At the end of my junior year, the head football coach, Coach Cotter (who was also my AP Government teacher), asked me if I wanted to be a manager for the football team. He told me I would have to be at all the practices and games during the summer and throughout the school year. He made a compelling offer, but I turned him down because I didn't think I would have enough time during the summer with my classes, work, and vacation. One of my friends, however, took him up on his offer. In the middle of July, after hearing her talk about how much she enjoyed it, I asked her if she thought I would be able to join. After we spent a little bit talking about it , she asked if I wanted to go with her and see what it was like. I agreed, and I loved it. I asked Coach Cotter if he would mind if I joined, and I can still hear him saying, "Absolutely, the more the merrier!" in my head. The weeks of practice that followed, and then eventually the long Friday nights, proved to be an unforgettable experience.
The job of a football manager does not sound glamorous. Being at football practice for six hours every day during the summer and then three hours after school, surrounded by 47 sweaty football players and seven coaches who are constantly shouting is not how I planned to spend my summer and the fall of my senior year. But there was no way for me to know that this experience would teach me valuable lessons about life, regarding teamwork, hard work, and discipline.
In late July it was evident that some of the players were new and unsure of what to do. I watched as day after day the upperclassmen helped them learn their positions and become better players. This demonstration of teamwork impressed me, because instead of laughing at the younger players for not knowing what to do, they helped them become the best players they could be to make the team stronger. Once, three of our seniors got in trouble for some off field activities, and they had to sit out the first game, along with losing their helmet stickers that are given out for exceptional performances. I witnessed the effect that the consequences had on these players, and I heard one of our coaches after we lost the game tell them “Now you see how the consequences of your actions affected the entire team. Don't ever underestimate your importance to this team.” After that game, I saw the hard work that those boys put in to earn back their reputations and their helmet stickers. They taught me that even if I make mistakes, I will always learn from them no matter how much hard work it takes.
We managers go by many names: watergirls, team managers, hydration specialists. But none of these monikers can capture the rush of emotion I feel after a hard fought game, or the feeling of connectedness that comes every time we celebrate as a team after a victory, ringing our bell and blasting “Party in the USA.” My sense of school spirit has never been stronger. Throughout the summer, the three hours after school, and the seven hours I spend on game days with the players, I have learned lessons and developed relationships that I will never forget.
- Shows Sense of Humor This essay has lighthearted moments in it, such as recognizing how being a football manager "does not sound glamorous" and how "we managers go by many names: watergirls..." Using moments of humor can be appropriate for contrasting with moments of serious reflection. Being lighthearted also shows a sense of personality and that you are able to take things with stride.
- Surface-Level Ideas The reflections in this essay are far too generic overall and ultimately lack meaning because they are unspecific. Using buzzwords like "hard work" and "valuable lessons" comes off as unoriginal, so avoid using them at all costs. Your reflections need to be specific to you to be most meaningful. If you could (in theory) pluck out sentences from your essay and drop them into another student's essay, then chances are those sentences are not very insightful. Your ideas should be only have been able to been written by you: specific to your experiences, personal in nature, and show deep reflection.
- Vague And Impersonal Writing Although this essay uses the topic of "being a football manager," by the end of the essay it isn't clear what that role even constitutes. Avoid over-relying on other people or other's ideas when writing your essay. That is, most of the reflections in this essay are based on what the author witnessed the football team doing, rather than what they experienced for themselves in their role. Focus on your own experiences first, and be as specific and tangible as possible when describing your ideas. Rather than saying "hard work," show that hard work through an anecdote.
- Unnecessary Storytelling More important than your stories is the "So what?" behind them. Avoid writing stories that don't have a clear purpose besides "setting the scene." Although most fiction writing describes people and places as exposition, for your essays you want to avoid that unless it specifically contributes to your main point. In this essay, the first two paragraphs are almost entirely unnecessary, as the point of them can be captured in one sentence: "I joined to be a football manager one summer." The details of how that happened aren't necessary because they aren't reflected upon.
- Don't Preface Your Ideas In typical academic writing, we're taught to "tell them what you're going to tell them" before telling them. But for college essays, every word is highly valuable. Avoid prefacing your statements and preparing the reader for them. Instead of saying "XYZ would prove to be an unforgettable experience," just dive right into the experience itself. Think of admissions officers as "being in a rush," and give them what they want: your interesting ideas and experiences.

Common App Essay Example #7: Coffee
This student was admitted to several selective colleges, including Emory University, Northwestern University , Tufts University, and the University of Southern California . Here's their Common Application they submitted to these schools:
Blue blanket in one hand, cookie monster in the other, I stumbled down the steps to fill my sippy cup with coffee. My diplomatic self gulped down his caffeine while admiring his Harry Potter wands. My father and I watched the sunrise through the trees and windows. I cherished this small moment before my father left, disappearing in and out of my life at the wave of a wand, harassing my seemingly broken, but nevertheless, stronger, family.
I was 10, and my relationship with coffee flourished as my father vanished. I admired the average, yet complex beverage and may have been the only ten-year-old to ask for a French-press for his birthday. Nonetheless, learning to craft intricate cups of coffee became my favorite pastime. I spent hours studying how to “bloom” the grounds in a Chemex or pour a swan. Each holiday, I would ask for an aeropress, an espresso machine. I became a coffee connoisseur, infinitely perfecting my own form of art.
As the years went by--I was 11, 12, 13--I began to explore the cafes in Pittsburgh with my grandmother, capturing them through our shared love for photography. Coffee (one of the few positive memories I have of my father) is also the bridge that allows my grandmother and I to converge our distinctly different backgrounds into one harmonious relationship. Inside quaint coffee shops, we would discuss pop culture, fashion, and the meaning of life. We made it our mission to visit every cafe and document them not only through the camera lens, but also through the conversations we shared.
I was 16 years old, and working at a family-owned coffee shop training other employees to pour latte art. Making coffee became an artistic outlet that I never had before. I always loved math, but once I explored the complexities of coffee, I began to delve into a more creative realm--photography and writing--and exposed myself to the arts--something foreign and intriguing.
When my father left and my world exploded , coffee remained a light amongst the darkness. As the steam permeates my nostrils and the bitterness tickles my tongue, I learn a little more about myself. The act of pouring water over grounds allows me to slow down time for a moment, and reflect upon my day, my life, my dreams, and my future. When I dive into a morning cup, I take a plunge into the sea of the self, and as I sip, am struck with the feeling that coffee is a universal link between cultures. I picture my great grandmother sitting on her front porch in Rome, slurping LaVazza and eating her coffee-soaked biscotti. Every cup takes me back to my heritage, forces me to reflect upon where I came from and where I must go, and who else, in another world, is sipping the same drink and reflecting upon the same principles. You see, coffee is like the ocean. It bridges two culture, two lands, two brains, all through conversation, exposure, exploration, but by one medium. I do not see it as simply a beverage, but rather, a vehicle for so much more.
At 18, coffee is a part of who I am-- humble, yet important , simple, yet complex, and rudimentary, yet developed. As I explore new coffee shops, I explore a new part of myself, one once hidden beneath the surface of my persona. My grandmother and I--we are conquistadors of the cafe scene, conquering the world one coffee shop at a time and, in the process, growing endlessly closer to each other and ourselves. Coffee has allowed our relationship to flourish into a perpetual story of exploration and self-reflection.
Now, I often think about my father and how someone whom I resent so much could have introduced me to something I love so much. It is crazy to think that it took losing him for me to find my true self.
- Unique Metaphors This essay uses coffee as a metaphor for this student's self-growth, especially in dealing with the absence of their father. Showing the change of their relationship with coffee works well as a structure because it allows the student to explore various activities and ideas while making them seem connected.
- Specific Details This student does a great job of including specifics, such as coffee terminology ("bloom the grounds" and "pour a swan"). Using specific and "nerdy" language shows your interests effectively. Don't worry if they won't understand all the references exactly, as long as there is context around them.
- Unclear Main Idea While coffee is the central topic, the author also references their father extensively throughout. It isn't clear until the conclusion how these topics relate, which makes the essay feel disjointed. In addition, there is no strong main idea, but instead a few different ideas. In general, it is better to focus on one interesting idea and delve deeply, rather than focus on many and be surface-level.
- Tells, Not Shows Near the conclusion, this student tells about their character: "humble, yet important, simple, yet complex..." You should avoid describing yourself to admissions officers, as it is less convincing. Instead, use stories, anecdotes, and ideas to demonstrate these qualities. For example, don't say "I'm curious," but show them by asking questions. Don't say, "I'm humble," but show them with how you reacted after a success or failure.
Common App Essay Example #8: Chicago
Here's another Northwestern essay . Northwestern is a quite popular school with lots of strong essay-focused applicants, which makes your "Why Northwestern?" essay important.
To write a strong Why Northwestern essay, try to answer these questions: What does NU represent to you? What does NU offer for you (and your interests) that other schools don't?
Chubby fingers outstretched and round cheeks flattened against the window, I leaned further into the plexiglass. Although I could feel a firm hand tugging at my shirt, urging me to sit back in my seat - at ten, I possessed little concept of manners (or sanitary awareness) , both of which I abandoned as I refused to cease standing on the chair of the CTA train - at the moment, all that mattered was that I was soaring above the streets of Chicago. Eyes darting across the ever changing expanses of the city, I refused to lift my gaze in fear of missing anything.
For the first time, I was taking a trip in the belly of a gargantuan silver beast, known familiarly to most Chicagoans as the “L.” What distinguishes the L from its relatives - the Tube, le Métro, the MTA - is its ability to burst through concrete and asphalt streets to rise above, guided only by wood and steel, and glide through the towering skyscrapers that dot the Chicago skyline. It elevates and cultivates a sense of infinite wonder in its riders, from the all-too-serious businessmen I’ve caught gazing dreamily out the windows to the young children futilely yet passionately attempting to balance in the center of the car as the train weaves throughout the city. From that first ride to the present day, my fascination with the inner and outer workings of the L and its passengers has refined itself to an infatuation.
Each ride presents a chance to ponder the overlooked, to question the seemingly mundane : You can quantify the number of people that find themselves teeming through the L’s sliding doors, but can you quantify their experiences? Who is that woman, man, student, small rodent, and what is their story? I adopt the lenses of journalists, economists, marketers, sociologists, historians, and the mere fellow passenger to analyze: the placement of an ad for Planet Fitness adjacent to an ad for Pizza Hut, the change in the racial makeup of passengers as the train travels North to South, the origin of unassuming stains or abandoned books. More recently I pondered, if they say the beat of a butterfly’s wings can induce a hurricane halfway across the world, can a five minute train delay get me into college?
The L is a catalyst between my vim mind and the seemingly elusive outer world, a seventy-five cent silver chariot that I can ride to whatever adventure I see fit . Since that first ride, I persist in search of the optimal collection of train stops, forging a mental map of Chicago shaped by my life experiences - all accessible by a simple swipe of a ventra card. The multitude of train lines that branch from the L’s “Loop” are dotted with my discoveries. The boathouse, where I strain my vocal chords from hours of training (and hours of laughing with my teammates).
The school, where I test the waters of political responsibility, explore the depths of socioeconomic research, and conquer the wakes of edits delivered on my reporting for the newspaper. The small urban farm, located in a former project, that I help create and cultivate each spring and summer.
My thirst and and hunger for the knowledge of anything and everything was, and remains, insatiable. This train, this beating artery, pumping from the birthplace of the city to its outer reaches, is what quenches my thirst and satiates my hunger. Riding the L not only gave me the access to pursue rowing, a liberal education, and volunteerism; it forged a sense of adventurousness deep into the synapses of my nerves, a sense driving me into the intersections of journalism, student government, fashion, and aiding my beautiful city. That first L ride instilled the interests that lie within me, passions that subsist on experiencing life at its fullest and engaging my sponge-like intellectuality. I thrive on discovery; It defines who I am.
- Great Vocabulary This essay uses a variety of descriptive and compelling words, without seeming forced or unnatural. It is important that you use your best vocabulary, but don't go reaching for a thesaurus. Instead, use words that are the most descriptive, while remaining true to how you'd actually write.
- Compelling Metaphors This essay is one big metaphor: the "L" train serves as a vehicle to explore this student's intellectual curiosity. Throughout the essay, the student also incorporates creative metaphors like "the belly of a gargantuan silver beast" and "seventy-five cent silver chariot" that show a keen sense of expression. If a metaphor sounds like one you've heard before, you probably shouldn't use it.
- Connects to Activities & Achievements This student does a fantastic job of naturally talking about their activities. By connecting their activities to a common theme—in this case the "L" train—you can more easily move from one activity to the next, without seeming like you're just listing activities. This serves as an engaging way of introducing your extracurriculars and achievements, while still having the focus of your essay be on your interesting ideas.
- Takes You Into Their World Admissions officers are ultimately trying to get a sense of who you are. This student does a great job of taking the reader into their world. By sharing quirks and colloquialisms (i.e. specific language you use), you can create an authentic sense of personality.
Common App Essay Example #9: Mountaineering
Here's a liberal arts college Common App essay from Colby College . Colby is a highly ranked liberal arts college.
As with all colleges—but especially liberal arts schools—your personal essay will be a considerable factor.
In this essay, the student describes their experience climbing Mount Adams, and the physical and logistical preparations that went into it. They describe how they overcame some initial setbacks by using their organizational skills from previous expeditions.
This Colby student explains how the process of preparation can lead to success in academics and other endeavours, but with the potential for negative unintended consequences.
Common App Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)
The night before I climb to the summit, I pack my bag carefully, making sure all my equipment is in its rightful place. Headlamp in the left pocket. Clif Bar (nauseating but necessary) next to my sleeping bag. Three unlocked carabiners on my harness. Extra layers, ropes, and ice axes diligently packed away. After a few hours of sleep, I wake up under the midnight moon, my brain foggy in the high altitude and grateful for the extra preparation.
Although I would love to say this sense of organization comes naturally , it only became habit after my first major mountaineering expedition. The summer after freshman year, I flew to Washington to climb Mt. Adams, a lofty 12,000-foot peak in the shadow of Rainier. My backpacking, rock climbing, and skiing experience gave me the technical skills I would need for mountaineering, which is essentially a combination of those three sports. But physical skills alone could not compensate for the logistical skills I lacked. Just twenty minutes before starting the climb, I scrambled to pack under the faint beam of my headlamp. My one a.m. brain betrayed me; I left all my food at base camp. I climbed as far as I could, but had to descend to camp before long. It was not safe for me to continue on without food.
This anecdote was not unique to one summit attempt, or the outdoors in general. In middle school, I constantly neglected to make flashcards and write down homework, and my grades, though good, suffered as a result. I left behind a trail of forgotten ski coats and misplaced textbooks, and few were surprised when parent-teacher conferences revolved around the word ‘careless’. But after that failed summit attempt, I created organizational systems for every subsequent kayaking, hiking, and mountaineering trip, and began to apply them beyond the trailhead. While high school isn’t exactly comparable to climbing mountains, I pack my backpack the night before, make flashcards weeks before tests, and always stash extra snacks for cross country. The preparation steals a few precious minutes of sleep, but in return, means honors societies and academic excellence.
These processes have led to academic success, but weren’t without flaw. I spent hours preparing for each challenge, and in return expected an A on every test and a successful summit of each mountain. I felt that the outcome should be in exact proportion to my effort. I failed to recognize that I can’t control every variable. Heading into a difficult summit attempt of Mount Olympus, the tallest peak in Washington’s Olympic Range, I was certain it would go my way. I was in great shape, had practiced all my knots and rope skills, and, of course, had packed the night before. Despite it being the most difficult mountain, I had attempted, I thought that due to the work I had put in, it was my right to summit. I was wrong.
The glacier leading up to the summit was calving, or shedding ice, too quickly. These glacial avalanches would be deadly, there was no other way to the summit, and it was totally out of my control. I was devastated. We ate Snickers, normally enjoyed on the summit, on the glacier staring up at the peak. Below our feet, swimming through the glacial crevasses, were ice worms: tiny, endemic invertebrates. I transformed my disappointment into an opportunity to slow down and research glaciers and their tiny microorganisms. Looking back, I’m not upset I didn’t summit. I learned about ice worms and watermelon snow algae, but more importantly that while I can’t control every outcome, I can always control my attitude. I won’t reach the peak of every mountain, ace every test, or win every cross-country race, no matter how hard I prepare. But I can do my best, enjoy the process, and embrace the outcome, even if it’s not exactly what I expected.
- Central Theme and Metaphor This essay does a great job of having a cohesive theme: mountaineering. Often times, great essay topics can be something simple on the surface, such as your favorite extracurricular activity or a notable experience. Consider using the literal activity as a sort of metaphor, like this essay does. This student uses mountaineering as a metaphor for preparation in the face of upcoming challenge. Using an overarching metaphor along with a central theme can be effective because it allows you to explore various ideas while having them all feel connected and cohesive.
- Shows Vulnerability In Failure Admissions officers want to see your self-growth, which doesn't always mean your successes. Often times, being vulnerable by expressing your struggles is powerful because it makes you more human and relatable, while providing the opportunity to reflect on what you learned. The best lessons from come failures, and writing about challenge can also make your later successes feel more impactful. Everyone loves to hear an underdog or zero-to-hero story. But counterintuitively, your failures are actually more important than your successes.
- Surface-Level Reflections This essay has some nice ideas about focusing only on what's in your control: your attitude and your effort. However, these ideas are ultimately somewhat generic as they have been used countless times in admissions essays. Although ideas like this can be a good foundation, you should strive to reach deeper ideas. Deeper ideas are ones that are specific to you, unique, and interesting. You can reach deeper ideas by continually asking yourself "How" and "Why" questions that cause you to think deeper about a topic. Don't be satisfied with surface-level reflections. Think about what they represent more deeply, or how you can connect to other ideas or areas of your life.
Common App Essay Example #10: Boarding School
This personal essay was accepted to Claremont McKenna College . See how this student wrote a vulnerable essay about boarding school experience and their family relationship:
I began attending boarding school aged nine.
Obviously, this is not particularly unusual – my school dorms were comprised of boys and girls in the same position as me. However, for me it was difficult – or perhaps it was for all of us; I don’t know. We certainly never discussed it.
I felt utterly alone, as though my family had abruptly withdrawn the love and support thatI so desperately needed. At first, I did try to open up to them during weekly phone calls, but what could they do? As months slipped by, the number of calls reduced. I felt they had forgotten me. Maybe they felt I had withdrawn from them. A vast chasm of distance was cracking open between us.
At first, I shared my hurt feelings with my peers, who were amazingly supportive, but there was a limit to how much help they could offer. After a while, I realized that by opening up, I was burdening them, perhaps even irritating them. The feelings I was sharing should have been reserved for family. So, I withdrew into myself. I started storing up my emotions and became a man of few words. In the classroom or on the sports field, people saw a self-confident and cheerful character, but behind that facade was someone who yearned for someone to understand him and accept him as he was.
Years went past.
Then came the phone call which was about to change my life. “Just come home Aryan, it’s really important!” My mother’s voice was odd, brittle. I told her I had important exams the following week, so needed to study. “Aryan, why don’t you listen to me? There is no other option, okay? You are coming home.”
Concerned, I arranged to fly home. When I got there, my sister didn’t say hi to me, my grandmother didn’t seem overly enthusiastic to see me and my mother was nowhere to be seen. I wanted to be told why I was called back so suddenly just to be greeted as though I wasn’t even welcome.
Then my mother then came out of her room and saw me. To my immense incredulity, she ran to me and hugged me, and started crying in my arms.
Then came the revelation, “Your father had a heart attack.”
My father. The man I hadn’t really talked to in years. A man who didn’t even know who I was anymore. I’d spent so long being disappointed in him and suspecting he was disappointed in me, I sunk under a flood of emotions.
I opened the door to his room and there he was sitting on his bed with a weak smile on his face. I felt shaken to my core. All at once it was clear to me how self-centered I had become. A feeling of humiliation engulfed me, but finally I realized that rather than wallow in it, I needed to appreciate I was not alone in having feelings.
I remained at home that week. I understood that my family needed me. I worked with my uncle to ensure my family business was running smoothly and often invited relatives or friends over to cheer my father up.
Most importantly, I spent time with my family. It had been years since I’d last wanted to do this – I had actively built the distance between us – but really, I’d never stopped craving it. Sitting together in the living room, I realized how badly I needed them.
Seeing happiness in my father’s eyes, I felt I was finally being the son he had always needed me to be: A strong, capable young man equipped to take over the family business if need be.
Common App Essay Example #11: My Father
This Cornell University essay is an example of writing about a tragedy, which can be a tricky topic to write about well.
Family and tragedy essays are a commonly used topic, so it can be harder to come up with a unique essay idea using these topics.
Let me know what you think of this essay for Cornell:
One in three victims of a heart attack don’t show any symptoms before it happens. Ninety-five percent of cardiac arrests that occur outside a hospital are fatal. These are not merely statistics. A heart attack redefined my life on November 21st, [Date] .
It was a warm autumn morning, and I was raking leaves with my Boy Scout Troop to fundraise for our high adventure patrol’s 50-mile hike to summit Mt. Washington in New Hampshire. I had left my house on my bike early, without telling my mom—she was asleep, and my dad was at work.
About an hour into raking, I saw my mother park nearby, and braced myself for a lecture about how my absence had freaked her out. No part of me imagined why she was actually there. Two words, delivered with the force of a Mack truck, “Dad died.” That morning on his routine break, his cardiac arteries became terminally obstructed. A heart attack and subsequent cardiac arrest ensued. That was it. No goodbye, no I love you, none of that.
From there, my mind spiraled downward into an emotional void. I began to question my entire life—and how my father played into it. What did I last say to him? Did he know how much I loved him? I wanted to pinch myself and end the nightmare. But no, it was real life. In the subsequent weeks, there was no clarity or closure. The path I was travelling on was engulfed by thick fog. I questioned everything about life as I knew it: why do bad things happen to good people?—what does life mean?—how can I move forward?—how can the universe be so cruel? Three years later, I’m still searching for answers.
My father was wise, reserved, hardworking, and above all, caring. I idolized his humility and pragmatism, and I cherish it today. But after his death, I was emotionally raw. I could barely get through class without staving off a breakdown.
Looking at my reflection in my dresser mirror one afternoon, I was examining my bloodshot, teary eyes when I noticed an old sticker of a black and white eye. When I was ten or eleven, I had gotten into trouble for playing video games too much, cursing, or some other youthful infraction. I was in my room as punishment after being scolded, when my dad came in. He placed this simple sticker on the mirror, and said, “Just remember, I’m always watching over you, no matter where I am.” When this happened, I knew he was being contextual about making sure I didn’t misbehave— but after his death, it seemed so omniscient and transcendental. When I look at that sticker, I know he’s with me.
One of my dad’s favorite adages was, “If you really think you’re doing your best—and it’s still not enough—make your best better.” When he would scold me about my grades, I always thought he was just being a “stickler,” demanding perfection. I know now that he was just encouraging me to do and be my best. His words have become my credo. During the entire year after his death, there were more than a few “firsts without dad”—first Christmas, first birthday, first Father’s Day, but also the first time I truly motivated myself. I think of my dad often, but never more than when I am pushing myself to succeed.
One in three victims are unaware they’re about to have a heart attack? Ninety five percent of cardiac arrest victims die? These statistics are just not good enough for me. As my dad would say, it’s time to make our best better to combat heart disease. My father is more than a statistic. His wisdom lives within me. When I face life’s obstacles, I know I can conquer them with him on my side.
- Deals With Tragedy, Without Garnering Sympathy Writing about tragedy, such as the loss of a loved one, is a tricky topic because it has been used countless times in college admissions. It is difficult to not come off as a "victim" or that you're trying to garner sympathy by using the topic (i.e. a "sob story"). This essay does a great job of writing about a personal tragedy in a meaningful and unique way by connecting to values and ideas, rather than staying focused on what literally happened. By connecting tragedy to lessons and takeaways, you can show how—despite the difficulty and sorrow—you have gained something positive from it, however small that may be. Don't write about personal tragedy because you think "you should." As with any topic, only write about it if you have a meaningful point to make.
- Brings You Into Their World This essay is effective at making the reader feel the similar emotions as the author does and in bringing the reader into their "world." Even small remarks like noting the the "firsts" without their loved one are powerful because it is relatable and something that is apparent, but not commonly talked about. Using short phrases like "That was it. No goodbye, no I love you..." create emphasis and again a sense of relatability. As the reader, you can vividly imagine how the author must have felt during these moments. The author also uses questions, such as "What did I last say to him?" which showcase their thought process, another powerful way to bring the reader into your world.
- Shows Change In Perspective Admissions officers are looking for self-growth, which can come in a variety of forms. Showing a new perspective is one way to convey that you've developed over time, learned something new, or gained new understanding or appreciation. In this essay, the student uses the "sticker of a black and white eye" to represent how they viewed their father differently before and after his passing. By using a static, unchanging object like this, and showing how you now view it differently over time, you convey a change in perspective that can make for interesting reflections.
Common App Essay Example #12: DMV Trials
Here's a funny Common App essay from a Northwestern admitted student about getting their driver's license.
This topic has been used before—as many "topics" have—but what's important is having a unique take or idea.
What do you think of this Northwestern essay ?
Seatbelt on. Mirrors adjusted. Key in the ignition. I am ready to roll. I am sitting in the parking lot of a DMV with a small Hispanic lady with overly drawn-on eyebrows in the passenger seat. In her hands, she holds a beige clipboard and a pen that looks as though it has been half-eaten by some underfed pomeranian. Oh wait, it’s not the pomeranian, it’s her. She is now gnawing on her pen. Oh gosh, Emily don’t focus on that; focus on how you’re going to pull out of this parking lot. I am panting heavily. All of the sweat that was once flowing from my body is now on the steering wheel.
Breath, Emily, breath. I drive to the exit and face a four-lane roadway. “Turn left,” my passenger says.
“Okay,” I mutter back. I can do this. I can totally do this. I am Emily [Name] for goodness sake. The Emily [Name] who is president of student council, Failure is not in my vocabulary; it never has been, and it never will be. I proceed in driving. “Stop!” Oh no. I look to my right to see the examiner grip the ceiling handle with all her might; her eyes simulate the expression her penciled-on eyebrows were portraying all along. I am in the middle of the roadway; cars are heading towards me in all directions. At that moment, I know I failed.
March 25, [Date] , is a day that will live in infamy. The day I experienced failure. Unaccepting of my loss, I blamed my driving incompetence on my mother’s Chrysler minivan, which had what I liked to call “touchy brakes.” My father was good at agreeing with me, adding on with “it’s too foggy out” and “maybe you’re wearing the wrong shoes.” Assigning responsibility for my ineptitude to a pair of sneakers was far easier than admitting that I just wasn’t good at driving. So, with my ego still at large, I decided to take the driver’s test again the following weekend.
April 1, [Date] , is another day that will live in infamy. The day I experienced failure for the second time. I failed my road test again, but not for the same reason as before. This time I actually made it out of the parking lot. However, I did in fact run over a curb and blow a stop sign. I didn’t receive as much sympathy as I did for my earlier attempt. It wasn’t the car nor the shoes this time. It was me. I failed my driver’s test all on my own. Now, any normal, rational human being would probably call this “not a big deal,” but to my high-strung sixteen-year old-self, it was a big deal. How could I have failed something that ninety percent of my class mastered on their first try?
My entire life, I had been accustomed to excelling in whatever I did. Whether it was in school work or extracurriculars, my life ran on a simple input-output system. I would put the hard work in and out would come immediate success.
On July 29, [Date] , I finally got my license. After the April debacle, I practiced driving almost every week. I learned to stop at stop signs and look both ways before crossing streets, the things I apparently didn’t know how to do during my first two tests. When pulling into the parking lot with the examiner for the last time, a wave of relief washed over me.
“Third time’s the charm,” the lazy-eyed instructor told me. I was ecstatic! For the first time in my life, I was licensed in driving as well as licensed in resilience. My experiences at the DMV taught me that failure is inevitable and essential to moving forward. As I peer down the long road ahead, I am no longer afraid to conquer any bump in my path.
- Strong Storytelling This essay does a good job of having a compelling narrative. By setting the scene descriptively, it is easy to follow and makes for a pleasant reading experience. However, avoid excessive storytelling, as it can overshadow your reflections, which are ultimately most important.
- Overly Critical/Negative This essay has some moments where the author may come off as being overly critical, of either themselves or of others. Although it is okay (and good) to recognize your flaws, you don't want to portray yourself in a negative manner. Avoid being too negative, and instead try to find the positive aspects when possible.
- Lacks Reflection More important than your stories is the answer to "So what?" and why they matter. Avoid writing a personal statement that is entirely story-based, because this leaves little room for reflection and to share your ideas. In this essay, the reflections are delayed to the end and not as developed as they could be.
- Failure Is Good In this essay, it comes across that failure is negative. Although the conclusion ultimately has a change of perspective in that "failure is inevitable and essential to moving forward," it doesn't address that failure is ultimately a positive thing. Admissions officers want to see failure and your challenges, because overcoming those challenges is what demonstrates personal growth.
Common App Essay Example #13: Ice Cream Fridays
This Columbia essay starts off with a vulnerable moment of running for school president. The student goes on to show their growth through Model UN, using detailed anecdotes and selected moments.
“Ice cream Fridays!” “Two hours of recess!” 500 middle schoolers stood and cheered, pounding their feet on the bleachers. Declan was the popular star quarterback and my opponent for school president. He looked like an adult in a tailored suit, gesturing with his hands, never checking his notes, casting looks at the girls sitting in the front row. He had long wavy hair, a smooth complexion, and charisma. I sat in my polyester blue blazer and rumpled khakis. I was becoming more emasculated and filled with self-doubt with each chant.
I had the best platform ideas and my aunt helped paint two dozen campaign posters. The year before, I carried the weight in student council while Declan skipped half our meetings. I was sure I could win. I clomped to the mic in my dad’s dress shoes. I read my long speech from my notes without enthusiasm. My only applause came from a couple of friends who felt bad for me.
Later, in high school, math and programming made sense to me — people didn’t. At a Model UN meeting, confident upperclassmen talked about the power of persuasion and public speaking. I felt like I didn’t belong, but their command of the stage made me want to be a part of it. At my first conference, representing Brazil’s humanitarian policies, I had developed what I thought was a brilliant proposal. I was confident and was the first to raise my placard. I had so many ideas but when I took the mic, I didn’t know where to start. I rambled on about background and never got to my main points. I felt foolish for thinking I was going to be so effective. My highwater pants and my sleeves hanging over my fingers added to my insecurity.
I continued this pattern of my speaking skills not matching my confidence in the quality of my ideas. To compensate, I increased the intensity of my preparation. I’d fill a binder with hundreds of research documents, I immersed myself in my roles. I mistakenly assumed that good ideas alone would be enough to win. At one conference, two delegates asked me to join their bloc to get access to my ideas with no intention of giving me a meaningful role. They saw me purely as a policy wonk.
My fascination with geopolitical and economic issues were what kept me committed to MUN. But by the end of sophomore year, the co-presidents were fed up. “Henry, we know how hard you try, but there are only so many spots for each conference...” said one. “You’re wasting space, you should quit,” said the other.
Nevertheless, I persisted. My junior year I ran for club secretary. Automating attendance and quantitative projects were my inclination. But members saw me as a younger, less intimidating officer, and started coming to me for guidance. When Gabby, a freshman, came to me for advice, I tried to pass her off to the co-presidents. She was terrified of speaking at conferences, and I didn’t know how to express my empathy. “They aren’t going to take me seriously, I don’t have charisma, I’m too short!” I saw my own insecurities in her. I didn’t feel like I was qualified to help, but I reminded her of the passion she had shown in meetings. Gradually, I became a mentor to her and many others. I was enjoying supporting them and was gratified by guiding their growth as delegates. One sophomore even anointed me “MUN soccer mom.”
On the bus to her first conference, Gabby was in a panic, but throughout the day I saw her confidence grow. When she won Outstanding Delegate, beyond anyone’s expectations, our whole row erupted in wild cheers. When my name was also called shortly after, it felt anticlimactic. I was far more proud of succeeding in my new role as a mentor than I was of my own award.
- Strong Narrative This essay has a compelling story, starting from this author's early struggles with public speaking and developing into their later successes with Model UN. Using a central theme—in this case public speaking—is an effective way of creating a cohesive essay. By having a main idea, you can tie in multiple moments or achievements without them coming across unrelated.
- Shows Humility This student talks about their achievements with a humble attitude. To reference your successes, it's equally important to address your failures. By expressing your challenges, it will make your later achievements seem more impactful in contrast. This student also is less "me-focused" and instead is interested in others dealing with the same struggles. By connecting to people in your life, values, or interesting ideas, you can reference your accomplishments without coming off as bragging.
- Needs More Reflection This essay has moments of reflection, such as "math and programming made sense... people didn't". However, most of these ideas are cut short, without going much deeper. When you strike upon a potentially interesting idea, keep going with it. Try to explain the nuances, or broaden your idea to more universal themes. Find what is most interesting about your experience and share that with admissions.
- Unnecessary Descriptions Stories are important, but make sure all your descriptions are critical for the story. In this essay, the author describes things that don't add to the story, such as the appearance of other people or what they were wearing. These ultimately don't relate to their main idea—overcoming public speaking challenges—and instead are distracting.

- No Essay Requirements
- Test-Blind or Optional Policies
- Sorted by Acceptance Rate
- And 80+ useful filters!
Common App Essay Example #14: Key to Happiness
Here's a Brown University application essay that does a great job of a broad timeline essay. This student shows the change in their thinking and motivations over a period of time, which makes for an interesting topic.
Let me know what you think of this Brown essay:
Common App Prompt #3: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? (250-650 words)
If you are not the first, you are one of the rest. I always thought this was the key to happiness. Even when I was an infant, my mom used to say that I chose the people who could carry me. There were only two people: my mom and my sister, not even my dad.
Growing up, I always wanted to be the best in everything. And I was for the most part. I have a bunch of certificates: first in elocution competition, debates, patriotic song competitions, fancy dress, story narration, top 1% in the Macmillan math Olympiad, etc. In all the parent-teacher meetings, every teacher would say that my parents were blessed to have such a child and no one else stood a chance.
Everything went great until I came second in the fifth grade in the annual examination. I just could not admit that I got defeated, that someone else was better than me. As the middle school period is when “who is the prettiest girl in class” came up, I lost there as well. Since that mattered a lot during the puberty stage, that cost me my confidence. I stopped talking to my friends because I thought they had this perception of me being ugly. It went to such an extent that I thought my parents felt the same way, so I’d never let them attend the parent-teacher meetings. I stopped participating in many activities.
Then the ultimate burst: my sister, the one whom I’d let hold me, moved to the United States. That was the rock bottom; I felt so lonely and lost. I just isolated myself because I felt so insecure. I was afraid to be with myself. Still, I lingered on and immersed myself in something I knew I was good at and did not have to be social: academics. Then came the eighth grade. This was the most crucial period of my life. Just keep reading and you’ll know why.
This was when I was introduced to programming, and since I was always inclined to problem-solving and logical analysis, I was fascinated. When I could solve the problems my tutor gave me, I felt like I was solving problems in my real life and started to regain control (as I was when I was a baby) . That’s how my passion for programming started. I delved further into this. This made me come out of that pitch-black pit. In my tenth-grade board exam, I was one among the few to get the perfect score in computer science. But I wasn’t ready to let this go after the tenth grade. I gave up a relaxed life for the Android development classes during my tenth-grade summer vacations.
When I published my first app in the Google play store, I realized that this was the happiest I had ever been. So, does it make you happy if you are the best at everything? When was I the happiest— when I was the best at everything or when I was programming? The truth is that the former happiness was fleeting. It was for those few words of my teachers or my peers, but the latter was real. It’s true, that was harder to achieve but when I did come past all those little runtime errors and crashes, it made my day. So, the answer to the question is ‘no’. What makes you happy is you pursuing your passion.
The outcome: my attitude towards life changed. Nothing could pull me down anymore. Even if I didn’t top my class, I was happy because I knew my happiness was independent. The sheer spirit of chasing my dreams makes me happy. I will work hard to achieve them. You create your own destiny.
- English As A Second Language This student's first language is not English, which provides some insight into why the phrasing may not seem as natural or show as much personality. Admissions officers are holistic in determining who to admit, meaning they take into account many different factors when judging your essays. While this essay may not be the strongest, the applicant probably had other qualities or "hooks" that helped them get accepted, such as awards, activities, unique background, etc. Plus, there is some leniency granted to students who don't speak English as their first language, because writing essays in a foreign language is tough in and of itself.
- Overly Self-Confident It's good to be confident in your achievements, but you don't want to come across as boastful or self-assured. In this essay, some of the phrasing such as "when I was the best at everything" seems exaggerated and is off-putting. Instead of boosting your accomplishments, write about them in a way that almost "diminishes" them. Connect your achievements to something bigger than you: an interesting idea, a passionate cause, another person or group. By not inflating your achievements, you'll come across more humble and your achievements will actually seem more impactful. We all have heard of a highly successful person who thinks "it's no big deal," which actually makes their talents seem far more impressive.
- Lacks Unique And Deep Ideas This essay has some takeaways and reflections, as your essay should too, but ultimately these ideas are unoriginal and potentially cliché. Ideas like "what makes you happy is pursing your passion" are overused and have been heard thousands of times by admissions officers. Instead, focus on getting to unique and "deep" ideas: ideas that are specific to you and that have meaningful implications. It's okay to start off with more surface-level ideas, but you want to keep asking questions to yourself like "Why" and "How" to push yourself to think deeper. Try making connections, asking what something represents more broadly, or analyzing something from a different perspective.
- Unnecessary And Repetitive Sentences You don't need to preface your ideas in your essay. Don't say things like "I later found out this would be life-changing, and here's why." Instead, just jump into the details that are most compelling. In this essay, there are moments that seem repetitive and redundant because they don't add new ideas and instead restate what's already been said in different words. When editing your essay, be critical of every sentence (and even words) by asking: Does this add something new to my essay? Does it have a clear, distinct purpose? If the answer is no, you should probably remove that sentence.
Common App Essay Example #15: Discovering Passion
Here's a Johns Hopkins essay that shows how the student had a change in attitude and perspective after taking a summer job at a care facility.
It may seem odd to write about your potential drawbacks or weaknesses—such as having a bad attitude towards something—but it's real and can help demonstrate personal growth.
So tell me your thoughts on this JHU Common App essay:
Common App Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. (250-650 words)
"If I'll have to be around the old people, I'm not working there. I just don't feel comfortable around them. I mean, I can't even understand what they're saying half the time!"
Dismissively, I rejected my father's nagging proposal that I apply for a summer job at a local long-term care center, arguing that I'd lose my patience much too quickly in attempting to interact with elderly residents. However, with my father being, well, my father, I reluctantly filled out a job application, reluctantly attended an interview, and, 5 days later , reluctantly commuted to an orientation for my position as a 'resident partner'. Although I initially viewed the job as a prison sentence which I had been condemned to serve for 8 hours per day, the care center would eventually come to serve as a clarion call, challenging each and every preconceived notion I held in regards to a globally misunderstood population, and by extension facilitate the development of a more socially conscious personal character.
From the moment I stepped foot in the care center that would soon become a home-away-from-home for the length of my summer, the entirety of my perspective concerning senior citizens was entirely turned upon its head. These elderly persons were nothing near the stereotypical portrayals of the generational group which I had taken at face value and had accepted to be unalterably true; these individuals appeared to be exactly that: individuals. These individuals laughed as if no-one were watching, grinning from ear to ear. These individuals wore expressions of abandonment, fighting against tears of sorrow. These individuals engaged in enthusiastic conversation with acquaintances, recounting the latest achievement of a granddaughter. These individuals engaged in solitary introspection, attempting (albeit unsuccessfully) to piece together distant memories of a late wife. Where I had inserted my simplistic view of senior citizens as a static monolith, these individuals showcased a mosaic of human emotion , destroying the ideological box I had structured around their collective identity.
Nonetheless, while the past notions which I had nurtured were quickly deprived of their vitality as a direct consequence of the myriad behaviors exhibited by the care center's residents , I developed a more comprehensive and impactful understanding of the elderly population through my interactions with residents suffering from neural afflictions, namely a frail, endearing woman named Constance.
Resultant of the frequency with which Constance and her wheelchair seemed to bump into me, it happened that a friendship blossomed between she and I. Revealing to me one afternoon that she had endured a stroke decades ago, Constance passively lamented the implications of such an experience, among which existed a speech impediment compromising the ease with which she could engage in conversation. For some odd reason or another, this confession served as a catalyst, utterly decimating any remnant of my elementary view in regards to this social demographic. Perhaps owing to the intimate nature of such a statement, or perhaps owing to the period of introspection such a statement encouraged within me, Constance's words facilitated a realization of the depth of the innumerably varied experiences undergone by senior citizens. Not only did Constance demonstrate to me the dynamic, rounded character of elderly individuals ; Constance unwittingly offered me a glimpse into the unfortunate reality that neural diseases are deeply misunderstood, resulting in the reduction of afflicted persons to the definition and symptoms of their disease .
Armed with a newfound awareness of the subtle dehumanization suffered by those found in circumstances mirroring Constance's, my interest in the function and coordination of the brain and its activity was magnified. Moreover, my tentative decision to pursue a career in neurology—in order to reduce the marginalization of elderly individuals by means of amplifying general knowledge concerning neurological diseases—was solidified.
Regardless of whether this aspiration comes to pass, or I head down a different path , it will remain true that I left my summer job with so much more than a paycheck.
- Compelling Introduction This student uses vulnerability in admitting that they held preconceived notions about the elderly before this experience. The quote introduces these preconceived notions well, while the description of how this student got their job in the care facility is also engaging.
- Shows Human Connection Admission officers love to see your interactions with others. Showing how you interact reveals a lot about your character, and this essay benefits from reflecting upon the student's relationship with a particular elderly individual.
- Overly Descriptive Writing It is good to be descriptive, but only when it supports your expression of ideas. In this essay, the author uses adjectives and adverbs excessively, without introducing new ideas. Your ideas are more important than having a diverse vocabulary, and the realizations in this essay are muddled by rephrasing similar ideas using seemingly "impressive," but ultimately somewhat meaningless, vocabulary.
- Too Repetitive This essay touches on some interesting ideas, but on multiple occasions these ideas are repeated just in different phrasing. If you have already expressed an idea, don't repeat it unless you're adding something new: a deeper context, a new angle, a broadened application, etc. Ask yourself: what is the purpose of each sentence, and have I expressed it already?
- Potentially Cliché Topic It's true that almost any topic can make for a strong essay, but certain topics are trickier because they make it easy to write about overly used ideas. In this essay, the main idea can be summarized as: "I realized the elderly were worthy humans too." It touches upon more interesting ideas, such as how people can be reduced down to their afflictions rather than their true character, but the main idea is somewhat surface-level.
Common App Essay Example #16: "Girl Things"
This Common App essay for the University of Pennsylvania centers on the theme of womanhood. Not only is it well-written, but this essay has interesting and unique ideas that relate to the student's interests.
A cow gave birth and I watched. Staring from the window of our stopped car, I experienced two beginnings that day: the small bovine life and my future. Both emerged when I was only 10 years old and cruising along the twisting roads of rural Maryland. While my country-bound aunt and cousin were barely phased, the scene struck my young and sheltered eyes. Along with a whirlwind of emotions, the unrestrained act of parturition triggered a feeling of warmth I will never forget.
Years later I learned in biology that all women are biologically nurturing, physically and emotionally. What did that mean? At that point in my life, I could truly make no connection. My idea of femininity was locked in what society had shown me thus far. Femininity was wearing dresses, applying makeup, cheerleading, and giggling near the most popular jock in the entire middle school. In other words, things I did not exactly partake in.
But as I sat in the classroom, I didn’t think about my gender or how I relate to what society considers to be female. Rather, the discussion brought me back to that hot car, parked in front of that special birthing cow. I witnessed the essence of biological femininity as that cow radiated love and affection to her calf immediately after his arrival into the world. The cow represented the epitome of femininity: nurturement and selflessness.
As I have considered the idea of “biological femininity”, I have for years questioned how I fit in with that term. Admittedly, I stray far from the stereotypical female. However, according to developmental neuroscience, evolutionary biology, and studies of sex-based cognitive differences, I am empathetic and intuitive, and prefer language over logic— and that was all I needed. Through the birth of a calf, I realized that I did not need to be interested in “girl things” to be a girl. I did not need a characterized maternal figure to show me how to be a young lady. I certainly did not need a man to tell me how to be a woman. The qualities I possess internally give me all the femininity I need to be a female. There was no definition beyond that, nothing society could paint. That, I believed, was absolutely beautiful.
The future is female. Now that I am beginning to understand the fluidity of femininity, hearing those words empowers me. There are endless ways to live the female experience, no one experience more valid than another. Creativity, intuition, kindness, and love are the roots of femininity, while whatever blooms is up to the individual. With my roots firmly planted, I only need the opportunity to grow to create my future.
When I began thinking of a future field of study and career, I didn’t hesitate; I knew I wanted to work with women. After my struggle with femininity, nothing else intrigued me more. The birth of the cow seven years ago was my inciting incident. My story must include the love, warmth, and beauty of that day. To be a part of the birth story of others entering this world and to study the life and love that preceded is my goal. Eventually, through whatever it takes, I will become an OB/GYN so I can work with women daily , helping teenagers through puberty and educating on sexuality, supporting women through their personal challenges, and assisting in the life-changing act of childbirth. I am dedicated to the future of women.
A cow gave birth and I watched. That experience helped me to become the powerful, strong-minded, and passionate young woman I am today. In pursuing a doctorate I hope to encourage and guide other women to be their own best self and show through my actions and story that there is no one version of womanhood that is “right”, perhaps influencing a new generation.
Common App Essay Example #17: Robotics
This Common App essay was for Washington University in St. Louis .
This student writes about their experience creating and using an engineering notebook to better document their robotics progress. They share the story of how their dedication and perseverance led to winning awards and qualifying for the national championships.
Lastly, they reflect on the importance of following one's passions in life and decision to pursue a business degree instead of a engineering one.
My drooping eyes fluttered, biding time before my inevitable descent into a well-deserved slumber. My hand scratched on with determination as I reflected on the past VEX robotics season in my engineering notebook. As I penned my final entry, the once heavy strokes of ink regressed into nothingness, and the cartridge breathed its last, one final victim of my notebook. With an internal salute, I disposed of the pen and retrieved another to finish my reflection. When finally content with my writings, I clicked my pen shut and let out a deep sigh of closure before sauntering up to my bed. As I lay down, I realized that my dedication to my engineering notebook had concluded a crucial leg in my journey toward further education and adulthood. My mind wandered back to the beginning.
Going into my freshman year, my high school's VEX Robotics program personified the proverbial David facing other organizations’ Goliaths. With only one adviser, our poorly funded team struggled to compete with the private clubs who could access high-tech engineering rooms stocked abundantly with building materials. Despite the program’s frugality, my team successfully qualified for the Wisconsin State Championship in my freshman and, then, sophomore year. During those years we earned respect throughout the VEX community , but we never procured any awards that would solidify our program’s competitiveness. To win awards, teams must document their robotics progress in an engineering notebook. During my junior year, with the desire to improve my VEX club’s prestige, I volunteered to create the notebook. At the time, I feared the commitment, never anticipating the unforeseen rewards.
As I progressed through my junior year, I crafted the engineering notebook assiduously ; I set timetables, documented brainstorming sessions, and sketched potential designs all in hopes of winning an award to validate my team. With the first competition approaching, my team spent countless hours building and coding the robot, constantly overcoming the challenges presented by our lack of building materials. In spare moments between schoolwork and VEX, I worked feverishly on the notebook. When competition day arrived, I worried that all our hard work would be unavailing. Despite my apprehensions, we performed exceptionally , and we went on to win the tournament.
Furthermore, my team won the Design Award, which recognizes the best engineering notebook. I felt momentarily overjoyed, but I realized that perseverance could potentially multiply our success. Upon arriving home, I withdrew to my room and continued my meticulous work in my engineering notebook. By the time the State Championship arrived, teams from around Wisconsin respected our program . We were no longer underdogs; rather, we were fierce competitors. At State, we won the CREATE Award for a well-documented and creative design solution, and we qualified for the CREATE US Open Championship. Representing Wisconsin at the national level was the greatest honor of my life. Reshuffling my pillow, my reverie ceased as I considered how my experience creating the engineering notebook taught me invaluable life lessons of tenacity and diligence. I thought about how I no longer bore a childish fear of commitments; instead, I embraced new challenges. Moreover, I realized the notebook enhanced my time management skills both in the short-term and in the long-term. I often worked ahead on homework to leave time for writing, and I learned to make decisions about the overall timeline of our project.
Above all, however, the notebook helped me realize that I should study business instead of following the typical VEX participant’s engineering path. I found my niche when I focused on project management with the notebook instead of concentrating on the specifics of the robot. In a final wink of consciousness, I felt true happiness knowing that my hard work had paid off. Then I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
- Lacks Deep Ideas Or Reflection This essay touches on various lessons that they've learned as a result of their experience doing robotics. However, these lessons are ultimately surface-level and generic, such as "I embraced new challenges." Although these could be a starting point for deeper ideas, on their own they come off as unoriginal and overused. Having interesting ideas is what makes an essay the most compelling, and you need to delve deeply into reflection, past the surface-level takeaways. When drafting and brainstorming, keep asking yourself questions like "How" and "Why" to dig deeper. Ask "What does this represent? How does it connect to other things? What does this show about myself/the world/society/etc.?"
- Glosses Over Details/Topic Although this essay is focused on "VEX robotics," the details of what that activity involves are not elaborated. Rather than focusing on the surface-level descriptions like "We competed and won," it would be more engaging to delve into the details. What did your robot do? How did you compete? What were the specific challenges in "lacking building materials"? Use visuals and imagery to create a more engaging picture of what you were doing.
- Weak Intro/Conclusion The hook and ending sentences of "drifting off to sleep" feel arbitrary and not at all connected to any ideas throughout the essay. Instead, it comes off as a contrived choice to create a "full circle" essay. Although coming full circle is often a good strategy, there should be a specific purpose in doing so. For your intro, try using a short sentence that creates emphasis on something interesting. For the conclusion, try using similar language to the intro, expanding upon your ideas to more universal takeaways, or connecting back to previous ideas with a new nuance.
Common App Essay Example #18: Lab Research
I remove the latex gloves from my hands. I oscillate between looking at the rats enclosed in the acoustic startle chambers to my right, and my team project advisor to my left. A silver lab table, cluttered with syringes, vials, and countless notes, separates me and him. A lab rat’s cage sits at the center like a cornucopia. I begin to sit on a cold lab stool, and upon confirming that the Startle Reflex software is indeed running, I settle into my seat. Though the atmosphere smells faintly of urine, I am comfortable.
These lazy afternoons collecting data defined my experience at the Governor’s School in the Sciences. Our team would spend hours with the acoustic startle chambers, startling rats in the presence of anxiogenic pheromones from other rodent urine in order to evaluate their altered behavioral responses — freezing, excessive grooming, urination, that sort of thing. Turns out, scaring rats enough to pee their pants takes a long time.
My team project advisor, Zach, made these long hours, not only bearable, but pivotal in my understanding of the applied sciences. Zach was the youngest counselor at GSS and was definitely the easiest to talk to. He would always entertain me and my peers with tales of his college club’s calls for divestment in the fossil fuel industry. He relayed to us an inspiring tale: one day, while completing some organic chemistry assignment, Zach felt the commanding urge to start a protest. Against the backdrop of the divisive presidential election of 2016, Zach felt increasingly frustrated by a general feeling of listlessness amid a rapidly transforming world. He eventually found environmental activism, drawing on his scientific background, as a vehicle to make tangible change in the global landscape. And while Zach’s angsty musings were easy to tease, always ornamented with quintessential frat-boy idiosyncrasies, like the overuse of the words “bro” and “yo,” they forced me to consider my own passions in the context of scientific inquiry. Zach, motivated by the pregnant intersection between environmental science and civic engagement, oriented my own career goals in a very profound way.
Prior to GSS, I had always found myself trying to mediate between my interests in public policy and science, from obsessively reading about America’s diplomatic relations to Middle East, to madly teaching myself about the neuroscientific underpinnings of behavior. Zach’s endeavors, his involvement in activism while studying science, revealed an entire sphere between two worlds where my own passions in both could finally coincide. The fruitful conversations I had with Zach demanded that I consider the pragmatic applications of the research we were doing, engaging with the real world in the same manner he had.
Researching chemical signaling in rodents was an exploration of the social transmission of fear in humans — a study with numerous political applications, especially in today’s age of demagogic political rhetoric. Indeed, a rat gaining awareness of a fearful situation is analogous to a human’s awareness of a fearful situation; hysteria in large groups has often lent to social chaos, falling victim to the same conspecific negotiations as in our rodent study. Application of our study in a political context made me realize that my interests are interwoven, though kaleidoscopic.
At GSS, whether it be in the lectures I listened to or the labs I did, my professors borrowed ideas from all fields alike; political implications arising in neuroscientific research, cultural anthropology in human evolution — even philosophical inquiries appeared in courses on special relativity. I loved every academic excursion onto these intellectual, peripheral avenues, as they always contextualized science in a broader sense. This interdisciplinary way of thinking is where I have found my passions to reside, inspired by Zach’s ruminations on activism amid a place of such intellectual vitality ; I know this is, not only where complex solutions to the world's problems reside, but where my future does too.
Common App Essay Example #19: Carioca Dance
Watching my coach demonstrate the drill, it seemed so simple. But when I tried to do the Carioca drill (it sounds like “karaoke”, but doesn’t involve wailing into a microphone - it’s more like shuffling sideways while doing the Irish jig) , everything fell apart.
Left foot back, right foot in front, left foot... where does it go again? Too late, I realized - I tripped over my feet and fell flat on my face as my teammates started laughing. “Saad, let’s see you dance again!” my teammate called out to me as we got ready to repeat the drill on the way back.
Everyone grinned and watched in anticipation. I swallowed my pride and tried to Carioca in the other direction and stumbled yet again, as my teammates continued to laugh. “There’s no way I’m going to be able to do this drill”, I thought to myself.
As the practices wore on, the drill changed. Instead of being called Cariocas, the drills were now named after me - “Saads”. Pretty ironic, right? At the start of every practice, I would try the Carioca like everybody else and miserably fail. I would stumble, or trip, or, worse, I would end up doing a full frontal.
In order to avoid embarrassment, I began doing the drills as fast as possible. My “diving in head first” approach (literally and figuratively) definitely wasn’t working. Then at the start of the new season, I tried something different. As everyone quickly did the Carioca across the field, I slowly put each foot in front of the next. It was painstakingly slow, and everyone laughed as I practically crawled across the field. I began doing this every practice. It was a painful process - everyone laughed day after day as I tried to slowly work on perfecting Cariocas. With each practice, I got better. I gradually began stumbling over my own feet less. Until one day, I was doing them at full speed.
I’ve become more flexible and quicker on my feet now that I can do Cariocas and It was like the pattern of the Cariocas, but instead of my feet, it was my mouth that made me afraid I would look clumsy. Like the Cariocas, avoiding or rushing through the problem wasn’t helping me. Instead, I practiced talking in front of stuffed animals, then in front of the mirror, and before I knew it, I was giving a presentation at a Future Business Leaders of America conference in front of judges who gave me great reviews.
Other places off of the lacrosse field, I found myself stumbling there also – interacting with customers at Kohl’s or with patients at the hospital. Instead of tripping over my feet with customers, now working at Kohl’s I find myself being able to connect and assist customers much better – something that seemed so easy to do, but I always tried to rush through because of my fear of embarrassment. I had become a robot programmed to ask how someone's day was , instead of actually engaging and meeting new, interesting, complex people.
Now, I can “Carioca” with them , as well as all of the patients at the hospital I volunteer at. I’ve stopped tripping over my own feet, and it’s led to me not being afraid to connect and interact with patients and customers or present in front of large crowds. Life is just one long Carioca – you might stumble at first, but if you keep pushing, the right feet will find themselves in the right place.
- Conversational Tone Having a natural-sounding style of writing can be a great way of conveying personality. This student does a fantastic job of writing as they'd speak, which lets admissions officers create a clear "image" of who you are in their head. By writing naturally and not robotically, you can create a "voice" and add character to your essay.
- Central Theme and Metaphor This student chooses a unique activity, the Carioca drill, as their main topic. By choosing a "theme" like this, it allows you to easily and naturally talk about other activities too, without seeming like you're simply listing activities. This student uses the Carioca as a metaphor for overcoming difficulties and relates it to their other activities and academics—public speaking and their job experience.
- Uses Humor and Humility Showing a sense of humor can indicate wit, which not only makes you seem more likeable, but also conveys self-awareness. By not always taking yourself 100% seriously, you can be more relatable to the reader. This student acknowledges their struggles in conjunction with using humor ("the drills were not named after me—'Saads'"), which shows a recognition that they have room to improve, while not being overly self-critical.
Common App Essay Example #20: Chinese Language
A few weeks before freshman year of high school, I stood and stared wide eyed in front of the fortress that is Lincoln. I was there on a mission. Today, I would choose the language I’d take for the next four years.
The list of languages that Lincoln offered startled me. “There’s so many,” I thought, “Latin, Spanish, Chinese, and French.”
About an hour prior, my mom told me, “You need to take Spanish! You could do so much with it.” A couple days before that, multitudes of people advised me that I would regret taking anything other than Spanish.
There’s nothing wrong with Spanish, but I didn’t have a hunger for it. It didn’t seem appetizing. At first glance, I knew what I wanted. I wanted Chinese, and it was mine the moment I laid eyes on it.
I excelled in Chinese class. I passed every test with flying colors. I remembered Chinese characters like they were the names of my best friends. I could converse. Chinese attached itself to every part of my life. I translated anything I could get my hands on, like magazines and menus. It even infiltrated my dreams. I dreamt of radicals and the past life of every character. The only thing I had to do now was visit China.
China was like a far off wish, though. Until it wasn’t. A trip to China was in our school’s future. My mom couldn’t pay for a trip, though. She can’t work because of her disabilities, and I have three other siblings as well as a nephew all in one house. But I didn’t let that dissuade me, because China was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I wasn’t going to let slip away. I started a GoFundMe page, did other fundraisers, and asked for personal donations until I finally reached the whopping total of $ 5,500 . That money covered a passport, visa, plane ticket, and a 9-day guided educational tour as well as extra spending money.
As soon as I stepped off the plane, and set my eyes upon the beautiful city of Shanghai, I fell in love. In that moment, I had an epiphany. China was made for me, and I wanted to give it all my first; first job and first apartment.
Everywhere I looked there were people who spoke the language I loved, Mandarin, so I did what any rational person would do. I made conversation. I talked to moms, kids, seniors, middle schoolers, high schoolers, store clerks, food vendors, and grocery attendants. The list could go on.
Being able to talk with people who had a completely different background than I did astounded me. Some of us had nothing in common but this wonderful language. I shared stories and personal views with so many people I didn’t know, and in return I got innumerable ones from them. The Chinese gave me a piece of their culture and accepted me with open arms. There were so many things in the world that I had never experienced, but these people had . Their stories would be the ones I’d share with my children and grandchildren.
This trip helped me realized how I’m just one person--one small speck--in this world. There is so much more to learn and experience. My trip to China is the reason I want to teach English abroad. The connections I made were because I was able to communicate. Having a second or third language at your disposal makes you an asset. Whole new cultures are open to you. I want kids and adults to be able to make lifelong connections just as I did when I was in China.
“Junzi zhi xin bù sheng qí xiao, ér qìliàng hángài yish.” (Géyán lián bì) is a Chinese proverb that reminds us that we should not act for our own selfish desires, but rather try to serve the greater good.
- Unique Metaphors Using creative metaphors can be an effective way of conveying ideas. In this essay, the metaphor of "Chinese characters...were the names of my best friends" tells a lot about this student's relationship with the language. When coming up with metaphors, a good rule of thumb is: if you've heard it before, don't use it. Only use metaphors that are specific, make sense for what you're trying to say, and are highly unique.
- Exemplifies Their Points Whenever you "tell" something, you should try and back it up with anecdotes, examples, or experiences. Instead of saying that "I made conversation," this student exemplifies it by listing who they talked to. Showing is always going to be more compelling than telling because it allows the reader to come to the conclusion on their own, which makes them believe it much stronger. Use specific, tangible examples to back up your points and convince the reader of what you're saying.
- Lacks Deep Reflection Although this essay has reflections, they tend to be more surface-level, rather than unique and compelling. Admissions officers have read thousands of application essays and are familiar with most of the ideas students write about. To stand out, you'll need to dive deeper into your ideas. To do this, keep asking yourself questions whenever you have an interesting idea. Ask "Why" and "How" repeatedly until you reach something that is unique, specific to you, and super interesting.
- Contrived Conclusion Avoid writing a conclusion that only "sounds nice," but lacks real meaning. Often times, students write conclusions that go full circle, or have an interesting quote, but they still don't connect to the main idea of the essay. Your conclusion should be your strongest, most interesting idea. It should say something new: a new perspective, a new takeaway, a new aspect of your main point. End your essay strongly by staying on topic, but taking your idea one step further to the deepest it can go.
Common App Essay Example #21: Kiki's Delivery Service
Common App Prompt #6: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? (250-650 words)
I spent much of my childhood watching movies. I became absolutely engrossed in many different films, TV shows, and animations. From the movie theatres to the TV, I spent my hours enjoying the beauty of visual media. One place that was special to me was the car. My parents purchased a special screen that could be mounted on the back of the headrest, so that I could watch movies on trips. This benefited both parties, as I was occupied, and they had peace. Looking back, I realize this screen played a crucial role in my childhood. It was an integral part of many journeys. I remember taking a drive to Washington D.C, with my visiting relatives from Poland, and spending my time with my eyes on the screen. I remember packing up my possessions and moving to my current home from Queens, watching my cartoons the whole time. I can comfortably say that watching movies in the car has been an familiar anchor during times of change in my life.
I used to watch many different cartoons, nature documentaries, and other products in the car, yet there has been one movie that I have rewatched constantly. It is called “Kiki’s Delivery Service” by Hayao Miyazaki. My parents picked it up at a garage sale one day, and I fell in love. The style of the animations were beautiful, and the captivating story of a thirteen year old witch leaving home really appealed to me. To be honest, the initial times I watched it, I didn’t fully understand the story but the magic and beauty just made me happy. Then, the more I watched it, I began to see that it was more about independence, including the need to get away from home and establish yourself as your own person. This mirrors how I felt during that period of my life,with mehaving a little rebellious streak; I didn’t agree with my parents on certain topics. That is not the end of the story though. As the years passed, and I watched it a couple more times, although with less frequency than before, my view of this movie evolved yet again.
Instead of solely thinking about the need for independence, I began to think the movie was more about the balance of independence and reliance. In the movie, the girl finds herself struggling until she begins to accept help from others. Looking back, this also follows my own philosophy during this time. As I began to mature, I began to realize the value of family, and accept all the help I can get from them. I appreciate all the hard work they had done for me, and I recognize their experience in life and take advantage of it. I passed through my rebellious phase, and this reflected in my analysis of the movie. I believe that this is common, and if I look through the rest of my life I am sure I would find other similar examples of my thoughts evolving based on the stage in my life. This movie is one of the most important to me throughout my life.
Common App Essay Example #22: Museum of Life
Stepping inside the converted railway station, I am transported to another world. Amidst gorgeous Beaux-Arts architecture, statues pose on pedestals, and thousands of paintings line the adjacent rooms. The Musée d’Orsay is one of the most magical museums on Earth. I am immediately drawn to the impressionist exhibits to explore the land of Degas and Monet. Dancers stand in rehearsal. Water lilies bask in a pond. The sun sets on Notre Dame. The Little Dancer sculpture I have always dreamed of seeing stands in its glass case. I am overwhelmed with beauty, moments in time painted into immortality and hung up on the wall. Close enough to marvel at the brush strokes taken by the artists who painted my favorite famous works of art in existence , I am seeing dreams that have come to fruition, paintings that have impacted the world with their presence.
A naturalistic observation at an art museum may not sound like it would be effective , but art museums are the best place to observe and learn about a person. My exploration of one gives insight into my aptitude for working in the medical field.
Some people cannot stand art museums. They find no value in looking at pictures on a wall for hours and trying to interpret their meaning. These people prefer more concrete ideas in life rather than the abstract and do not enjoy the unknown or the unsolved. Others go to say that they went. They simply take a picture with the most famous work in the museum and call it a day. Some are lucky enough to appreciate the art’s meaning , but many of these people are most concerned with their appearance and others' opinions on it. Finally, some spend hours absorbing the stories, culture, and beauty that hang on the walls.
I take time interpreting new ideas and perspectives and appreciating the history that lies before me. This reflects my open-mindedness, my thirst for knowledge, and simply my appreciation for art. I am proud to call myself one of the creatives of the world : an imaginative, curious soul.
If people were to watch me experience the art museum, they would see me pass half of the exhibits to get to the ones I am truly enamored by, where I can feel my heart beating out of my chest and the gears of my brain going into overload to take in all of the history and frozen moments in time that surround me. I carefully examine and stop to ponder at the works that truly strike me, and simply take a glance at others. If they were to attempt to create a summary of me based on their observations, I am sure they would be perplexed .
I always gravitate towards what matters most to me, the impressionist exhibits of life: my passions, the people I love, and discovering new things at every chance I get. I live to collect moments, just as the moments in paintings hang on the wall for everyone to see for themself. I enjoy when topics are up for interpretation but find comfort in knowing the fundamentals and studying what is already known. Above all, I want to help others and bring smiles to their faces. I would love to see my impact on the world through the happiness of those I touch around me. This is why pursuing medicine is the perfect future for me.
Like solving a puzzle from the inside-out to give patients a fresh canvas, it is a scientific art . I want to carry my love for art into my practice of medicine, to find creative ways to interpret issues that most would say are unsolvable . My painting, my impact on the world, will be creating those blank canvases for others to continue to paint on, working to give others their own chance to walk through the art museum we call life.
- Descriptive Imagery Using visuals can be a way to add interesting moments to your essay. Avoid being overly descriptive, however, as it can be distracting from your main point. When drafting, start by focusing on your ideas (your reflections and takeaways). Once you have a rough draft, then you can consider ways to incorporate imagery that can add character and flavor to your essay.
- Off-Putting Tone Admissions officers are people, just like you, and therefore are drawn to personalities that exhibit positive qualities. Some of the most important qualities to portray are: humility, curiosity, thoughtfulness, and passion. In this essay, there are several moments that could be interpreted as potentially self-centered or arrogant. Avoid trying to make yourself out to be "better" or "greater" than other people. Instead, focus on having unique and interesting ideas first, and this will show you as a likeable, insightful person. Although this is a "personal" statement, you should also avoid over using "I" in your essay. When you have lots of "I" sentences, it starts to feel somewhat ego-centric, rather than humble and interested in something greater than you.
- Lacks Meaningful Reflection This essay does a lot of "telling" about the author's character. Instead, you want to provide evidence—through examples, anecdotes, and moments—that allow the reader to come to their own conclusions about who you are. Avoid surface-level takeaways like "I am open-minded and have a thirst for knowledge." These types of statements are meaningless because anyone can write them. Instead, focus on backing up your points by "showing," and then reflect genuinely and deeply on those topics.
- Unclear Connection To Area of Study This essay is focused on art museums and tries to tie in a connection to studying medicine. However, because this connection is very brief and not elaborated, the connection seems weak. To connect to your area of study when writing about a different topic, try reflecting on your topic first. Go deep into interesting ideas by asking "How" and "Why" questions. Then, take those ideas and broaden them. Think of ways they could differ or parallel your desired area of study. The best connections between a topic (such as an extracurricular) and your area of study (i.e. your major) is through having interesting ideas.
Common App Essay Example #23: French Horn
Holton is my best friend. He may be a bit worn down, but he is an old soul with a story to tell. With him, I have enjoyed Russian folklore, romantic escapades, and renowned classics. With him, I have succeeded and failed. At times, we have had arguments, but when I look back on our time together, it’s the magical moments that resound. When I moved schools, I lost contact with many of my old friends, but I never lost Holton.
At first, I was a bit hesitant about our relationship, but my teacher advised me that Holton and I would grow into great friends if we just gave each other a chance. How could I say no? Since then, I have never looked back. We have taken trips to New York City every weekend, with each passing day bringing a new adventure. Eventually, people began to express worry that all the time we spent together would hinder my academics and hold me back from other pursuits; I didn’t care. Nothing could break our bond.
Sometimes I reminisce about the day I first met Holton. The old adage goes, gold is first and silver is second. With Holton, this notion was turned upside down. When I walked into the shop, it was all gold. It was as if King Midas had touched everything in the store. However, something out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. Was that a silver among the golds? He is not your standard image of perfection without that golden shine. However, I knew not to judge anything at face value but rather by the story that it tells; it was this silver horn that possessed the hauntingly golden sound.
Holton is my french horn. Not a shiny new one, but one that has travelled far and experienced much. He has been with me under the bright lights of Lincoln Center and Peter Jay Sharp Theater, and has always given my right arm a good workout as I carry him from class to class, rehearsal to rehearsal, performance to performance.
Through Holton, I have experienced failure. My failed New Jersey Youth Symphony audition as a sixth grader fueled my motivation to practice harder. I still remember my dried lips, cracked notes, and missed entrances. Such failures invariably led to success. Acceptance into the Juilliard Pre-College program will always be one of my happiest memories. However, no success comes without sacrifice. In my early childhood, I participated in every activity that I liked. Basketball, choir, piano...if I enjoyed it, I did it. Mandatory all-day attendance every Saturday at Juilliard with my friend Holton in company, meant I had to give up some other things that I loved. I could no longer be a part of the New Jersey Youth Chorus, the beloved choir in which I had sung for seven years. I would not be able to try out for freshman basketball, one of my high school goals. I would not be able to participate on the debate team in earnest, something that I fell in love in my freshman year. But Holton has been worth these sacrifices and more.
The journey I am experiencing with him more than makes up for anything else I had to give up, and I cannot wait to continue our journey in my college years.
Soon, my high school experience will be over, and as I bid adieu to the friendly walls of [School] , I will hit the road to wherever this application process takes me. Among all the suitcases in the trunk will be a black, worn-down horn case; inside will be Holton, ready for more adventures. Many college-bound seniors wish for good roommates. I know that in Holton I will have, at the very least, one great one. He will always hold a special place in my life and in my heart as my first prize silver.
- Unique Topic and Structure This student chose the creative idea of personifying their French horn as their central theme. Using this personification, they are able to write about a multitude of moments while making them all feel connected. This unique approach also makes for a more engaging essay, as it is not overly straightforward and generic.
- Connects to Accomplishments It can be challenging to reference your achievements without seeming boastful or coming across too plainly. This student manages to write about their successes ("acceptance into the Julliard Pre-College program") by using them as moments part of a broader story. The focus isn't necessarily on the accomplishments themselves, but the role they play in this relationship with their instrument. By connecting more subtly like this, it shows humility. Often, "diminishing" your achievements will actually make them stand out more, because it shows you're focused on the greater meaning behind them, rather than just "what you did."
- Shows, Not Tells This student does a good job of exemplifying each of their ideas. Rather than just saying "I experienced failure," they show it through imagery ("dried lips, cracked notes, and missed entrances"). Similarly, with their idea "no success comes without sacrifice," they exemplify it using examples of sacrifice. Always try to back up your points using examples, because showing is much more convincing than telling. Anyone can "tell" things, but showing requires proof.
- Stronger Conclusion This essay has a decent conclusion, but it could be stronger by adding nuance to their main idea or connecting to the beginning with a new perspective. Rather than repeating what you've established previously, make sure your conclusion has a different "angle" or new aspect. This can be connecting your main idea to more universal values, showing how you now view something differently, or emphasizing a particular aspect of your main idea that was earlier introduced.
Common App Essay Example #24: Dear My Younger Self
Common App Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. (250-650 words)
Younger Anna,
My advice is not scientifically-proven, mother-tested, or kid-approved. However, I think it will make your life easier. But take this advice — as anyone would from a 17 year old — with a grain of salt. It is only as reliable as my own experiences. So here it is:
- Speak Portuguese. It’s frustrating to know that I lost such a valuable skill because I deemed it too “embarrassing” to use in front of my kindergarten classmates. Fluency in another language is not only uncommon, but it also would have allowed you to communicate with your Brazilian relatives.
- Don’t live your life as if you're constantly being watched and criticized. Chances are, no one is even paying attention to you.
- Experiment with your interests early. Now is the perfect time to try different interests and see which ones you like. Take up something that pushes you out of your comfort zone: bagpipes, rock climbing, musical theater, literally anything. Eventually, you will find something you love.
- Take comfort in the fact that no matter what obstacle you encounter, it’s happened to everyone. You’re not the first person to get a 70 on your paper, trip in public, or rip your pants. Although, try to keep the pants-ripping to minimum.
- You don’t need to be exactly like your father. I am a spitting image of him. I may have inherited his intelligence, but that came with his ego as well. You can learn just as much from his mistakes as his achievements.
- Wear your retainer.
- Empathy makes your life easier. People who are inexplicably cruel are suffering just as much as the recipients of their abuse. Understanding this makes your interactions with these people less painful.
- Skip the “I want to be an anesthesiologist” phase — you don’t.
- Comparing yourself to your classmates is counterproductive. Sometimes you will forge ahead, other times you will lag behind. But ultimately, you’re only racing yourself.
- Your intelligence is not defined by your grades and test scores.
- I am passive aggressive when I lack the confidence to express something that upsets me. Learn to communicate effectively. It saves you from the endless “what if” contemplations that keep you awake at night. If you are successful, tell me how.
- Speak up to your stepmom.
- Try not to identify too strongly with material items. I ran into this issue when my hair defined me: friends often stated that they just couldn’t imagine me without my large and poofy hair. When it started falling out after a stressful period, I had to reestablish the image my hair had made.
- Always eat the cake. I couldn't tell you how many times I’ve turned away a slice of cake, only to regret it the next day. If you really can’t commit, do yourself a favor and take a slice home with you.
- Recognize and appreciate your privilege. There is no limit to the opportunities you have and that amazes me.
- Cherish your grandparents.
- Forgive your mother. Harboring resentment hurts you just as much as her. All the time I spent being angry at her could’ve been spent discovering her strengths.
- Cut off worried thoughts with “what if things work out?” In periods of change, acknowledge the fact that things may go according to plan. This isn’t an ignorant overlook of reality. Anticipate that this change will be bring some good with it.
- Accept inevitable truths: You will get older. Your friends will come and go. You will struggle and triumph. You will encounter heartache, joy, and everything in between. This list will continue to grow.
- Creative Structure This essay chose a unique structure in the form of a letter addressed to themselves with a list of lessons they've learned. This structure is unique, and also allows the student to explore a variety of topics and ideas while making them all feel connected. It is tricky to not seem "gimmicky" when choosing a creative structure like this, but the key is to make your essay well thought-out. Show that you've put effort into reflecting deeply, and that you aren't choosing a unique structure just to stand out.
- Focuses On Reflection This essay is highly focused on lessons they've learned, which shows a deep level of reflection. Your ideas and takeaways from life experience are ultimately most compelling to admissions officers, and this essay succeeds because it is focused almost entirely on those reflections. This student also manages to incorporate anecdotes and mini stories where appropriate, which makes their reflections more memorable by being tangible.
- Humble And Self-Aware Attitude Showing humility and self-awareness are two highly attractive traits in college admissions. Being able to recognize your own flaws and strengths, while not making yourself out to be more than what you are, shows that you are mature and thoughtful. Avoid trying to "boost yourself up" by exaggerating your accomplishments or over-emphasizing your strengths. Instead, let your ideas speak for themselves, and by focusing on genuine, meaningful ideas, you'll convey a persona that is both humble and insightful.
- Ideas Spread Thin The drawback of having a structure like this, where lots of different ideas are examined, is that no one idea is examined in-depth. As a result, some ideas (such as "intelligence is not defined by your grades") come across as trite and overused. In general, avoid touching on lots of ideas while being surface-level. Instead, it's almost always better to choose a handful (or even just one main idea) and go as in-depth as possible by continually asking probing questions—"How" and "Why"—that force yourself to think deeper and be more critical. Having depth of ideas shows inquisitiveness, thoughtfulness, and ultimately are more interesting because they are ideas that only you could have written.
Common App Essay Example #25: Monopoly
Sliding the scottie dog across “Go!” past Boardwalk and Park Place , I immediately exhale. I am safe for another round; far more importantly, though, my younger brothers have not surpassed me.
After passing by the weekend of “GO,” I begin the next lap around the board of challenge, success, and strategy. My next turn stops me at a chance card that reads: “Psychology project, physics assignment, and precalc test tomorrow. You will not be home from riding until 10 PM, but be at school at 6:30 a.m. for an NHS meeting. Go.” Solving for f’(x) atop a tack trunk in between riding my horses, Cinda and Coco, and writing about Milgram’s prison experiment by the light of my phone on the way back home, I’ve managed to make it through this round, but not before falling asleep, pencil in hand.
My next turn is greeted with a bit more docility as I land on my brother’s property, and begrudgingly pay my rent of driving him to and from lacrosse practice. I return home to finish updating a client’s website, and complete my homework before re-organizing my closet to be sorted chromatically (I suppose I am the slightest bit type A...) . Later, I pass out while on FaceTime with my bestfriend, Stephen, only to have a nightmare filled unsolvable physics problems: which way does the pulley go?! The world may never know!
However, my next roll is not as kind: I land on the tile that reads “GO TO JAIL!” The night before the most important math test of the year, I discover that my dad, with whom I have a very distant relationship, has become homeless. Questioning what I was doing as I continued to study—and consuming an entire bag of jolly ranchers in the process—I remind myself that I cannot control what others around me choose to do. With luck on my side and doubles on the first role, I take the test the next day to discover I have studied all of the right problems and receive a 98%. I am still in the game for another turn.
Feeling a bit weary from my last roll of the dice, I cross my fingers with the “FREE PARKING” square in sight. As luck has it, I smoothly glide past the hotels to have my best horse show yet- earning multiple wins against stiff competition and gaining points to qualify for five different national finals this year.
The game of Monopoly runs parallel to my life in many ways. It is a game of strategy and precision, with a hint of luck and a tremendous amount of challenge. These factors result in a game filled with tests and questions around every corner, keeping me on my toes. Through good and bad “turns,” I have learned when to multitask and when to focus, when to take risks and when to play it safe, when to have a poker face and when to ask for help. Most importantly, I know that in moments of doubt or confusion, I can rise to the occasion. Whether I am faced with a befuddling essay prompt, a difficult course in the horse show ring, or even unfortunate decisions by people in my life, I know I can always attack any situation with confidence and vigor.
As I embark on my next trip around the board, I reflect on the past properties I have purchased, taxes I have paid, and hotels I have built. Through the rounds I have played thus far, I learned how to deal with whatever numbers I roll and spaces I land on, whether that be “GO TO JAIL” or “FREE PARKING”. I pick up the chance card from my last turn with confidence: “Take what comes and enjoy the ride” I smile. I am ready.
- Unique Metaphor This essay uses the board game "Monopoly" as a metaphor for their life. By using a metaphor as your main topic, you can connect to different ideas and activities in a cohesive way. However, make sure the metaphor isn't chosen arbitrarily. In this essay, it isn't completely clear why Monopoly is an apt metaphor for their life, because the specific qualities that make Monopoly unique aren't explained or elaborated. Lots of games require "strategy and precision, with a hint of luck and a tremendous amount of challenge," so it'd be better to focus on the unique aspects of the game to make a more clear connection. For example, moving around the board in a "repetitive" fashion, but each time you go around with a different perspective. When choosing a metaphor, first make sure that it is fitting for what you're trying to describe.
- Connects to Activities Naturally You want to avoid listing your activities or referencing them without a clear connection to something greater. Since you have an activities list already, referencing your activities in your essay should have a specific purpose, rather than just emphasizing your achievements. In this essay, the student connects their activities by connecting them to a specific idea: how each activity is like a mini challenge that they must encounter to progress in life. Make sure your activities connect to something specifically: an idea, a value, an aspect of your character.
- Surface-Level Takeaways This essay lacks depth in their reflections by not delving deeply into their main takeaways. In this essay, the main "idea" is that they've learned to be persistent with whatever comes their way. This idea could be a good starting point, but on its own is too generic and not unique enough. Your idea should be deep and specific, meaning that it should be something only you could have written about. If your takeaway could be used in another student's essay without much modification, chances are it is a surface-level takeaway and you want to go more in-depth. To go in-depth, keep asking probing questions like "How" and "Why" or try making more abstract connections between topics.
- Tells, Not Shows In the final two paragraphs, this essay does a lot of "telling" about the lessons they've learned. They write "I know that in moments of doubt...I can rise to the occasion." Although this could be interesting, it would be far more effective if this idea is shown through anecdotes or experiences. The previous examples in the essay don't "show" this idea. When drafting, take your ideas and think of ways you can represent them without having to state them outright. By showing your points, you will create a more engaging and convincing essay because you'll allow the reader to come to the conclusion themselves, rather than having to believe what you've told them.
With these 25 Common App essay examples, you can get inspired and improve your own personal statement.
If you want to get accepted into selective colleges this year, your Common App essays needs to be its best possible.
What makes a good Common App essay isn't easy to define. There aren't any rules or steps.
But using these samples from real students, you can understand what it takes to write an outstanding personal statement .
Let me know, which Common App essay did you think was the best?
You May Also Like:

Ultimate List of College Essay Examples (2023)

20 Personal Statement Examples That Stand Out + Why They Work

12 Best Stanford Supplemental Essays That Worked 2023

12 UNC Chapel Hill Essays That Worked (2023)
Leave a reply
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *
© 2018- 2023 Essays That Worked. All rights reserved.
Registration on or use of this site constitutes acceptance of our Terms and Conditions , Privacy Policy , and Cookie Policy .
- College Application
6 Brown University Supplemental Essay Examples for

Reviewing Brown University supplemental essay examples can be very helpful for students who are getting ready to write their own college supplemental essays . Whether you are planning on applying to Brown University - one of the most selective schools in the United States, or a different institution altogether, you will definitely be inspired by the prompts that brown uses for its essays.
If you want to get into a top college, having a high GPA and a few extracurricular activities on your high school resume is no longer enough. College admissions have gotten more competitive, and the process has become more holistic. This means that if you want to stand out, you must submit compelling essays that show the admissions committee why you should be accepted.
Reviewing different college essay examples can help you do that. So, without much further ado, let's take a look at these six Brown supplementary essay examples below.
Note : If you want us to help you with your applications, interviews and/or standardized tests, book a free strategy call . If you are a university, business, or student organization representative and want to partner with us, visit our partnerships page .
Article Contents 9 min read
Brown supplemental essay example #1.
Brown’s Open Curriculum allows students to explore broadly while also diving deeply into their academic pursuits. Tell us about any academic interests that excite you, and how you might use the Open Curriculum to pursue them while also embracing topics with which you are unfamiliar. (200-250 words)
Books have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. My parents read to me at least once every day when I was a child, and in middle school, when my siblings wanted to have fun with their friends instead of their little sister, they kept me busy with books. So, it didn't surprise anyone in my family when I told them that I wanted to become a literature teacher one day.
My favorite thing about books is the fact that they allow you to travel to distant lands and discover new worlds from the comfort of your living room. I remember very clearly the first time that I read So long a letter and started imagining what it would be like to walk the streets of Dakar in Senegal. My curiosity was piqued from that moment, and I developed an interest in traveling and discovering new cultures.
Isaac Asimov once said that science can amuse and fascinate us all, but it is engineering that changes the world.
I have been fascinated by the laws of physics and chemistry my entire life. I was that annoying child that could not simply enjoy toys for what they were; I needed to know how they functioned the way they did. I remember getting in trouble for taking apart the brand new toy car that my grandma gave me for my birthday because I wanted to understand how it was running if it didn't need gas and didn't need to be charged.
Brown’s culture fosters a community in which students challenge the ideas of others and have their ideas challenged in return, promoting a deeper and clearer understanding of the complex issues confronting society. This active engagement in dialogue is as present outside the classroom as it is in academic spaces. Tell us about a time you were challenged by a perspective that differed from your own. How did you respond? (200-250 words).
"They're basically fried caterpillars," my friend Suzanne said this casually as she put a spoonful of fried insects on her plate. All the blood had drained from my face, and I was trying my very best not to be rude by insulting something that was obviously a part of her culture. I obviously wasn't doing a good job because she started laughing at me a minute later.
I assumed that her laughter meant that she had been joking and told her that no one actually ate insects. It turns out that I was wrong, but she was not offended by my remark. Instead, she told me that she'd heard many people say that but that the reality is that in many cultures outside of the US, people eat many different insects.
That evening when I got home, I researched it and found that Suzanne was right. In Mexico, it is common to use worm salt for a specific food. In Congo, where my friend Suzanne is from, fried caterpillars are a delicacy often enjoyed with rice and vegetable stew.
Bugs remain a traditional food in many cultures across Africa, Asia, and Latin America. Learning this about the little creatures made me think about them differently, and the next time I was at Suzanne's, I did not see an insect on her plate; I saw food in the same way that I'd see chicken or beef.
Eventually, I tried some of it, and it was pretty delicious . (248 words)
I was born and raised in New Jersey, but my parents are from Nigeria. They both moved to the United States in their twenties, and although they have lived here longer than in Nigeria, they are still very traditional. This means that my siblings and I grew up in a bicultural household where English and Yoruba are spoken simultaneously, and Pizza is just as common as jollof rice for dinner.
In addition to the fact that my parents are traditional, the community I grew up in is full of immigrants who have a story that is quite similar to mine. Only once I moved to Connecticut for boarding school did I realize how different my upbringing was from other American children.
I remember being asked to stay after class at the end of the first week because my teacher worried that I did not participate in class. She thought that I was shy or nervous because I didn't shout out my answers in class when she asked questions. I had been raised not to shout, especially at an elder. So, I was very confused by the fact that she wanted me to.
I was so confused that I actually researched it online, thinking it was maybe a practice specific to this boarding school. That is how I started learning about different cultures and how they affect our interactions. That experience taught me to always pay attention to the way people communicate and respect cultural differences. (250 words)
Brown is one of the many schools that use common app. Check out this video to learn more about the common app essay:
Brown supplemental essay example #5
Brown students care deeply about their work and the world around them. Students find contentment, satisfaction, and meaning in daily interactions and major discoveries. Whether big or small, mundane, or spectacular, tell us about something that brings you joy. (200-250 words)
Butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla, flour, and if you want to get fancy, a little baking soda, corn starch, and chocolate chips. Those are the ingredients that I need to create magic, or as most people call it - chocolate chip cookies. I first learned how to make them on a Sunday afternoon with my mom. I remember making a mess in the kitchen and having a stomachache because I ate too much cookie dough. Most of all, I remember that incredible feeling that I had when my siblings and I sat around the kitchen island and took our first bites.
The art of baking has had a special place in my heart since then. I have learned how to use other ingredients to create different forms of magic, from cakes and cake pops to bread and loaves, cupcakes, and muffins, and so much more. I enjoy the finished products, of course, but my favorite part is the process of baking itself. Baking reminds me of art and my other passion, mathematics because it is all about numbers, precision, and creativity. I enjoy experimenting with different ingredients or different amounts of the same ingredients to create various baked goods that bring joy to the people around me and myself.
I can spend hours baking because it brings me comfort, and I love the fact that it gives me a chance to share a little slice of happiness with the people around me. (241 words)
Committing to a future career as a physician while in high school requires careful consideration and self-reflection. What values and experiences have led you to believe that becoming a doctor in medicine is the right fit for you? (250-word limit)
I saw my dead mother's body when I was twelve years old. She was lying utterly motionless in her casket as friends, family members, colleagues, and strangers passed by and touched her cold hands or kissed her forehead. I remember thinking that she would have hated that. I kept waiting for her to get up and tell all these people that she didn't know where their hands had been, but that never happened.
The sadness and confusion I felt that day are the reason I first became interested in medicine. I remember asking so many people to tell me what had happened to my mother, and my cousin Bobby had to explain to me what malaria is.
As soon as I got home, I went to google and started researching. I wanted to understand what caused malaria and how I could ensure it didn't kill someone else's mother. In researching malaria and how to care for it, I learned how important it is to have access to good healthcare.
I wanted to join the efforts of those who strive to provide that healthcare every day, and the more I learn about medicine, the more I want to pursue it as a career. My love for science, puzzle-solving skills, and desire to help people make medicine the perfect fit for me. Furthermore, as a naturally curious person, the idea of a profession where you never stop learning especially appeals to me. (240 words)
Want to know what the key to a great personal statement is? Check out this video:
Conclusion
Now that you know what a Brown supplemental essay should look like, you can start working on your own essay.
If you are unsure how to write a college essay , we suggest you start by brainstorming. Research the school you will be applying to and think back to your experiences and interests so that you can connect the traits and qualities that the school cares about with your values, strengths, and experiences. For example, you may have noticed that a love for learning and open-mindedness are two qualities that keep coming up in the essays that you just read, and that is because those are both valued by Brown.
You can learn more about the school you want to apply to by spending time on their website. Pay attention to their mission statement and the recurring themes on different pages on their website. Those are usually the things the school values and wants to see in its students.
After brainstorming, you can outline your essay and start writing. Remember to use specific examples and anecdotes to humanize your essay and make it more memorable. If you want to maximize your chances of success, you can work with a college essay advisor during this process. You can also write your initial essay and then reach out to a college essay review service for assistance.
Either way, the key is to make sure that you have reviewed, edited, and proofread your essay enough times to ensure that there are no grammatical or spelling mistakes. Remember that your college essays play a significant role in the admission committee's decision, so you want to make sure that you submit supplemental essays that are as memorable as they are compelling.
Brown is one of the most selective universities in the country, with an acceptance rate that is lower than 10%. To get in, you will need to submit a strong application and ace the admission interview if invited for one.
Yes, Brown University is one of the eight schools in the Ivy League.
Brown asks most first-year applicants to write three supplemental essays. Students applying to the eight-year Program in Liberal Medical Education (PLME) or the five-year Brown-Rhode Island School of Design Dual Degree Program (BRDD) have to write additional program-specific essays as well.
You can make your supplemental essays stand out by having a strong opening statement, using specific examples or short anecdotes in your story, and making sure your essay reflects the traits that Brown values.
Brown provides prompts or questions for you to answer in your essay. Follow those instructions and connect your response to your suitability for Brown.
While Brown does not have a minimum GPA requirement, the average GPA of the recently admitted first-year class is 3.94. This means that you should aim for a similar or higher GPA if you want to be a competitive applicant.
Brown looks for students with a strong academic background who are open-minded, community-driven, and eager to learn.
You should start your essay with a memorable statement such as a quote, a fun fact, or something funny. Go back to the examples above and pay attention to the opening lines for some inspiration.
Want more free tips? Subscribe to our channels for more free and useful content!
Apple Podcasts
Have a question? Ask our admissions experts below and we'll answer your questions!
Anything we didn't cover? Have a question? Ask below or share your comments!
Recommended Articles
College Essay Examples: The Best 32 Examples in
What Is the Easiest Ivy League School To Get Into in ?
Canadian Universities Ranking in
College Recommendation Letter Samples & Writing Guide
Get Started Now
Talk to one of our admissions experts
Our site uses cookies. By using our website, you agree with our cookie policy .
FREE Training Webinar:
How to make your college applications stand out, (and avoid the top 5 mistakes that get most rejected).
Time Sensitive. Limited Spots Available:
We guarantee acceptance to a top college or university or we don't get paid.
Swipe up to see a great offer!
No products in the cart.

Successful Common App Essays
Common app essays →, harvard essays →, mit essays →, princeton essays →, stanford essays →, yale essays →, common app essay | katie.
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds…...
Common App Essay: Wooden Pulpits and Iron Podiums
#7: Open-Ended Prompt Each time I dance I am becoming more of who I am. That is why I adore dance. It is one of…...
Common App Essay: A meaningful background, identity, interest, or talent | Grace
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you,…...
Common App Essay: Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure | Jessica
The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure…....
Common App Essay: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth | Lah’Nasia
Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. Thursday, May 17, 2018…....
Common App Essay | Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth | Valerie
Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. 10:00 AM – Museum…...
Report Content
Block member.
Please confirm you want to block this member.
You will no longer be able to:
- See blocked member's posts
- Mention this member in posts
- Message this member
- Add this member as a connection
Please note: This action will also remove this member from your connections and send a report to the site admin. Please allow a few minutes for this process to complete.

Your Trusted Advisors for Admissions Success
Admissions and test prep resources to help you get into your dream schools
How to Get Into Brown PLME (Sample Essays Included)
How hard is it to get into the brown program in liberal medical education learn the plme requirements and read sample plme essays.

Part 1: Introduction
Part 2: brown plme admissions requirements, part 3: applying to plme early decision vs. regular action, part 4: 2022–2023 brown plme supplemental essays, part 5: brown plme interviews and video portfolios.
Does your child dream of becoming a doctor and studying more than the standard premed fare? Are they drawn towards the long-term assurance of a BS/MD program but hesitant to give up the academic freedom of a liberal arts education? If so, Brown University’s Program in Liberal Medical Education (PLME) may be the perfect option.
PLME is an eight-year BS/MD program, meaning students simultaneously gain admission to both Brown’s undergraduate program and medical school. Unlike the majority of BS/MD programs, PLME allows its students to choose any major available at Brown, making it an attractive option for both traditional premeds and future doctors hoping to study in the humanities or arts.
In addition, as the only BS/MD program in the Ivy League, PLME is widely considered one of the best in the country, which is reflected in its extremely selective acceptance rate.
If your child hopes to gain acceptance to PLME, read on. In this guide, we’ll break down PLME’s admissions process, explain how your child can stand out in their application, and show you examples of successful secondary essays.
First, let’s go into more detail regarding PLME and why your child might want to apply.
Over 90% of our students get into one or more of their top 3 schools
Get our free 110-page guide for strategies to become the kind of applicant that selective colleges love to admit: How to Get Into America’s Elite Colleges: The Ultimate Guide
100% privacy. No spam. Ever.
Thank you! Your guide is on its way. In the meantime, please let us know how we can help you crack the college admissions code . You can also learn more about our 1-on-1 college admissions support here .
Students accepted to PLME spend four years as Brown undergraduates and then four years as MD students in Brown’s Warren Alpert Medical School . PLME is a major route of entry into Alpert Medical School; 37 percent of students who matriculated in the class of 2025 were accepted to Alpert via PLME.
Like all BS/MD programs, PLME is only worth considering if your child is 100 percent certain that they want to attend medical school. Because PLME entails an eight-year commitment right out of high school, students who aren’t completely sure of their goals would be better served by applying to traditional four-year undergraduate programs instead.
If your child does have their heart set on a BS/MD program, PLME is an excellent choice for a couple of reasons. Not only does it offer the rigor, prestige, and resources of a Brown education, it’s also distinctive among BS/MD programs for its educational philosophy.
Flexibility is a key concept in both PLME’s curriculum and Brown’s self-directed Open Curriculum , which PLME students also participate in. While many BS/MD programs require students to adhere to a traditional premed pathway by majoring in the sciences, PLME allows its students to select from any of Brown’s nearly 100 concentrations (majors). So, whether your child wants to study biomedical engineering, anthropology, or theater, they may do so while still being assured a spot in medical school.
On top of this, PLME students are spared not only the stress of medical school applications but also the pressure of studying for the MCAT, which isn’t the case in every BS/MD program.
PLME notes on their website that the goal of the program “is enrichment, not acceleration.” This is evident in how it empowers future doctors to undertake a broad liberal arts education. If this appeals to your child, they should consider applying to PLME for the unique opportunity to follow their intellectual and creative passions—without jeopardizing their chances of medical school acceptances.
PLME tuition and scholarships
Tuition for PLME undergraduate students is the same as it is for other Brown undergrads. Similarly, all medical students face the same tuition, including those who gained entrance via PLME.
For the 2022–2023 academic year, the undergraduate cost of attendance at Brown runs $84,986 per year. The first-year cost of attendance at Alpert Medical School is higher, at $98,750.
Brown has need-blind undergraduate admissions and is committed to meeting 100 percent of demonstrated financial need without student loans . Accepted students whose families earn less than $60,000 per year and have assets under $100,000 can expect to have all of their tuition covered through a combination of scholarships and grants for the duration of their undergraduate years.
Alpert Medical School has its own financial aid process and works closely with students to secure funding according to each student’s need through a combination of institutional and external sources. 50 percent of Alpert aid recipients receive institutional scholarships ; in 2018–2019, the average award was $33,730. Your child may also receive medical school financial aid in the form of loans and part-time employment.
How hard is it to get into PLME?
Let’s take a look at admissions statistics for PLME’s class of 2026:
Applicants: 3,827
Offers of admission: 84
Matriculants: 61
Acceptance rate: 2%
Admission into PLME is extremely competitive. In fact, it’s more than twice as competitive as acceptance into Brown’s general student body, already highly selective (in 2022, Brown accepted 5.4 percent of applicants, including PLME students).
This likely leaves you wondering what Brown looks for in PLME students. We’ll explain below.
Brown PLME academic requirements
Neither PLME nor Brown have strict prerequisites that prospective applicants must fulfill. That said, PLME encourages applicants to complete honors or AP coursework , if available at their high school.
In addition, Brown’s Office of College Admission suggests that all applicants complete the following high school coursework :
English: 4 years of literature and academic writing
Math: 4 years, through calculus, especially for students bound for STEM programs
Science: 3-4 years (with 2 years of lab), focusing on biology, physics, and chemistry when possible
History: 3-4 years, with both history courses and courses that focus on government, economics, and politics
Foreign language: 3-4 years of consecutive language learning
Music and art: Encouraged though not officially recommended
Brown also states that, if your child plans to major in science, engineering, or math, they should take as many advanced courses in that area as possible.
Generally speaking, Brown favors students who have pushed themselves in a specific area of interest and who have proven that they’re academically inquisitive and ready to be challenged.
Brown PLME testing requirements
PLME matriculants between 2017 and 2019 averaged the following standardized test scores:
SAT Evidence-Based Reading and Writing: 742
SAT Mathematics: 770
2022–2023 admissions to Brown are test-optional due to the hardship of COVID-19. This means that, though your child is welcome to submit SAT or ACT scores , their application won’t be penalized for not doing so and will receive full consideration either way.
However, Brown states that if your child does have a test score available, they would like to consider it and will bear in mind that applicants may not have had the chance to test more than once.
If you’re planning ahead for a future PLME application, note that Brown’s test-optional policy will be reviewed before the 2023-2024 cycle begins.
Brown PLME application requirements
PLME applicants complete the same application that traditional applicants to Brown do. The only difference is that PLME applicants must also submit three supplemental PLME-specific essays—we’ll discuss how to tackle these in a bit.
Your child’s complete PLME application will consist of the following:
Common Application
Brown supplemental essays, including three that are PLME-specific
$75 application fee or fee waiver
Forms sent from your child’s school:
Transcript, school report, and midyear school report
Counselor recommendation
Two letters of recommendation from teachers (PLME applicants must submit at least one recommendation from a science or math teacher)
First quarter/trimester grades
Optional in 2022–2023: SAT or ACT results
Optional: Supplementary materials such as music, visual art, academic papers, research, or material that highlights other accomplishment
Optional: Video portfolio (we’ll discuss this further down)
Part 3: PLME Early Decision vs. Regular Action
PLME applicants are able to apply either Early Decision or Regular Action. In order to decide which option best suits your child, it’s important to understand that a PLME application is also inherently an application to Brown. It’s not possible to apply to PLME only.
In other words, your child will complete an application to Brown in which they’ll indicate their interest in being considered for PLME. One possible outcome of this system is that your child could gain acceptance to Brown but be rejected by PLME.
That’s why applying Early Decision can be tricky. Because Early Decision at Brown is binding, if your child applies to PLME Early Decision, they must be okay with the possibility that they might end up committing to attending Brown as a traditional undergraduate rather than as a PLME student.
Early Decision applicants who are turned down by PLME but accepted to Brown are still considered for PLME at the Regular Action deadline. However, if your child would be unhappy committing to attending Brown outside of PLME, a Regular Action application would be the better choice.
(Suggested reading: Early Action vs. Early Decision: Pros and Cons and What Your Child Should Do )
2021–2022 PLME application timeline
Here are the important deadlines to keep in mind as your child applies to PLME:
Early Decision timeline
Application deadline: November 1
Video portfolio deadline: November 2
Decision notification: Mid-December
Regular Action timeline
Application deadline: January 5
Video portfolio deadline: January 6
Decision notification: March 30
Commitment deadline: May 1
In addition to a Common Application essay and three short, Brown-specific essays, your child will also need to complete three supplemental essays that address their interest in PLME. Let’s take a look at the essay prompts and some example responses.
Question 1: Committing to a future career as a physician while in high school requires careful consideration and self-reflection. What values and experiences have led you to believe that becoming a doctor in medicine is the right fit for you? (250 words)
An excellent response to this prompt will be two-pronged. Your child should discuss the experiences through which they’ve developed their interest in medicine, such as coursework, extracurriculars , shadowing , research, or relevant personal experiences. They should also take care to convey that they’ve thought through their decision to dedicate themselves to a challenging profession. Admissions officers will be looking to see both exposure to the field and mature, clear-eyed commitment.
My mother is a doctor, so I grew up witnessing firsthand the strenuous life that often accompanies a career in medicine. That’s why, as a child, I vowed to never become a doctor myself. I loved playing outside, examining plants and dirt, and often imagined myself as a biologist, an interest I was fortunate to follow through summer science camps and school clubs.
When I entered high school, I began volunteering as a tutor for low-income middle school students in my town. I found a great deal of meaning not only in sharing knowledge that excited me, but also in directly improving the lives of others. When I mentioned this to my mom, she joked, “Sounds like a doctor.” Strangely, it was the first time I’d truly considered the possibility.
Throughout high school, I continued to both tutor and follow my love of science through advanced coursework and a summer microbiology research internship. I also decided to test out medicine by shadowing a colleague of my mom’s twice a week for several months. Though the ability to help others runs across all scientific fields, I eventually decided that medicine was the right career for me precisely because of its person-to-person nature. In spite of my childhood resistance, as I’ve matured it’s become obvious to me that the chance to make a clear difference in people’s lives is an ample reward for the many challenges that accompany the medical profession.
Want help writing your college essays?
Get our free 110-page guide to help you with every single one: How to Get Into America’s Elite Colleges: The Ultimate Guide
Question 2: Respond to one of the following prompts (250 words):
A: Health care is constantly changing, as it is affected by racial and social disparities, economics, politics, and technology, among others. How will you, as a future physician, make a positive impact?
B: How do you feel your personal background provides you with a unique perspective of medicine?
The two prompts above ask your child to describe how they will make an excellent doctor, with an eye towards either the future or the past.
The first prompt gives your child an opportunity to discuss their career goals, but they shouldn’t simply stop there. PLME also wants to know how your child’s aspirations are informed by current issues or events, suggesting that an excellent candidate isn’t just thinking about themselves. Rather, PLME wants to see that your child is socially and politically aware, and that this awareness is driving them to make a difference in the world.
If your child opts for the second prompt, they can draw on the diversity essay guidance we’ve provided in our guide to medical school secondary essays. PLME wants to know how your child’s point of view will add something new or unique to the medical community.
Prompt 3: How do you envision the Program in Liberal Medical Education helping you to meet your academic, personal, and professional goals as a person and as a physician of the future? (500 words)
This prompt asks for a “Why us?” essay , which we’ve also covered in our guide to med school secondary essays. Your child should use these tips to write an essay that explains how the specific offerings and ethos of PLME align with their aspirations. A successful response will focus equally on both PLME’s attributes and your child’s interests, experiences, and goals, explaining how they fit together.
If the phrase “physician of the future” is unclear, your child can think of it as an invitation to consider the changing landscape of healthcare and society in general—what goals does your child have to innovate or address current issues? For instance, they might be interested in developing new medical technologies, or perhaps they see the need for more Spanish-speaking doctors in certain parts of the country. In discussing these issues, they should explain how a PLME education will help them be a part of the solution.
Growing up in a family of creative people—my mother is a visual artist and my father is a musician—I have always been the odd one out with my inclination towards STEM and dream of studying medicine. I’ve come to realize that it was somewhat unusual to have been pushed towards drawing and poetry rather than sports or math club. Nevertheless, I’m grateful to have grown up in an environment in which interdisciplinary, expansive ways of thinking were valued and encouraged. Watching my parents draw inspiration for their work from everything from pop culture to sociological studies to religious texts has always made me wonder why borrowing from other disciplines isn’t the norm in every field.
As an MD, I hope to practice psychiatry in both clinical and research settings. I’m especially interested in studying the rising rates of depression in American youth and the correlation with technology use, an issue that I believe will only become more important as time goes on. I know that psychology and neuroscience are the foundation of this work; I also believe that public health, sociology, anthropology, and computer science provide necessary perspectives—plus fields that I haven’t yet had the chance to be exposed to.
I believe that the cross-pollination of ideas is the source of innovation. That’s why PLME is the perfect program for me as it will provide both a rigorous medical education and the ability to take an interdisciplinary approach to my studies. I’m particularly excited about resources like the Carney Institute for Brain Science, the Depression Research Group in the School of Public Health, and Alpert Medical School’s Scholarly Concentration in Medical Humanities and Ethics. Rather than be limited to a preset premed path, I believe that the freedom to explore the wide range of resources across Brown, wherever they may take me, will help me become both an excellent scholar and a creative, forward-thinking clinician and researcher.
Brown doesn’t offer on-campus interviews for prospective students, PLME applicants included. Instead, they typically offer the opportunity to either interview with an alum or submit a two-minute video portfolio . Due to COVID-19, no interviews are being offered during the 2022–2023 application cycle, currently leaving video portfolios as the only option to create a “face to face” impression.
Optional but strongly encouraged, video portfolios are a way to show the admissions committee the human behind the application. Your child may use their video to discuss their interests, experiences, why they’re applying to Brown/PLME, or anything else they’d like to convey. Production quality will not be evaluated, so your child should focus solely on the content of their video.
Your child should consider what they want Brown to know about them that isn’t well represented in the rest of their application. That could mean discussing, for example, something they do for fun or a relationship that’s meaningful to them. It could also mean speaking about a different facet of an academic interest or extracurricular. Whatever your child chooses to focus on, they should try to relate it to their interest in Brown and PLME.
Though creating a video portfolio might seem intimidating or unfamiliar, we suggest that your child approach it largely the same way they’d approach an interview. They should make use of the format to convey what’s sometimes invisible in written materials: human depth and personality. They should try to come across as polished, likable, comfortable, and, most importantly, like themselves.
Final thoughts
Great candidates for PLME are accomplished students who are set on a career in medicine but also value the breadth and flexibility of a liberal arts education. For the best chances of getting into this highly selective program, your child should focus on earning top grades in the most rigorous courses available, plus excellent standardized test scores if applicable.
Beyond this, they can stand out from the rest of the applicant pool by writing stellar essays that thoughtfully convey their commitment to medicine and which explain how PLME’s unique curriculum and philosophy will help them become the doctor they want to be.
About the Author
Dr. Shirag Shemmassian is the Founder of Shemmassian Academic Consulting and one of the world's foremost experts on college admissions. For nearly 20 years, he and his team have helped thousands of students get into top programs like Harvard, Stanford, and MIT using his exclusive approach.
THERE'S NO REASON TO STRUGGLE THROUGH THE BS/MD ADMISSIONS PROCESS ALONE, ESPECIALLY WITH SO MUCH ON THE LINE. SCHEDULE YOUR COMPLIMENTARY 30-MINUTE CONSULTATION TO ENSURE YOU LEAVE NOTHING TO CHANCE.

10+ Outstanding Common App Essay Examples

If you’re working on your college application, the Common Application prompts are in your future.
Even if you aren’t using the Common App , many schools require you to answer some version of the question “Who are you, and what do you value?”
Having helped thousands of students answer this question, I thought it would help to share some of my favorite Common App essay examples.
But first..
What is the Common Application?
The Common App is the most popular online system used by colleges and universities to help students apply to their college.
Hundreds of colleges and universities accept the Common App, and using it can save you a ton of time. Why? The essay you write for the Common App is sent to basically every school that you apply to.
The Common App essay is 650 words, and you have 7 prompts to pick from. (But note: It doesn’t matter which prompt you pick. In fact, I recommend you write your essay first and then choose the prompt to match it.)
Here are those Common App prompts:
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
So before diving into our Common App essay examples, here’s what to keep an eye on.
College admissions officers are looking for three things in your essay:
Who is this person?
Will this person contribute something of value to our campus?
Can this person write?
The reader should get a clear picture of what you value and how you’ll put those values into action.
How do you write a great common app essay?
I’ve got so much to say about how to write a Common App essay that it would make your head spin. But, here are the basics.
Brainstorm (I think it’s the most important step).
Structure your essay according to your topic.
Draft. Revise. Repeat.
Common App essay word limit.
The word limit for the Common App essay is 650. That doesn’t mean you need to use all 650 words—many of the great example essays below don’t. But as a general guideline, it’s a good idea to use most of that word count, since this essay is one of the primary ways a college gets a sense of who you are.
If you just want to see some great Common App essay examples, keep scrolling.
Be warned: some of these common application essay examples may inspire you.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
- #2 Easter (with Spanish Translation)
- #4 Transformers Are Not Just for Boys
- #5 The Instagram Post
- #6 ¡Ya Levantate!
- #7 No Stranger to Contrast
- #8 The “Not Black Enough” East-Asian Influenced Bibliophile
- #9 Superpowers
- #10 Does Every Life Matter?
- #11 The Daily Show
- #13 Growing Up in Lebanon
- #14 Endodontics
- #15 With Debate
Note that almost none of these students actually titled their essays; for the Table of Contents, I’ve simply titled them based on their first line or general topic.
Common App Essay Example #1 Home
(note: bold added to words added by us—see Tips + Analysis)
As I enter the double doors, the smell of freshly rolled biscuits hits me almost instantly. I trace the fan blades as they swing above me, emitting a low, repetitive hum resembling a faint melody. After bringing our usual order, the “Tailgate Special,” to the table, my father begins discussing the recent performance of Apple stock with my mother, myself, and my older eleven year old sister. Bojangle’s, a Southern establishment well known for its fried chicken and reliable fast food, is my family’s Friday night restaurant, often accompanied by trips to Eva Perry, the nearby library. With one hand on my breaded chicken and the other on Nancy Drew: Mystery of Crocodile Island, I can barely sit still as the thriller unfolds. They’re imprisoned! Reptiles! Not the enemy’s boat! As I delve into the narrative with a sip of sweet tea, I feel at home .
“Five, six, seven, eight!” As I shout the counts, nineteen dancers grab and begin to spin the tassels attached to their swords while walking heel-to-toe to the next formation of the classical Chinese sword dance. A glance at my notebook reveals a collection of worn pages covered with meticulously planned formations, counts, and movements. Through sharing videos of my performances with my relatives or discovering and choreographing the nuances of certain regional dances and their reflection on the region’s distinct culture, I deepen my relationship with my parents, heritage, and community. When I step on stage, the hours I’ve spent choreographing, creating poses, teaching, and polishing are all worthwhile, and the stage becomes my home .
Set temperature. Calibrate. Integrate. Analyze. Set temperature. Calibrate. Integrate. Analyze. This pulse mimics the beating of my heart, a subtle rhythm that persists each day I come into the lab. Whether I am working under the fume hood with platinum nanoparticles, manipulating raw integration data, or spraying a thin platinum film over pieces of copper, it is in Lab 304 in Hudson Hall that I first feel the distinct sensation, and I’m home . After spending several weeks attempting to synthesize platinum nanoparticles with a diameter between 10 and 16 nm, I finally achieve nanoparticles with a diameter of 14.6 nm after carefully monitoring the sulfuric acid bath. That unmistakable tingling sensation dances up my arm as I scribble into my notebook: I am overcome with a feeling of unbridled joy.
Styled in a t-shirt, shorts, and a worn, dark green lanyard, I sprint across the quad from the elective ‘Speaking Arabic through the Rassias Method’ to ‘Knitting Nirvana’. This afternoon is just one of many at Governor’s School East, where I have been transformed from a high school student into a philosopher, a thinker, and an avid learner. While I attend GS at Meredith College for Natural Science, the lessons learned and experiences gained extend far beyond physics concepts, serial dilutions, and toxicity. I learn to trust myself to have difficult yet necessary conversations about the political and economic climate. Governor’s School breeds a culture of inclusivity and multidimensionality, and I am transformed from “girl who is hardworking” or “science girl” to someone who indulges in the sciences, debates about psychology and the economy, and loves to swing and salsa dance. As I form a slip knot and cast on, I’m at home .
My home is a dynamic and eclectic entity. Although I’ve lived in the same house in Cary, North Carolina for 10 years, I have found and carved homes and communities that are filled with and enriched by tradition, artists, researchers, and intellectuals. While I may not always live within a 5 mile radius of a Bojangle’s or in close proximity to Lab 304, learning to become a more perceptive daughter and sister, to share the beauty of my heritage, and to take risks and redefine scientific and personal expectations will continue to impact my sense of home .
Tips + Analysis:
Precise details = efficient storytelling. Another writer may have written that they simply “worked in a lab” or that they “danced”, but not this writer. This writer knows how to quickly and deeply reveal the insights of lived experience. She’s not simply “working in a lab,” but she’s “spraying a thin platinum film over pieces of copper” and “monitoring the sulfuric acid bath.” Using those key, precise, “showing” details , she brings us into those moments in the lab, such that we can really see what her time there looks like. The result is that readers get a more comprehensive understanding of what those experiences have taught the writer.
Know your thread. In a montage essay , a writer uses a guiding thread to tie together different experiences from their life. Look at the bolded words in the essay to see how this writer builds her guiding thread: places where she feels at home. At the end of each paragraph she explains how the example she described relates to her experience of “home.” But notice the variability in her phrasing. She doesn’t simply end each paragraph by saying “I feel at home when X because Y.” She changes her phrasing up, but still always gets at the same idea (i.e., feeling at home). “But wait,” you might say, “why did she change her use of “home” in that lab paragraph.” Answer: because ending all four of the body paragraphs with “home” (notice that she saves her intro for the end—more on that in a moment) could easily feel repetitive. So she weaves “home” into the middle of the paragraph and at the end describes “ That unmistakable feeling…” (emphasis added). In using this phrase, she evokes the concept of home by injecting familiarity into the reflection—what is unmistakable is familiar, and what is familiar, to this writer, is home.
Get forward-looking with your ending . Your English teacher may have told you to conclude your essays by restating your thesis. While that can be great advice for certain types of writing, you might want to try and get a bit more nuanced with your personal statement. For example, this writer actually saves what would normally be an intro for the final paragraph/conclusion , and doesn’t simply restate all the main points of her essay, but she explains how the lessons she’s learned will inform future actions . She does this most explicitly by saying that each experience she’s touched on in the essay will “continue to impact [her] sense of home.” With that phrase she makes clear to readers that she knows how to apply the lessons learned in this essay to her future.
Learn how to write your common app essay here
Common app essay example #2 easter.
It was Easter and we should’ve been celebrating with our family, but my father had locked us in the house. If he wasn’t going out, neither were my mother and I.
My mother came to the U.S. from Mexico to study English. She’d been an exceptional student and had a bright future ahead of her. But she fell in love and eloped with the man that eventually became my father. He loved her in an unhealthy way, and was both physically and verbally abusive. My mother lacked the courage to start over so she stayed with him and slowly let go of her dreams and aspirations. But she wouldn’t allow for the same to happen to me.
In the summer before my junior year I was offered a scholarship to study abroad in Egypt. Not to my surprise, my father refused to let me go. But my mother wouldn’t let him crush my dreams as well. I’d do this for myself and for my mothers unfulfilled aspirations. I accepted the scholarship.
I thought I’d finally have all the freedom I longed for in Egypt, but initially I didn’t. On a weekly basis I heard insults and received harassment in the streets, yet I didn’t yield to the societal expectations for women by staying indoors. I continued to roam throughout Egypt, exploring the Great Pyramids of Giza , cruising on the Nile, and traveling to Luxor and Aswan. And before I returned to the U.S. I received the unexpected opportunity to travel to London and Paris. It was surreal: a girl from the ghetto traveling alone around the world with a map in her hands And no man or cultural standards could dictate what I was to do. I rode the subway from Cambridge University to the British Museum. I took a train from London to Paris and in two days I visited the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, Notre Dame Cathedral, and took a cruise on the Seine. Despite the language barrier I found I had the self-confidence to approach anyone for directions.
While I was in Europe enjoying my freedom, my mother moved out and rented her own place. It was as if we’d simultaneously gained our independence. We were proud of each other. And she vicariously lived through my experiences as I sent her pictures and told her about my adventures.
Finally, we were free.
I currently live in the U.S with my mother. My father has gradually transformed from a frigid man to the loving father I always yearned for. Life isn’t perfect, but for the moment I’m enjoying tranquility and stability with my family and are communicating much better than ever before.
I’m involved in my school’s Leadership Council as leader of our events committee. We plan and execute school dances and create effective donation letters. I see this as a stepping-stone for my future, as I plan to double major in Women’s Studies and International Relations with a focus on Middle Eastern studies. After the political turmoil of the Arab Spring many Middle Eastern countries refuse to grant women equal positions in society because that would contradict Islamic texts. By oppressing women they’re silencing half of their population. I believe these Islamic texts have been misinterpreted throughout time, and my journey towards my own independence has inspired me to help other women find liberation as well.
My Easter will drastically differ from past years. Rather than being locked at home, my mother and I will celebrate outdoors our rebirth and renewal.
Use details to hook the reader. An effective hook should do two things: engage the reader’s attention, and set up the direction/focus of the essay. This writer uses details to successfully do both of those things. Learning that her father had “locked [her and other mother] in the house, our attention is grasped by the apparent severity of the situation. Starting with this example also previews the exploration of freedom and independence later in the essay, setting the writer up to…
…End with a full-circle flourish. After the first paragraph, the essay moves away from that specific moment in the bathroom, not returning to it until the last paragraph. But they didn’t completely abandon the ideas of the opening in the middle paragraphs, right? Right—they used the middle to expand on and clarify the ideas suggested by the intro. By doing this, we come to see the opening as one of a few examples of men trying to control the writer’s life. By revisiting that locked-bathroom anecdote at the essay’s end, the writer crystallizes what they’ve learned through the events of the essay. In celebrating “outdoors [her and her mother’s] rebirth and renewal,” she asserts her newfound independence, confidence, and power. (See “Back to the beginning, but something’s changed” for more on this guide to different ways to end a personal statement .)
Keep the focus on you (even when others are involved). Your personal statement is about you. Other people may have been involved in the story you want to tell, but they shouldn’t be the stars of your essay’s show. For example, it’s clear that this writer’s mother played a key role in this essay, but the focus remains on the writer’s actions and learnings. She uses the second paragraph to provide just enough context on her family dynamic before pivoting to the “What I Did” part of the essay. There, our attention is focused mostly on how the writer responded to the essay’s challenges: she “continued to roam throughout Egypt”, “rode the subway from Cambridge University to the British Museum” and later became “involved in [her] school’s Leadership Council as leader.” By using those key details, she keeps her story focused on her.
Spanish Version of “EASTER”:
Era Pascua y deberíamos haber estado celebrando con nuestra familia, pero mi padre nos había encerrado en casa. Si él no iba a salir, tampoco mi madre e yo.
Mi madre vino a los EE.UU. desde México para estudiar Inglés . Había sido una estudiante excepcional y tenía un futuro brillante por delante de ella . Pero se enamoró y se fugó con el hombre que sería mi padre. La amaba pero de una manera destructiva, y era a la vez física y verbalmente abusivo. Mi madre no tuvo el valor para empezar de nuevo así que se quedó con él y poco a poco puso a un lado sus sueños y aspiraciones. Pero ella no permitiría que me ocurriera lo mismo que a ella.
El verano pasado, en mi primer año me ofrecieron una beca para estudiar en el extranjero en Egipto. No, para mi sorpresa , mi padre se negó a dejarme ir. Pero mi madre no permitió que mi padre arruinara mis sueños también. Yo haría esto no sólo por mí sino también por mi madre y sus aspiraciones que no había cumplido. Acepté la beca.
Pensé que por fin tendría toda la libertad que anhelaba en Egipto, pero al principio no lo tuve. Diario escuché los insultos y recibí el acoso en las calles, pero no me someti ante las expectativas que la sociedad tenia para las mujeres por quedarme en casa. Seguí viajando por todo Egipto, las grandes pirámides de Giza, crucero por el Nilo, y viajes a Luxor y Aswan. Y antes de regresar a los EE.UU. recibí la inesperada oportunidad de viajar a Londres y París. Fue surrealista: una chica del barrio viajaria sola por el mundo con un mapa en sus manos y ningún hombre o norma cultural podría dictar lo que iba o podía a hacer. Me subí a un tren desde la Universidad de Cambridge hasta el Museo Británico. Tomé un tren de Londres a París y en dos días visité la Torre Eiffel, el Louvre , la Catedral de Notre Dame, y tomé un crucero por el río Sena. A pesar de la barrera del idioma me di cuenta que tenía la confianza en mi misma para acercarme a cualquier persona en mi camino.
Mientras estaba en Europa disfrutando de mi libertad, mi madre se mudó y alquiló su propio lugar . Era como si al mismo tiempo habíamos ganado nuestra independencia. Nos sentimos orgullosos de una misma. Y ella vivía vicariamente a través de mis experiencias por media de las fotos que le envié lo que le conté de mis aventuras.
Finalmente, éramos libres.
Ahora vivo en los EE.UU. con mi madre. Mi padre se ha transformado gradualmente de un hombre frígido a el padre amoroso que siempre anhelaba . Mi vida no es perfecta, pero por el momento estoy disfrutando de la tranquilidad y la estabilidad con mi familia y nos comunicamos mucho mejor que antes.
Yo estoy involucrada en el Consejo de Liderazgo de mi escuela como líder de nuestro comité de eventos. Planificamos y ejecutamos los bailes escolares y creamos cartas de donación efectivas. Veo esto como un comienzo hacia mi futuro , ya que tengo pensado en obtener una doble licenciatura en Estudios de la Mujer y Relaciones Internacionales con énfasis en estudios de Medio Oriente. Después de la rebeldía civil de la primavera Árabe muchos países del Medio Oriente se negaron a concederles a las mujeres la igualdad en posiciones en la sociedad, ya que estaría en contradicción con la religión de Islam. La opresión de la mujer está silenciando a la mitad de la población. Creo que estos textos islámicos han sido mal interpretados a través del tiempo, y mi trayecto hacia mi propia independencia me ha inspirado a ayudar a otras mujeres a encontrar su liberación también.
Mi Pascua cambió drásticamente en comparación con los últimos años. En lugar de estar encerrados en casa, mi madre y yo celebramos al aire libre nuestro renacimiento y renovación.
ARE YOU A STUDENT FROM A LOW-INCOME HOUSEHOLD, HAVE A GOOD GPA, AND ARE LOOKING FOR FREE COLLEGE ESSAY AND APPLICATION COACHING?
Learn more about the matchlighters scholars program & apply today..

Common App Essay Example #3 Makeup
In eighth grade, I was asked to write my hobbies and career goals, but I hesitated. Should I just make something up? I was embarrassed to tell people that my hobby was collecting cosmetics and that I wanted to become a cosmetic chemist. I worried others would judge me as too girlish and less competent compared to friends who wanted to work at the UN in foreign affairs or police the internet to crack down on hackers. The very fact that I was insecure about my "hobby" was perhaps proof that cosmetics was trivial, and I was a superficial girl for loving it.
But cosmetics was not just a pastime, it was an essential part of my daily life. In the morning I got up early for my skincare routine, using brightening skin tone and concealing blemishes, which gave me the energy and confidence throughout the day. At bedtime I relaxed with a soothing cleansing ritual applying different textures and scents of liquids, creams, sprays, and gels. My cosmetic collection was a dependable companion - rather than hiding it away, I decided instead to learn more about cosmetics, and to explore.
However, cosmetic science wasn't taught at school so I designed my own training. It began with the search for a local cosmetician to teach me the basics of cosmetics, and each Sunday I visited her lab to formulate organic products. A year of lab practice taught me how little I knew about ingredients, so my training continued with independent research on toxins. I discovered that safety in cosmetics was a contested issue amongst scientists, policy makers, companies, and consumer groups, variously telling me there are toxic ingredients that may or may not be harmful. I was frustrated by this uncertainty, yet motivated to find ways of sharing what I was learning with others.
Research spurred action. I began writing articles on the history of toxic cosmetics, from lead in Elizabethan face powder to lead in today's lipstick, and communicated with a large readership online. Positive feedback from hundreds of readers inspired me to step up my writing, to raise awareness with my peers, so I wrote a gamified survey for online distribution discussing the slack natural and organic labeling of cosmetics, which are neither regulated nor properly defined. At school I saw opportunities to affect real change and launched a series of green chemistry campaigns: the green agenda engaged the school community in something positive and was a magnet for creative student ideas, such as a recent project to donate handmade organic pet shampoo to local dog shelters. By senior year, I was pleased my exploration had gone well.
But on a recent holiday back home, I unpacked and noticed cosmetics had invaded much of my space over the years. Dresser top and drawers were crammed with unused tubes and jars — once handpicked with loving care — had now become garbage. I sorted through each hardened face powder and discolored lotion, remembering what had excited me about the product and how I'd used it. Examining these mementos led me to a surprising realization: yes, I had been a superficial girl obsessed with clear and flawless skin.
But there was something more too.
My makeup had given me confidence and comfort, and that was okay. I am glad I didn't abandon the superficial me, but instead acknowledged her, and stood by her to take her on an enlightening and rewarding journey. Cosmetics led me to dig deeper into scientific inquiry, helped me develop an impassioned voice, and became a tool to connect me with others. Together, I've learned that the beauty of a meaningful journey lies in getting lost for it was in the meandering that I found myself.
Find uncommon connections . Some content is more well-trodden than others. For example, many people write about how X sport taught them Y lesson about hard work, resulting in a dreaded “cliché” essay. There are a few remedies for avoiding cliché topics. This writer successfully employs “uncommon connections” to make her essay unique. When an application reader enters an essay about makeup, they’re likely not thinking that they’re going to read an essay about the value of scientific inquiry. This is one of the things that makes this essay so strong: it manages to connect ideas seldom connected. For your own essay, you might ask yourself, “what would the cliché version of my story focus on?” Or maybe even “what are the values one would expect an essay about X to focus on?” Then, try to come up with a few less-common values that you feel connect to your story.
Find the glue (between paragraphs) . We enter each paragraph understanding how it’s going to relate to the ideas of the previous paragraph. How? This writer makes some great transitions . Take the start of paragraph two, for example. She begins with this: “But cosmetics was not just a pastime , it was an essential part of my daily life ”. We’ve underlined the parts of that sentence that make it such a strong transition. By saying cosmetics were “not just a pastime,” the writer references the idea she used to end paragraph one. Then, by clarifying that cosmetics were “an essential part of [her] daily life,” she explains how she’s going to explore the significance of cosmetics in this next paragraph. The result is that we’re able to follow a clear train of thought: at first, cosmetics seemed like just a pastime, but I later realized they were an essential part of daily life.
Build an arc. Notice how this writer’s relationship to cosmetics develops over the course of the essay. She opens by noting that she was “insecure” for her love of cosmetics, thinking it made her “superficial.” The next middle paragraphs then explain how specific experiences provided more nuance to her relationship with cosmetics. Finally, when we get to that ending paragraph, we see a familiar but importantly different relationship with cosmetics: yes, she thinks she was “superficial,” but her experiences have led her to express gratitude for that past version of herself, not shame.

Common App Essay Example #4 Transformers Are Not Just for Boys
Transformers are not just for boys. I loved these amazing robots that could transform into planes and cars the first time I saw them in the toy store. The boys had all the samples, refusing to let me play with one. When I protested loudly to my mother, she gently chided me that Transformers were ugly and unfeminine. She was wrong.
When I moved from China to Canada, my initial excitement turned to dismay as my peers were not as understanding of my language barrier as I’d hoped. I joined the robotics team in a desperate attempt to find a community, though I doubted I would fit into the male-dominated field. Once I used physics to determine gear ratio, held a drill for the first time, and jumped into the pit to fix a robot, I was hooked.
I went back to China that summer to bring robotics to my friends. I asked them to join me in the technology room at my old school and showed them how to use power tools to create robot parts. I pitched my idea to the school principal and department heads. By the time I left China, my old school had a team.
Throughout the next year, I guided my Chinese team-only one of three that existed in the country-with the help of social media. I translated instructions, set building deadlines and coached them on how to answer judges’ questions.
I returned to China a year later to lead my team through their first Chinese-hosted international competition. Immediately upon arrival to the competition, I gave the Chinese head official important documents for urgent distribution. I knew all the Chinese teams would need careful instructions on the rules and procedures. I was surprised when the competition descended into confusion and chaos. Government policies against information sharing had blocked the Chinese teams from receiving information and the Chinese organizers hadn’t distributed my documents. I decided to create another source of knowledge for my fledgling robotics teams.
It took me several weeks to create a sharing platform that students could access through the firewall. On it, I shared my experience and posted practical practice challenges. I received hundreds of shares and had dozens of discussion questions posted.
My platform’s popularity created an unintended issue; it garnered the attention and reprimand of the Chinese robotics organizations. When a head official reached out to my Canadian mentors, warning them to stop my involvement with the Chinese teams, I was concerned. When a Chinese official publicly chastised me on a major robotics forum, I was heartbroken. They made it clear that my gender, my youth, and my information sharing approach was not what they wanted.
I considered quitting. But so many students reached out to me requesting help. I wanted to end unnecessary exclusion. I worked to enhance access to my platform. I convinced Amazon to sponsor my site, giving it access to worldwide high-speed servers. Although I worried about repercussions, I continued to translate and share important documents.
During the busy building season, my platform is swamped with discussions, questions and downloads. I have organized a group of friends to help me monitor the platform daily so that no question or request is left unanswered. Some of my fears have come true: I have been banned from several Chinese robotics forums. I am no longer allowed to attend Chinese robotics competitions in China as a mentor. The Chinese government has taken down my site more than once.
Robotics was my first introduction to the wonderful world of Science, Technology, Engineering and Math. I am dedicated to the growth of robotics in places where it is needed and wanted. I have used my hands and mind to tear down all barriers that separate people, no matter gender or nationality, from the inspiration and exploration of STEM.
Transformers, robotics and STEM are for boys and girls, even in China.
Vary your structure. No matter how interesting its content might be, few people greet the text-wall of a 20 sentence paragraph with joy. Shorter, clearly-purposed, digestible paragraphs often make for more approachable writing. The above writer knows this. She takes her time when she needs to develop key examples, like she does in paragraph five, and is quick and efficient when she’s building to a point, like she does in two-sentence paragraph four (and yes, one or two sentence paragraphs are totally fine on a college personal statement). She does this not only with her paragraphs, but with her sentences, too. The punchiness of “She was wrong” at the end of the first paragraph is achieved by its contrast with the longer, more-complex previous two sentences.
Get clear on what you did. “What did you do in your volunteer work?” asks the admissions officer reading your essay. “I helped out,” you respond, failing to seize a moment to tell us about the awesome things you actually did. The writer of this essay certainly “helped out” with her robotics team, but she did so much more than that, yes? How do we know this? Well, she uses some really strong action verbs along the way to show us what she did. Take paragraph four, for example. The first sentence introduces the general idea of her being a “guide” for her robotics team in China, and then the second sentence gives us some very-specific examples of what that guidance looked like. She “ translated instructions,” “ set building deadlines” and “ coached” her teammates on how to answer judges’ questions.” Want to attain that level of clarity in your own writing? Consider checking out our epic list of verbs for some guidance on how to clearly describe actions you took in your application essays.
Show us the effect you had. This writer doesn’t only use clear verbs and details to show us what she did, she also uses them to show us the effects her actions had. Look at paragraph six for a great example of this. Describing the effects of her creating an online sharing platform, she writes, “I received hundreds of shares and had dozens of discussion questions posted.” Later, she notes that “The Chinese government has taken down my site more than once.” She could have simply written that “a lot of people used her platform,” or that “The Chinese government took issue with my website,” but she doesn’t. Instead, she uses key details to show the effects of her actions.
Common App Essay Example #5 The Instagram Post
On “Silent Siege Day,” many students in my high school joined the Students for Life club and wore red armbands with “LIFE” on them. As a non-Catholic in a Catholic school, I knew I had to be cautious in expressing my opinion on the abortion debate. However, when I saw that all of the armband-bearing students were male, I could not stay silent.
I wrote on Instagram, “pro-choice does not necessarily imply pro-abortion; it means that we respect a woman’s fundamental right to make her own choice regarding her own body.”
Some of my peers expressed support but others responded by calling me a dumb bitch, among other names. When I demanded an apology for the name-calling, I was told I needed to learn to take a joke: “you have a lot of anger, I think you need a boyfriend.” Another one of my peers apparently thought the post was sarcastic (?) and said “I didn’t know women knew how to use sarcasm.”
One by one, I responded. I was glad to have sparked discussion, but by midnight, I was mentally and emotionally exhausted.
Completely overwhelmed by the 140+ comments, I looked to my parents for comfort, assuming they would be proud of me for standing up for my beliefs. But instead, they told me to remove the post and to keep quiet, given the audience. I refused to remove the post, but decided to stay silent.
For months, I heard students talking about “The Post,” and a new sense of self-consciousness felt like duct tape over my mouth. As I researched the history of Planned Parenthood (to respond to someone accusing it of “the genocide of black babies”), I became interested in the history of the feminist movement. At the same time, I was studying the Civil Rights Movement in my history class, and researching my feminist critique of Ibsen’s A Doll’s House . I gradually began to realize that refusing to conform to the conventions of society is what propels us toward equality. Martin Luther King was arrested nearly thirty times for ‘civil disobedience’ and Susan B. Anthony for ‘illegal voting.’ Letting the social media backlash silence my own fight for social justice seemed silly and unacceptable.
Before The Post, I naïvely thought that sexism was dead, but I came to see its ubiquity, whether it’s painfully conspicuous or seemingly innocuous. Knowing that young girls are especially vulnerable to constricting gender stereotypes, I Googled “girls empowerment programs” and called Girls on the Run to see how I could help. As a junior coach, I spend my Monday and Thursday afternoons with middle school girls, running, singing Taylor Swift songs, discussing our daily achievements (I got 100 on my math test!), and setting goals for the next day. The girls celebrate their accomplishments and talk about themselves positively, fully expressing their self-esteem.
After The Post, I also Googled ‘how to be politically active,’ and signed petitions for the Medicare for All Act, the Raise the Wage Act, and the EACH Woman Act, among others. In response to the transgender military ban, I called the White House (they hung up as soon as I said “as a human rights advocate...,” but I tried). It feels good to sign petitions, but I’m still not doing enough. I want to fight for social justice in the courtroom.
My role model Ruth Bader Ginsburg says, “dissent[ers] speak to a future age... they are writing not for today but for tomorrow.” Retrospectively, I realize that The Post was my voice of dissent―through it, I initiated a campus-wide discussion and openly challenged the majority opinion of my school for the first time. As I aspire to become a civil rights attorney and the first Asian woman on the Supreme Court (I hope it doesn’t take that long!), I am confident that I will continue to write and speak out for justice ―for tomorrow.
Keep the focus on action and outcome. In this narrative essay , the writer uses roughly the first ⅓ of her story to describe challenges, and the effects of those challenges. By the time we get to the “One by one…” paragraph, she pivots to start describing specific things she did to respond to those challenges, weaving in things she learned along the way. Notice the ratio there: ⅓ of the essay focuses on the problem, leaving a whole ⅔ of the word count to discuss actions, and the outcomes of those actions. If you’re writing a narrative essay, let that ratio be a guide. Application readers are interested in learning about your challenges, but are most interested in how you responded to them.
Use clear verbs to show us what you did. Maybe you and your friends ‘worked hard’ on a project during your junior year of high school. That’s great! But simply telling us that you ‘worked hard’ doesn’t really tell us much about what happened. So how do you give us a better sense of what you did? Use clear action verbs. Notice how many action verbs this writer uses: “ I wrote on Instagram”, “ I demanded an apology”, “ singing Taylor Swift songs”, “ I called the White House.” There are many more, all of which give us an easy-to-see sense of what this writer did. Need some help thinking of verbs for your own essays? Check out our epic list of verbs for some ideas.
Keep your timeline in order . In this narrative essay, the writer chronologically organizes her paragraphs, making it easy for us to follow along with the sequence of events. She starts with the origins of that Instagram post, discusses people’s reactions to it, shows how she responded to those reactions, and finally tells us what she learned. Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of the structure—a lot of thought likely went into the ordering of ideas. By precisely choosing which moments in the timeline to show us, the writer keeps control of the story. Look at the transition from paragraph four to paragraph five, for example. When the writer says “for months, I heard students talking about ‘The Post…’”, we get the sense that a lot has transpired since she made that Instagram post. But she doesn’t tell us about every whisper she heard in the hallway, or every comment made in class, does she? Instead, she’s precise, telling us only the details necessary to move the action forward.
EXPERIENCING COLLEGE ESSAY OVERLOAD? rEAD ABOUT COMBINING YOUR COLLEGE ESSAY PROMPTS TO SAVE 20+ WRITING HOURS
Common app essay example #6 ¡ya levantate.
“¡Mijo! ¡Ya levantate! ¡Se hace tarde!” (Son! Wake up! It's late already.) My father’s voice pierced into my room as I worked my eyes open. We were supposed to open the restaurant earlier that day.
Ever since 5th grade, I have been my parents’ right hand at Hon Lin Restaurant in our hometown of Hermosillo, Mexico. Sometimes, they needed me to be the cashier; other times, I was the youngest waiter on staff. Eventually, when I got strong enough, I was called into the kitchen to work as a dishwasher and a chef’s assistant.
The restaurant took a huge toll on my parents and me. Working more than 12 hours every single day (even holidays), I lacked paternal guidance, thus I had to build autonomy at an early age. On weekdays, I learned to cook my own meals, wash my own clothes, watch over my two younger sisters, and juggle school work.
One Christmas Eve we had to prepare 135 turkeys as a result of my father’s desire to offer a Christmas celebration to his patrons. We began working at 11pm all the way to 5am. At one point, I noticed the large dark bags under my father’s eyes. This was the scene that ignited the question in my head: “Is this how I want to spend the rest of my life?”
The answer was no.
So I started a list of goals. My first objective was to make it onto my school’s British English Olympics team that competed in an annual English competition in the U.K. After two unsuccessful attempts, I got in. The rigorous eight months of training paid off as we defeated over 150 international schools and lifted the 2nd Place cup; pride permeated throughout my hometown.
Despite the euphoria brought by victory, my sense of stability would be tested again, and therefore my goals had to adjust to the changing pattern.
During the summer of 2014, my parents sent me to live in the United States on my own to seek better educational opportunities. I lived with my grandparents, who spoke Taishan (a Chinese dialect I wasn’t fluent in). New responsibilities came along as I spent that summer clearing my documentation, enrolling in school, and getting electricity and water set up in our new home. At 15 years old, I became the family’s financial manager, running my father’s bank accounts, paying bills and insurance, while also translating for my grandmother, and cleaning the house.
In the midst of moving to a new country and the overwhelming responsibilities that came with it, I found an activity that helped me not only escape the pressures around me but also discover myself. MESA introduced me to STEM and gave me nourishment and a new perspective on mathematics. As a result, I found my potential in math way beyond balancing my dad’s checkbooks.
My 15 years in Mexico forged part of my culture that I just cannot live without. Trying to fill the void for a familiar community, I got involved with the Association of Latin American students, where I am now an Executive Officer. I proudly embrace the identity I left behind. I started from small debates within the club to discussing bills alongside 124 Chicanos/Latinos at the State Capitol of California.
The more I scratch off from my goals list, the more it brings me back to those days handling spatulas. Anew, I ask myself, “Is this how I want to spent the rest of my life?” I want a life driven by my passions, rather than the impositions of labor. I want to explore new paths and grow within my community to eradicate the prejudicial barriers on Latinos. So yes, this IS how I want to spend the rest of my life.
Use structure to your advantage. Take a moment to count the number of sentences in each paragraph of this essay. Really, do this. I’ll wait… Good? Okay, let’s talk about what you might have noticed. Rather than the bulkier paragraphs one may produce in a literary analysis paper in English class, this writer keeps the paragraphs short and sweet—the shortest ones are one sentence long, the longer ones are four-ish sentences. This has a lot of effects on the story. Here are two of important ones: 1. It simply makes the essay look more inviting. You could have the most engaging story ever, but if it comes in the form of a 10 sentence wall-of-text, you’re going to be putting your readers off. 2. It enables the writer to emphasize certain ideas. Check out paragraph five, for example: “The answer was no.” That’s it. That’s the whole thing. And, sandwiched between the longer paragraphs four and six, it calls attention to what it says, emphasizing the significance of this realization in the writer’s life.
Start with tension, then fill us in later. This essay hooks our attention by starting us in a moment of high tension. Reading those first lines, we think “Someone’s yelling? Why?” It’s our desire for context that propels our attention into the next paragraph. There, the writer quickly clarifies what’s going on in the opening sentences: he fulfills many responsibilities in his family’s restaurant, and so he often needs to wake up early to work.
What story can your activities list not tell? We like to think of your personal statement as the heart of your application . It’s an opportunity to show readers the essence of who you are as a person. This means it’s a great opportunity to let people in on the motivations behind what you do in your day to day life. I’m going to bet that this writer has included his experiences with MESA and the Association of Latin American Students on his Common App Activities List. I’m also going to bet that he didn’t discuss anything about his deeper motivations for doing those activities in his activities list (he wouldn’t really have space to do that anyway). You know what is a great space to dig into the backstory of those activities? Your personal statement. That’s what this writer does, right? What made him want to be a part of the Association of Latin American Students? Well, he was “trying to fill the void for a familiar community.” What prior experiences informed his work with MESA? Well, he was quite comfortable “balancing [his] dad’s checkbooks.”
Want more Essay Examples?
Click here for more of the best college essay examples.

Common App Essay Example #7 No Stranger to Contrast
I’m no stranger to contrast. A Chinese American with accented Chinese, a Florida-born Texan, a first generation American with a British passport: no label fits me without a caveat.
But I’ve always strived to find connections among the dissimilar. In my home across the sea, although my relatives’ rapid Mandarin sails over my head, in them I recognize the same work ethic that carried my parents out of rural Shanghai to America, that fueled me through sweltering marching band practices and over caffeinated late nights. I even spend my free time doing nonograms, grid-based logic puzzles solved by using clues to fill in seemingly random pixels to create a picture.
It started when I was a kid. One day, my dad captured my fickle kindergartner attention (a herculean feat) and taught me Sudoku. As he explained the rules, those mysterious scaffoldings of numbers I often saw on his computer screen transformed into complex structures of logic built by careful strategy.
From then on, I wondered if I could uncover the hidden order behind other things in my life. In elementary school, I began to recognize patterns in the world around me: thin, dark clouds signaled rain, the moon changed shape every week, and the best snacks were the first to go. I wanted to know what unseen rules affected these things and how they worked. My parents, both pipeline engineers, encouraged this inquisitiveness and sometimes tried explaining to me how they solved puzzles in their own work. Although I didn’t understand the particulars, their analytical mindsets helped me muddle through math homework and optimize matches in Candy Crush.
In high school, I studied by linking concepts across subjects as if my coursework was another puzzle to solve. PEMDAS helped me understand appositive phrases, and the catalysts for revolutions resembled chemical isotopes, nominally different with the same properties.
As I grew older, my interests expanded to include the delicate systems of biology, the complexity of animation, and the nuances of language. Despite these subjects’ apparent dissimilarity, each provided fresh, fascinating perspectives on the world with approaches like color theory and evolution. I was (and remain) voracious for the new and unusual, spending hours entrenched in Wikipedia articles on obscure topics, i.e. classical ciphers or dragons, and analyzing absurdist YouTube videos.
Unsurprisingly, like pilot fish to their sharks, my career aspirations followed my varied passions: one day I wanted to be an illustrator, the next a biochemist, then a stand-up comedian. When it came to narrowing down the choices, narrowing down myself, I felt like nothing would satisfy my ever-fluctuating intellectual appetite.
But when I discovered programming, something seemed to settle. In computer science, I had found a field where I could be creative, explore a different type of language, and (yes) solve puzzles. Coding let me both analyze logic in its purest form and manipulate it to accomplish anything from a simple “print ‘hello world’” to creating functional games. Even when lines of red error messages fill my console, debugging offered me the same thrill as a particularly good puzzle. Now, when I see my buggy versions of Snake, Paint, and Pacman in my files, I’m filled paradoxically with both satisfaction and a restless itch to improve the code and write new, better programs.
While to others my life may seem like a jumble of incompatible fragments, like a jigsaw puzzle, each piece connects to become something more. However, there are still missing pieces at the periphery: experiences to have, knowledge to gain, bad jokes to tell. Someday I hope to solve the unsolvable. But for now, I’ve got a nonogram with my name on it.
Consider how structure can relate to your content. Much of this essay is about a certain kind of chaos, right? Let me suggest that the writer’s sentence structure often (intentionally, and to great effect) mimics that chaos. Let’s look at a sentence from paragraph seven:
Unsurprisingly, like pilot fish to their sharks, my career aspirations followed my varied passions: one day I wanted to be an illustrator, the next a biochemist, then a stand-up comedian.
Notice how many twists and turns this sentence makes amidst the commas:; after each one, the writer introduces a new idea. In this way, the structure mirrors the content. Compare that with the simplicity of a sentence that comes soon after in the next paragraph:
But when I discovered programming, something seemed to settle.
This reads quite differently than the other sentence, right? It’s calmer. It’s more simple. It maybe even sounds like the writer himself has “settled.” See what’s happening there? The writer uses sentence structure to enhance the argument they’re about to make about computer science.
Seek insight in the everyday . Your college application is rife with opportunities to brag about yourself. Your activities list, for example, is a place where you tell people about all sorts of extracurriculars you do. But life’s made up of significant moments outside of what fits on an activities list (right?!). This writer probably didn’t mention anything about nonograms, Candy Crush, or Wikipedia research anywhere else in their application. And yet those experiences are essential to the argument they’re making here. People often feel like they need to have gone through some wild, extraordinary experiences to make for compelling personal statement content. While that content certainly can work, the success of your personal statement is just as (perhaps more) dependent on how you write about your experiences. So yes, skydiving with sharks can be great content. So too can playing Candy Crush (if you can find the insight in it).
Common App Essay Example #8 The “Not Black Enough” East-Asian Influenced Bibliophile
Growing up, my world was basketball. My summers were spent between the two solid black lines. My skin was consistently tan in splotches and ridden with random scratches. My wardrobe consisted mainly of track shorts, Nike shoes, and tournament t-shirts. Gatorade and Fun Dip were my pre-game snacks. The cacophony of rowdy crowds, ref whistles, squeaky shoes, and scoreboard buzzers was a familiar sound. I was the team captain of almost every team I played on—familiar with the Xs and Os of plays, commander of the court, and the coach’s right hand girl.
But that was only me on the surface.
Deep down I was an East-Asian influenced bibliophile and a Young Adult fiction writer.
Hidden in the cracks of a blossoming collegiate level athlete was a literary fiend. I devoured books in the daylight. I crafted stories at night time. After games, after practice, after conditioning I found nooks of solitude. Within these moments, I became engulfed in a world of my own creation. Initially, I only read young adult literature, but I grew to enjoy literary fiction and self-help: Kafka, Dostoevsky, Branden, Csikszentmihalyi. I expanded my bubble to Google+ critique groups, online discussion groups, blogs, writing competitions and clubs. I wrote my first novel in fifth grade, my second in seventh grade, and started my third in ninth grade. Reading was instinctual. Writing was impulsive.
I stumbled upon the movies of Hayao Miyazaki at a young age. I related a lot to the underlying East Asian philosophy present in his movies. My own perspective on life, growth, and change was echoed in his storytelling. So, I read his autobiographies, watched anime, and researched ancient texts— Analects, The Way, Art of War . Then, I discovered the books of Haruki Murakami whom I now emulate in order to improve my writing.
Like two sides of a coin, I lived in two worlds. One world was outward—aggressive, noisy, invigorating; the other, internal—tempestuous, serene, nuanced.
Internal and external conflict ensued. Many times I was seen only as an athlete and judged by the stereotypes that come with it: self-centered, unintelligent, listens to rap. But off the court, I was more reflective, empathetic and I listened to music like Florence and the Machine. I was even sometimes bullied for not acting “black enough.” My teammates felt that my singular focus should be basketball and found it strange that I participated in so many extracurriculars.
But why should I be one-dimensional? I had always been motivated to reach the pinnacle of my potential in whatever I was interested in. Why should I be defined by only one aspect of my life? I felt like I had to pick one world.
Then I had an ACL injury. And then another. And then another.
After the first ACL surgery, my family and I made the decision to homeschool. I knew I wanted to explore my many interests—literature, novel writing, East Asian culture, and basketball—equally. So I did. I found time to analyze Heart of Darkness and used my blog to instruct adult authors how to become self-published authors. I researched Shintoism, read dozens of books on writing and self-improvement. My sister and I had been talking for a while about starting a nonprofit focused on social awareness, education, and community outreach. Finally, we had the time to do it.
While basketball has equipped me with leadership skills and life experiences, it is only one part of who I am. As a socially aware, intellectual, and introspective individual, I value creative expression and independence. My life’s mission is to reach my full potential in order to help others reach their own.
Look for your evidence. I’m guessing you leave the first paragraph knowing that basketball was a big part of this writer’s life. But ask yourself this question: how do I know basketball was a big part of her life?. The answer is in the evidence. Look at all those specific things she shows us: “two solid black lines”, “Gatorade and Fun Dip”, “tournament t-shirts.” We know she was so intimately intertwined with basketball because she proves it by showing us what her life consisted of. Maybe you want to tell people you loved computer programming or horseback riding. What evidence can you point to to prove that love?
This writer plays with our expectations . After they prove their deep acquaintance with basketball in paragraph one, they make an essential pivot by saying this: “but that was only me on the surface.” This comes as a bit of a surprise given how much they discussed basketball in the previous paragraph. They set readers up to expect an essay about how much they love basketball, but then quickly and succinctly clarify that the essay is about to turn in a very different direction (which is a nice hook technique ).
An ending can reframe an opening . You may have heard in your English class that you’re supposed to conclude your essays by restating your thesis. We heard that a lot, too. And while this can work for some papers, you have a lot of options for ending your personal statement. Take a look at what this writer does, for example. Earlier in the essay, she said “that was only me on the surface” when talking about her relationship with basketball. That could essentially serve as the thesis for this essay. But then she ends by returning to that idea in a similar, yet importantly different way, saying “While basketball has equipped me with leadership skills and life experiences, it is only one part of who I am.” In a way, she does restate a concept she opened the essay with, but she does so by more fully fleshing out the idea, clarifying not only that the basketball player was the “surface” version of herself, but those opening details weren’t even indicative of the main things she learned from basketball (which are “leadership skills and life experiences”).
Common App Essay Example #9 Superpowers
When I was a little girl, I imagined I had superpowers. Deadly lasers would shoot from my eyes pulverizing the monsters hiding under my bed. Mom would wonder where I had magically disappeared to after I turned invisible as she forced me to eat that plate of broccoli. It was the wish I made on every birthday candle and upon every bright star.
Who knew my dream would come true.
I discovered my first power when I turned 14. My mom had been diagnosed with Ovarian cancer my freshman year of high school. Seated alone in my room, I became lost in a cycle of worry and panic. In the midst of my downward spiral, I reached out for a small bristled paintbrush, guiding it across the canvas—the motion gave me peace. My emotions spilled out onto the canvas, staining my clothes with a palette of blues and blacks. A sense of calm replaced the anxiety and fear which had gripped me tightly for so many months. Painting gave me the power to heal myself and find peace in a scary situation.
Little did I know, sharing my superpower would lead me to unfamiliar parts of my city. I was alerted to trouble at an elementary school in Dallas where students’ access to the arts was under threat from budget cuts. I joined forces with the principal and the school’s community service representative to create an afterschool arts program. From paper masks in October to pots of sunshine crafts in March, it did more than teach students to freely draw and color; it created a community where kids connected with the power of art to express joy, hope, and identity. The program, now in its third year, has succeeded in reaching kids deprived of art. Sharing art with these students has given me the power to step outside of my familiar surroundings and connect with kids I never would have met otherwise. I am grateful for the power of art to not only heal but to also connect with others.
I knew my powers worked on a local level but I wanted to reach out globally. For four years, I have been searching for a way to defeat the scourge of child marriage, a leading cause of poverty in rural India. I discovered a formula in which girls’ education successfully defeats child marriage as part of my capstone project through the Academy of Global Studies (AGS) program at my school.
I took my powers overseas, flying 8,535 miles to arrive at a dilapidated school in the bleak slums of Jaipur, India. While conducting interviews with pre-adolescent girls stuffed into dusty classrooms, I learned of their grey routines: rising early to obtain well-water, cooking, cleaning and caring for younger siblings prior to rushing to school. Despite the efforts of keeping these girls in school to prevent child marriage, their school relied on rote memorization without any creative arts programming. As I organized my art project for these girls, I was unsure if my powers would reach them. Their initial skepticism and uncertainty slowly transformed into wonder and joy as they brought their bright paper fish cut-outs to life. The experience opened my eyes to the power of art to form universal connections, and it inspires me to share and strengthen its force within the lives of all children.
Much of the little girl yearning for superpowers remains a part of me. But now I have moved beyond wishing for powers to acquiring a deeper understanding of how superpowers work. While I never fulfilled my wish to run at lightning speeds or shoot spiderwebs from my fingers, my experiences with art have taught me that the greatest superpowers lie within each of us—the powers to create, express, and connect in meaningful ways. Every girl deserves the chance to dream, I am just lucky mine came true.
The metaphor stays consistent. One of the joys of this essay is that the writer applies fantastical language to real events. In doing this, she demonstrates how her desire for fantastical “superpowers” in her youth actualized as her real-life, art-related superpowers. But notice how subtly she manages to keep the “superpower” concept in our heads. Phrases like “alerted to trouble,” “joined forces,” and “defeat the scourge” show a nice degree of craft , and couple with her more overt mentioning of “powers” to illustrate her perception of herself as a superhero. By making these small moves throughout the essay, she not only keeps a consistent metaphor running throughout, but she also achieves…
…a surprising but inevitable ending, two characteristics we encourage you to keep in mind when thinking about ways to end your personal statement . What’s inevitable about this ending? Well, consider those subtle moves with metaphor we talked about above; all throughout the essay, she’s essentially been making the argument that she has developed her own superpowers. When we get to the end, it feels like there’s no other option but for her to realize this. What’s surprising? Notice the shift in her desires from the essay’s outset. In the opening paragraph, her younger self conceives of superpowers as having to do with “deadly lasers” shooting from her eyes and “pulverizing” literal “ monsters.” That’s changed at the end, hasn’t it? She concludes by making clear that she still kind of wants to be able to “run at lightning speeds,” but more than that, she’s found gratitude for superpowers she thinks are more important: expression, creation, connection (showing maturation through insight ).
Common App Essay Example #10 Does Every Life Matter?
Does every life matter? Because it seems like certain lives matter more than others, especially when it comes to money.
I was in eighth grade when a medical volunteer group that my dad had led to Northern Thailand faced a dilemma of choosing between treating a patient with MDR-TB or saving $5000 (the estimated treatment cost for this patient) for future patients. I remember overhearing intense conversations outside the headquarters tent. My dad and his friend were arguing that we should treat the woman regardless of the treatment cost, whereas the others were arguing that it simply cost too much to treat her. Looking back, it was a conflict between ideals—one side argued that everyone should receive treatment whereas the other argued that interventions should be based on cost-effectiveness. I was angry for two reasons. First, because my father lost the argument. Second, because I couldn’t logically defend what I intuitively believed: that every human being has a right to good health. In short, that every life matters.
Over the next four years I read piles of books on social justice and global health equity in order to prove my intuitive belief in a logical manner. I even took online courses at the undergraduate and graduate level. But I failed to find a clear, logical argument for why every life mattered. I did, however, find sound arguments for the other side, supporting the idea that society should pursue the well-being of the greatest number, that interventions should mitigate the most death and disability per dollar spent. Essentially, my research screamed, “Kid, it’s all about the numbers.”
But I continued searching, even saving up pocket money to attend a summer course on global health at Brown University. It was there that I met Cate Oswald, a program director for Partners in Health (PIH), an organization that believed “the idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world.” It was like finding a ray of light in the darkness.
Refueled with hope, I went back to find the answer, but this time I didn’t dive into piles of books or lectures. I searched my memories. Why was I convinced that every life mattered?
When the woman with MDR-TB came to our team, she brought along with her a boy that looked about my age. Six years have passed since I met him, but I still remember the gaze he gave me as he left with his mother. It wasn’t angry, nor was it sad. It was, in a way, serene. It was almost as if he knew this was coming. That burdened me. Something inside me knew this wasn’t right. It just didn’t feel right. Perhaps it was because I, for a second, placed myself in his shoes, picturing what I’d feel if my mother was the woman with MDR-TB.
Upon reflection, I found that my answer didn’t exist in books or research, but somewhere very close from the beginning—my intuition. In other words, I didn’t need an elaborate and intricate reason to prove to myself that health is an inalienable right for every human being—I needed self-reflection.
So I ask again, “Does every life matter?” Yes. “Do I have solid, written proof?” No.
Paul Farmer once said, “The thing about rights is that in the end you can’t prove what is a right.” To me, global health is not merely a study. It’s an attitude—a lens I use to look at the world—and it’s a statement about my commitment to health as a fundamental quality of liberty and equity.
What’s the big idea? Here’s a writer who thoroughly understands their own argument, knowing everything from its broader applications to its minute components. They kinda state the essay’s big idea right at the beginning, don’t they? By asking “does every life matter?”, they immediately frame the essay with its two key values : health and equity.
Clear challenges lead to clear actions. The writer pretty explicitly articulates the essay’s challenge at the end of the second paragraph, saying that “[they] couldn’t logically defend what [they] intuitively believed: that every human being has a right to good health.” Having so clearly established the essay’s challenge makes it easy for them to show how experiences and activities (e.g., “summer course on global health at Brown…”) were done in response to those challenges. Think about it this way: someone else taking that summer course at Brown may have been there for completely different reasons, right? Rather than equity, maybe that person was more motivated by a love of scientific innovation in medicine. That’s great for that person, but it doesn’t feel like an accurate description of what put this writer there, yes? We know what they care about, and because of this, we understand the motivations behind the actions they show us.
Be cautious when using quotes. A lot of writers are tempted to include famous quotes right at the beginning of their essays. This quote is perfect! I imagine them thinking, it aligns clearly with my values! That may be true, and while you may really want to encourage others to “be the change they want to see in the world,” or understand that a “penny saved is a penny earned,” using quotes in this way risks making your essay sound cliché . This is not to say that you can’t use quotes at all. Rather, if you are going to use them, you need to think of uncommon ways to include them. This writer accomplishes this for two reasons:
The quote comes at the end of the essay. When starting an essay with a quote, it often has the effect of putting the focus on someone besides the essay’s writer. By including at the end, the writer uses the quote as a way to show something they’ve learned.
It’s not a super-common quote. At least when compared to some of the more often used quotes from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, or Ben Franklin.
Common App Essay Example #11 The Daily Show
For over two years, my final class of the day has been nontraditional. No notes, no tests, no official assignments. Just a twenty-three minute lecture every Monday through Thursday, which I watched from my couch. Professor Jon Stewart would lecture his class about the news of the day, picking apart the absurdities of current events.
The Daily Show inspired me to explore the methods behind the madness of the world Stewart satirized. Although I’d always had a passion for the news, I evolved from scrolling through Yahoo ’s homepage to reading articles from The New York Times and The Economist . I also began to tie in knowledge I learned in school. I even caught The Daily Show inexcusably putting a picture of John Quincy Adams at a table with the founding fathers instead of John Adams! Thanks, APUSH.
Clearly, The Daily Show has a political slant. However, Stewart convinced me that partisan media, regardless of its political affiliation, can significantly impact its viewers’ political beliefs. I wrote a psychology paper analyzing the polarizing effects of the media and how confirmation bias leads already opinionated viewers to ossify their beliefs. As a debater, I’ve learned to argue both sides of an issue, and the hardest part of this is recognizing one’s own biases. I myself had perhaps become too biased from my viewing of The Daily Show , and ultimately this motivated me to watch CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News, allowing me to assimilate information from opposing viewpoints.
I embraced my new role as an intellectual moderator in academic discourse… at my friend’s 17th birthday party. It was there that two friends started arguing over the Baltimore riots. One argued that the anti-police rhetoric of the protest was appalling; the other countered by decrying the clear presence of race discrimination still in the country. Both had their biases: the friend who argued on behalf of the police was the son of a police officer, while my friend who defended the protests personally knew people protesting in Baltimore. I questioned both on their positions, and ultimately, both reconsidered the other’s perspective.
However, I began to wonder: was I excusing myself from the responsibility of taking a position on key issues? Perhaps there are times that I shouldn’t merely understand both sides, but actually choose one. In biology, for example, we studied the debates over evolution and climate change. Is it my role, as an informed student, to advocate both sides of the debate, despite one side being overwhelmingly supported by scientific evidence? Maybe I must sometimes shed my identity as Devil’s advocate and instead be an advocate for my own convictions.
Although I don’t have a news (or fake news) network where I can voice my opinions, I look towards further assessing my own viewpoints while maintaining my role as an impartial academic debater. I am eager to delve into an intellectual environment that challenges me to decide when to be objective and when to embrace my bias and argue for my own beliefs.
Practice precision in your examples. When applying to college, it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you haven’t done as many cool things as your peers. I haven’t even started a lion training club! you might think, what school will want me? Don’t fret. Your examples don’t need to be extravagant. They can just be precise. Take a look at this writer’s examples, for example (ha!). Adhering to the proverbial “ show don’t tell ,” they show us fairly commonplace experiences: they watched The Daily Show , they wrote a paper on bias in their psychology class, they moderated discussion at a birthday party. Not to belittle this writer’s experiences, but you agree this is all far from lion training, yes? And yet the examples work well because they feel genuine and specific . So when you’re on the edge of the “I haven’t done enough!” thinking-trap, consider that authenticity can take precedence over grandeur.
Questions can show development . Towards the end of the essay, the writer asks this key question: “was I excusing myself from the responsibility of taking a position on key issues?” When we get to that question, consider what’s changed from the opening paragraphs. They initially described themselves as entertaining all viewpoints in an effort to reduce their bias. But when they ask this question, they offer one of the essay’s insights: they’ve learned that they simply can’t stomach being a devil’s advocate for some issues. Some issues, they realize, compel them to advocate, not speculate.
Turn the essay’s ideas toward the future . The final paragraph gets forward looking . This writer hasn’t articulated what they want to major in or what kind of career they aspire to, and yet we’re able to see how the lessons they’ve learned will inform their future actions. They do this when they explain that they are “eager to delve into an intellectual environment that challenges [them] to decide when to be objective and when to embrace [their] bias and argue for [their] own beliefs.” They’re telling readers something crucial about the kind of person they will be when they get to college. It’s easy for me to see this writer engaging in lively discussions in the dining halls and the dorms. So even if you’re not quite sure what you want to major in yet or what career you want to pursue, ask yourself this question: what are you “eager to delve into” when you get to college? Your own forward-looking ending may come from reflecting on that question.
CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL LIST OF COMMON APP ESSAY PROMPTS
Common app essay example #12 mazes.
My story begins at about the age of two, when I first learned what a maze was. For most people, solving mazes is a childish phase, but I enjoyed artistically designing them. Eventually my creations jumped from their two dimensional confinement, requiring the solver to dive through holes to the other side, or fold part of the paper over, then right back again. At around the age of eight, I invented a way for mazes to carry binary-encoded messages, with left turns and right turns representing 0s and 1s. This evolved into a base-3 maze on the surface of a tetrahedron, with crossing an edge representing a 2. For me, a blank piece of paper represented the freedom to explore new dimensions, pushing the boundaries of traditional maze making.
I found a similar freedom in mathematics. Here's what I wrote when I was 9:
N+B=Z M^2=P E-(L+B)=G C/Y=Z-Q B+B=Y (D-V)^9-(P*L)=J W=(I-V)^2 Y+B+C=R O^2+(Y*O)=T F^3-(T+W)=F^2 V-R=H-U A^3-C=N Y^2+B=L J^2-J=J+(P+I) Y^3=X X-R=M-O D*A-B-(V+Y)=E U-X-O=W P/P=B S-A=U (Z+B)*C=P C(+/-)B=A U+C=H R-L=S-T
The object of puzzles like these was to solve for every letter, assuming they each represented a unique positive integer, and that both sides of each equation are positive. These are not typical assumptions for practical mathematics, and I didn't even need 26 equations. Upon formally learning algebra, I was dismayed that "proper math" operated under a different set of assumptions, that two variables can be equal, or be non-integers, and that you always need as many equations as variables. Yet looking back, I now see that mathematics was so inspirational because there really is no "proper" way, no convention to hold me from discovering a completely original method of thought. Math was, and still is, yet another way for me to freely express my creativity and different way of thinking without constraint.
It's all about freedom. The thoughts are there, they just need a way to escape. The greatest single advancement that delivered even more freedom was my first computer, and on it, one of the first computer games I ever played: "Maze Madness." It was a silly and simple game, but I remember being awed that I could create my own levels. Through the years, I've made thousands (not exaggerating) of levels in a variety of different computer games. I get most excited when I discover a bug that I can incorporate to add a new twist to the traditional gameplay.
A few years ago I grew tired of working within the constraints of most internet games and I wanted to program my own, so I decided to learn the language of Scratch. With it, I created several computer games, incorporating such unordinary aspects of gameplay as the avoidance of time-travel paradoxes, and the control of "jounce," the fourth derivative of position with respect to time. Eventually, I came to realize that Scratch was too limited to implement some of my ideas, so I learned C#, and my potential expanded exponentially. I continue to study programming knowing that the more I learn, the more tools I have to express my creativity.
To me, studying computer science is the next step of an evolution of boundary breaking that has been underway since my first maze.
Show us where it all started. This essay is an origin story of sorts. It’s kind of like a mini-movie that shows us the development of the writer’s interests in computer science. Because of this, it features elements of both our montage and narrative approaches, not neatly fitting into either category (though leaning more to the montage side, using “mazes”—and other things that are maze-like, such as mathematics and CS—as a thematic thread). Normally, we suggest this “origin story” approach for people writing in response to the “ why major? ” supplemental essay prompt, but this writer makes it work for their personal statement. How? They go deeper into their examples than the tighter word limit of a supplemental essay would allow, and they also go broader with the essay’s implications: they frame their interest in computer science as a natural “evolution” of the “boundary breaking that has been underway since [their] first maze.”
Consider artifacts from your past. Before you even read the essay, your eye is drawn to that math maze. It functions as a kind of artifact; it’s not an example of what the writer WOULD create, but a literal recreation of what the writer CREATED when they were nine. It’s almost like the writer taped a photograph in the middle of the essay. But before you go digging through old family photos to find the one of you in the Harry Potter pajamas, consider why this works in this essay. Firstly, the writer is able to easily recreate it simply by typing it out. You can’t (yet) put images in your personal statement, so if you’re thinking about including “artifacts” in your essay, they’d need to be easily understood as text. Secondly, it’s a perfect example. As we touched on in the tip above, the writer’s goal here is to show us that they’ve been “breaking boundar[ies]” since they were young. The math maze isn’t a novelty included for its own sake, but organically arrived at “proof” of the writer’s overarching argument.
Walk the context-line. If you’re like us, when you think “maze,” you think about manicured hedges creating confusing patterns of travel. It becomes clear, though, that those aren’t the kinds of mazes this writer has in mind. This shift in thinking doesn’t really inhibit our understanding of the content though, does it? This is because the writer manages to provide just enough context that we can follow along without getting lost. The third sentence of the essay is a great example of this: “Eventually my creations jumped from their two dimensional confinement, requiring the solver to dive through holes to the other side, or fold part of the paper over, then right back again.” Phrases like “two dimensional” and “fold part of the paper,” clarify that when this writer talks about mazes, they’re not talking about hedges. Rather, they’re talking about puzzles created with pieces of paper. The clarification is economical, as they never give us a sentence that says something to the effect of this: whereas many people think of mazes as things you walk through, I’ve created mazes out of paper since I was a kid . They don’t give us that sentence because they don’t need to . They fill us in along the way, and are thus able to save their word count to develop bigger ideas rather than getting bogged down in clarification.
Common App Essay Example #13 Growing Up in Lebanon
I am [Student’s name]. I was named after my father and grandfather. I was born, raised and currently reside in the Phoenician city of Sidon, a port city in the south of Lebanon along the Mediterranean. I was raised speaking Arabic and, at age 6, I began attending French Community School where the language of instruction is French. Thus, English is my third language.
While I have been fortunate in many ways, I have had my share of challenges growing up in Lebanon. In 2006, I witnessed my first war, which broke in the south of Lebanon and resulted in the displacement of thousands of people into my hometown. Hearing the bombs and seeing the images of destruction around me certainly impacted me. However, the greater impact, was working with my father to distribute basic aid to the refugees. I visited one site where three families were cramped up in one small room but still managed to make the best of the situation by playing cards and comforting each other. Working with the refugees was very rewarding and their resilience was inspiring. The refugees returned home and the areas destroyed were largely rebuilt. This experience showed me the power of community and the importance of giving back.
I am blessed with a family who has supported my ambitious academic and social pursuits. My parents have always worked hard to provide me with interesting developmental opportunities, be it a ballet performance at the Met, a Scientific Fair at Beirut Hippodrome, or a tour of London’s Houses of Parliament. Because of the value they placed on education, my parents placed me in a competitive Catholic school despite my family’s Muslim background. Today, my close friends consist of my classmates from various religious and social backgrounds.
In 2012 and 2013, I had the opportunity to attend summer programs at UCLA and Yale University. The programs were incredibly rewarding because they gave me a taste of the excellent quality and diversity of education available in the United States. At Yale University, my roommate shared with me stories about the customs in his hometown of Shanghai. Other experiences, such as the mock board meeting of a technology company to which students from different backgrounds brought in divergent business strategies, affirmed my belief in the importance of working toward a more inclusive global community. I believe the United States, more so than any other country, can offer a challenging, engaging and rewarding college education with opportunities for exposure to a diverse range of students from across the globe.
I intend to return to Lebanon upon graduation from college in order to carry on the legacy of my grandfather and father through developing our family business and investing in our community. My grandfather, who never graduated from high school started a small grocery store with limited resources. Through hard work, he grew his business into the largest grocery store in my hometown, Khan Supermarket. My father, who attended only one year of college, transformed it into a major shopping center.
Like my father, I grew up involved in the business and have a passion for it. I’ve worked in various roles at the store, and, in 2012, I worked on a project to implement an automated parking system, contacting vendors from around the globe and handling most of the project on my own from planning to organization and coordination. I enjoyed every bit of it, taking pride in challenging myself and helping my father.
My hard work has driven me to become the top-ranked student in my school, and I am confident that my ambition and desire to contribute to the community will ensure my success in your program. I look forward to learning from the diverse experiences of my peers and sharing my story with them, thus enriching both our learning experiences. And I look forward to becoming the first man in my family to finish college.
What makes for a good narrative topic? One of the more (most?) challenging parts of writing a personal statement is deciding what to write about. This essay features a topic that fulfills the two criteria we think make for an effective narrative topic : it features compelling challenges and great insight. In the context of college admissions essays, not many students are writing about experiences with war. Now, just because you may have not experienced war doesn’t mean you need to preclude yourself from writing a narrative essay. But do understand how a story about, say, not making the soccer team, may sound to an admissions officer who just read this essay. To be clear, we’re not saying that failing to make the soccer team was an easy experience for you. We are saying that it’s a topic that will be more difficult to stand out with. So if this essay checks the “compelling challenges” box, it checks the “insight” box by showing us how…
…the origins of the values prove motivation for future action. Ask yourself why the writer describes “[distributing] basic aid to the refugees” in his hometown. It’s an example of something, yes? But what does he want it to be an example of? Stuck? Look towards the end of that paragraph, where he writes that “This experience showed me the power of community and the importance of giving back.” Okay! So he wanted to give us an example of where his valuing “community” and “giving back” came from. Later on in the essay, do you ever get the sense that “community” and “giving back” has to do with what he hopes to do in the future? Take a look at the fifth paragraph. There, he writes that he “intend[s] to return to Lebanon upon graduation from college in order to carry on the legacy of [his] grandfather and father through developing [their] family business and investing in [their] community.” See the development there? Obviously, a bunch of necessary things happen in the middle, but by focusing on those two moments we see the “aha!” behind the insight: his experiences distributing aid were the origins of his core values, which clearly relate to what he hopes to do in the future.
Ending by returning to the beginning. At first, it may feel like the writer tells us about his name simply to give us a bit of background on himself. But his ending digs a bit deeper into his name, doesn’t it? Opening by telling us that he was “named after [his] father and grandfather” creates an immediate connection to those two male role models in his life. He ends the essay by clarifying a key aspect of this connection: he wants to “carry on the legacy of [his] grandfather and father” by “becoming the first man in [his] family to finish college.” So his ending isn’t simply him restating that he was named after his father and grandfather, but rather an expansion on the significance of that fact.
Common App Essay Example #14 Endodontics
As a kid I was always curious. I was unafraid to ask questions and didn’t worry how dumb they would make me sound. In second grade I enrolled in a summer science program and built a solar-powered oven that baked real cookies. I remember obsessing over the smallest details: Should I paint the oven black to absorb more heat? What about its shape? A spherical shape would allow for more volume, but would it trap heat as well as conventional rectangular ovens? Even then I was obsessed with the details of design.
And it didn’t stop in second grade.
A few years later I designed my first pair of shoes, working for hours to perfect each detail, including whether the laces should be mineral white or diamond white. Even then I sensed that minor differences in tonality could make a huge impact and that different colors could evoke different responses.
In high school I moved on to more advanced projects, teaching myself how to take apart, repair, and customize cell phones. Whether I was adjusting the flex cords that connect the IPS LCD to the iPhone motherboard, or replacing the vibrator motor, I loved discovering the many engineering feats Apple overcame in its efforts to combine form with function.
And once I obtained my driver’s license, I began working on cars. Many nights you’ll find me in the garage replacing standard chrome trim with an elegant piano black finish or changing the threads on the stitching of the seats to add a personal touch, as I believe a few small changes can transform a generic product into a personalized work of art.
My love of details applies to my schoolwork too.
I’m the math geek who marvels at the fundamental theorems of Calculus, or who sees beauty in A=(s(s-a)(s-b)(s-c))^(1/2). Again, it’s in the details: one bracket off or one digit missing and the whole equation collapses. And details are more than details, they can mean the difference between negative and positive infinity, an impossible range of solutions.
I also love sharing this appreciation with others and have taken it upon myself to personally eradicate mathonumophobiconfundosis, my Calculus teacher’s term for “extreme fear of Math.” A small group of other students and I have devoted our after-school time to tutoring our peers in everything from Pre-Algebra to AP Calculus B/C and I believe my fluency in Hebrew and Farsi has helped me connect with some of my school’s Israeli and Iranian students. There’s nothing better than seeing a student solve a difficult problem without me saying anything.
You probably think I want to be a designer. Or perhaps an engineer?
Wrong. Well, kind of.
Actually, I want to study Endodontics, which is (I’ll save you the Wikipedia look-up) a branch of dentistry that deals with the tooth pulp and the tissues surrounding the root of a tooth. As an Endodontist, I’ll be working to repair damaged teeth by performing precision root canals and implementing dental crowns. Sound exciting? It is to me.
The fact is, it’s not unlike the work I’ve been doing repairing cellphone circuits and modifying cars, though there is one small difference. In the future I’ll still be working to repair machines, but this machine is one of the most sophisticated machines ever created: the human body. Here, my obsession with details will be as crucial as ever. A one millimeter difference can mean the difference between a successful root canal and a lawsuit.
The question is: will the toothbrushes I hand out be mineral white or diamond white?
A clear claim, supported by comprehensive examples. Here’s an essay that states one of its core arguments early on: the writer has always been “obsessed with the details of design.” A key goal of the paragraphs following that claim is to show readers what detail-obsession looked like for this writer, specifically. They pull on varied examples to accomplish this goal, showing us everything from their obsession over what shade of white to use for a shoe to their stitching threads on car seats. Notice how these examples come from different parts of the writer’s life. Starting all the way back in second grade, they focus on different moments from their life in chronological order that show something about their detail-oriented mindset. The result is that we understand not simply that the writer is “obsessed with the details of design,” but that they have always been this way.
A career can lead to your thread. The core of a montage essay is its guiding thread, the idea that ties all the examples together. Later on in the essay, it becomes clear that this writer has a confident sense of what career they want to pursue: endodontics. But the thread of this essay isn’t exactly endodontics itself—rather, they use various qualities they think are vital to the work of an endodontist—like obsession over details and compassion—as the guiding thread. Tying together their examples in this way makes clear to readers how informed this writer is about their aspirations, while allowing for some surprise with the ending (more on that in a sec). They know key characteristics an endodontist must have, and have deeply reflected on how they embody those characteristics.
Addressing the reader requires finesse. Toward the end of the essay the writer does something so confidently and seamlessly that you may not have stopped to consider how unique it was: they address the reader. What? They did? You may be asking. Yes, they did: “ You probably think I want to be a designer. Or perhaps an engineer?” (bold added). So what? You may be asking. Well, we’ve seen a lot of essays where this kind of thing doesn’t work. In an effort to be cheeky and coy, writers put their foot in their mouth asserting something about how the reader perceives them. The thing is that you need to be in total control of how you have presented yourself in order to make a move like this. This writer has that control. Readers are thinking that the writer would want to be an engineer or designer, and so the subtle move works, making the ending both surprising and, in hindsight, inevitable .
Common App Essay Example #15 With Debate
The clock was remarkably slow as I sat, legs tightly crossed, squirming at my desk. “Just raise your hand,” my mind pleaded, “ask.” But despite my urgent need to visit the restroom, I remained seated, begging time to move faster. You see, I was that type of kid to eat French Fries dry because I couldn’t confront the McDonalds cashier for some Heinz packets. I was also the type to sit crying in front of school instead of asking the office if it could check on my late ride. Essentially, I chose to struggle through a problem if the solution involved speaking out against it.
My diffidence was frustrating. My parents relied on me, the only one able to speak English, to guide them, and always anticipated the best from me. However, as calls for help grew, the more defunct I became. I felt that every move I made, it was a gamble between success and failure. For me, the fear of failure and disappointment far outweighed the possibility of triumph, so I took no action and chose to silently suffer under pressure.
Near meltdown, I knew something needed to be done. Mustering up the little courage I had, I sought ways to break out of my shell—without luck. Recreational art classes ended in three boring months. I gave up Self Defense after embarrassing myself in class. After-school band, library volunteering, and book clubs ended similarly. Continued effort yielded nothing.
Disillusioned and wrung dry of ideas, I followed my mom’s advice and joined a debate club. As expected, the club only reaffirmed my self-doubt. Eye contact? Greater volume? No thanks.
But soon, the club moved on from “how to make a speech” lessons to the exploration of argumentation. We were taught to speak the language of Persuasion, and play the game of Debate. Eventually, I fell in love with it all.
By high school, I joined the school debate team, began socializing, and was even elected to head several clubs. I developed critical and analytical thinking skills, and learned how to think and speak spontaneously.
I became proud and confident. Moreover, I became eager to play my role in the family, and family relations strengthened. In fact, nowadays, my parents are interested in my school’s newest gossip.
Four years with debate, and now I’m the kid up at the white board; the kid leading discussions; and the kid standing up for her beliefs.
More importantly, I now confront issues instead of avoiding them. It is exciting to discover solutions to problems that affect others, as I was able to do as part of the 1st Place team for the 2010 United Nations Global Debates Program on climate change and poverty. I take a natural interest in global issues, and plan to become a foreign affairs analyst or diplomat by studying international affairs with a focus on national identity.
In particular, I am interested in the North-South Korean tension. What irreconcilable differences have prompted a civilization to separate? Policy implications remain vague, and sovereignty theories have their limits—how do we determine what compromises are to be made? And on a personal level, why did my grandfather have to flee from his destroyed North Korean hometown--and why does it matter?
I see a reflection of myself in the divide at the 38th parallel because I see one part isolating itself in defense to outside threats, and another part coming out to face the world as one of the fastest- developing nations. Just as my shy persona before debate and extroverted character after debate are both part of who I am, the Korean civilization is also one. And just as my parents expect much from me, the first of my family to attend college, I have grand expectations for this field of study.
An image can tell your story. Here’s a statement the writer could have used to describe herself when she was younger: “I was shy.” But here’s the thing: a lot of other people could have written the same thing to describe themselves, too. General assertions like “I was shy”, “I am devoted to basketball” or “I am Catholic,” miss an opportunity to show readers more about you, specifically . This writer uses short, clear images to seize that opportunity. Take a look at the opening paragraph, where she says that she was the “type of kid to eat French Fries dry because I couldn’t confront the McDonalds cashier for some Heinz packets.” Now THAT’S a great way to show us what shyness looked like for this writer, specifically.
Expand the activity to other parts of your life. Your extracurriculars may be really important to you. The thing is, there are a few different places in your college application to show readers what you do in and outside of school (your activities list , for example). Because of this, you should think of the personal statement as a way to expand on , not simply repeat, what comes up in other parts of your application. It’s virtually guaranteed “debate club” is on this writer’s activities list. But you know what that writer probably couldn’t have included on that activities list entry? How debate led her to “[begin] socializing”, be the “kid up at the white board”, or become “eager to play [her] role in [her] family.” She’s using her personal statement to add nuance and context and meaning to her activities, not simply list the things she does.
What a good “going broad” ending can look like. An English teacher may have told you to end your analysis essays by “going broad.” Ours did. Here’s something you may be happy to hear: “going broad” is one way to end your personal statements, too. This writer does this to great effect, using the metaphor of the divide at the 38th parallel to refer to her own development throughout the essay. How can this work for you? Well, first you need to be clear on what you’re saying has changed about you in your own personal statement. Then you might ask yourself this question: where else in my life have I seen similar dynamics at play, either internally or externally? Reflecting on her Korean identity, this writer found the means to broaden the ideas of her essay to other contexts—and upleveled her writing nicely by doing so.
S pecial thanks to my friend Nick Muccio for the great analysis in this post.

Rather than candy, Nick (he/him) went searching for people’s vacuum cleaners when trick or treating. He’s since found other ways to help people clean, usually involving their essays (though he has great ideas on carpet maintenance, too). He earned a degree in Psychology from Bates College, where he rowed boats and acted in plays. Teaching high schoolers English for seven years taught him about the importance of presence and knitting sweaters. He sweats a lot, usually on purpose, and usually involving running shoes, a bike, or a rock climbing harness. His greatest fear? Heights. His greatest joys? Numerous, though shared laughter is up there.

Want help on your college essays?
The CEG mission is to bring more ease, purpose, and joy to the college application process via our library of free resources (much like this blog post).
CEG also offers one-on-one essay help to students who need a little extra support. Learn more about our comprehensive one-on-one essay coaching right here . And we’re proud to be a one-for-one company, which means that for every student who pays, we provide free support to a low-income student. If you identify as low-income, click here .
Want more amazing essay examples?
26 Outstanding College Essay Examples 2020/2021 12 Outstanding Personal Statement Examples + Analysis for Why They Worked 14 Scholarship Essay Examples That Won Thousands 17 UC Essay Examples (AKA Personal Insight Questions)


Brown University 2022-23 Supplemental Essay Prompt Guide
Brown university 2022-23 application essay question explanations.
The Requirements: 3 essays of 250 words
Supplemental Essay Type(s): Why , Community , Activity, Diversity
Brown’s Open Curriculum allows students to explore broadly while also diving deeply into their academic pursuits. Tell us about any academic interests that excite you, and how you might use the Open Curriculum to pursue them while also embracing topics with which you are unfamiliar. (200-250 words)
This prompt sounds simple enough: describe what you want to study and why you like it—but not so fast. Since Brown has an open curriculum , you need to show that you have not only some direction, but also the ability to explore and cross-reference new subjects to inform your studies. First things first: the Open Curriculum, a.k.a. the requirement-less Holy Grail coveted by many applicants. It’s not enough to say, “I want to go to Brown because of its uniquely flexible curriculum.” You need to explore exactly how this curriculum—among Brown’s many other assets—will benefit you specifically. Is it because of the way you hope to study your topic of choice? Is it because greater flexibility will help you manage a learning difference? While you might be tempted to get technical or poetic, this essay will be more personal and memorable if you can share a story. By telling the story of how you gained a valuable (to you) skill or adapted to a learning challenge, you will demonstrate a personal relationship to your chosen area of study or broader interest. What excites you and why? When was the last time you got drawn down a Wikipedia rabbit hole—and what was the topic? While you don’t need to recount the unabridged origin story of your interest, try to zero in on a formative experience: the best book you’ve ever read, the first time you spoke French to an actual French person, that one time when you used PEMDAS in the real world! The concrete detail of your story will not only make the case for your genuine interest in topics that are unfamiliar to you (as of yet), but also stick in the memory of your application reader when decision time rolls around.
Brown’s culture fosters a community in which students challenge the ideas of others and have their ideas challenged in return, promoting a deeper and clearer understanding of the complex issues confronting society. This active engagement in dialogue is as present outside the classroom as it is in academic spaces. Tell us about a time you were challenged by a perspective that differed from your own. How did you respond? (200-250 words)
Engaging others in meaningful conversations about important issues can be daunting. It can also be insightful or, unfortunately, polarizing. Brown wants to know about a time when you were challenged by a perspective that differed from your own. So, think back to identify a time when you had a conversation with friends, family, or even mere acquaintances that offered you a new lens through which to view a topic or issue. Maybe you were introduced to multiple new perspectives all at once when you visited family members overseas. How did you respond? Were you able to hear their side? Were you able to effectively communicate yours? If you were to have the conversation again, what would you do or say differently?
In order to impress admissions, you need to show that you’re open-minded and committed to lifelong learning. Brown doesn’t expect you to possess the wisdom and life experience of someone thrice your age, but this Ivy League does hope that you will take opportunities to gain insight into the lives and minds of others. Brown University will present you with the chance to meet and engage with people who are very different from you, so show admissions that you’re game to have the hard talks.
Brown students care deeply about their work and the world around them. Students find contentment, satisfaction, and meaning in daily interactions and major discoveries. Whether big or small, mundane or spectacular, tell us about something that brings you joy. (200-250 words)
Try not to overthink your response to this question. Admissions even goes so far as to say that the focal point of your response can be big or small. So, go with your gut. Maybe, you love watching the sunset on your grandmother’s porch over a pitcher of lemonade and a game of checkers. Or, perhaps, you want to tell admissions about the look on your sister’s face everytime you agree to a custom makeover (neon eyeshadows only). If you want to write about something bigger, maybe it’s the app you’re building to help people find volunteer opportunities in their community or the scientific discovery you made last spring. Whatever it may be, be true to yourself, and you’ll ace this response.
About Sofia Newgren
View all posts by Sofia Newgren »

Interested?
Contact us for information on rates and more!
- I am a * Student Parent Potential Partner School Counselor Private College Counselor
- Name * First Last
- Phone Type Mobile Landline
- Street Address
- Address City State / Province / Region Afghanistan Albania Algeria American Samoa Andorra Angola Anguilla Antarctica Antigua and Barbuda Argentina Armenia Aruba Australia Austria Azerbaijan Bahamas Bahrain Bangladesh Barbados Belarus Belgium Belize Benin Bermuda Bhutan Bolivia Bonaire, Sint Eustatius and Saba Bosnia and Herzegovina Botswana Bouvet Island Brazil British Indian Ocean Territory Brunei Darussalam Bulgaria Burkina Faso Burundi Cambodia Cameroon Canada Cape Verde Cayman Islands Central African Republic Chad Chile China Christmas Island Cocos Islands Colombia Comoros Congo, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Republic of the Cook Islands Costa Rica Croatia Cuba Curaçao Cyprus Czech Republic Côte d'Ivoire Denmark Djibouti Dominica Dominican Republic Ecuador Egypt El Salvador Equatorial Guinea Eritrea Estonia Eswatini (Swaziland) Ethiopia Falkland Islands Faroe Islands Fiji Finland France French Guiana French Polynesia French Southern Territories Gabon Gambia Georgia Germany Ghana Gibraltar Greece Greenland Grenada Guadeloupe Guam Guatemala Guernsey Guinea Guinea-Bissau Guyana Haiti Heard and McDonald Islands Holy See Honduras Hong Kong Hungary Iceland India Indonesia Iran Iraq Ireland Isle of Man Israel Italy Jamaica Japan Jersey Jordan Kazakhstan Kenya Kiribati Kuwait Kyrgyzstan Lao People's Democratic Republic Latvia Lebanon Lesotho Liberia Libya Liechtenstein Lithuania Luxembourg Macau Macedonia Madagascar Malawi Malaysia Maldives Mali Malta Marshall Islands Martinique Mauritania Mauritius Mayotte Mexico Micronesia Moldova Monaco Mongolia Montenegro Montserrat Morocco Mozambique Myanmar Namibia Nauru Nepal Netherlands New Caledonia New Zealand Nicaragua Niger Nigeria Niue Norfolk Island North Korea Northern Mariana Islands Norway Oman Pakistan Palau Palestine, State of Panama Papua New Guinea Paraguay Peru Philippines Pitcairn Poland Portugal Puerto Rico Qatar Romania Russia Rwanda Réunion Saint Barthélemy Saint Helena Saint Kitts and Nevis Saint Lucia Saint Martin Saint Pierre and Miquelon Saint Vincent and the Grenadines Samoa San Marino Sao Tome and Principe Saudi Arabia Senegal Serbia Seychelles Sierra Leone Singapore Sint Maarten Slovakia Slovenia Solomon Islands Somalia South Africa South Georgia South Korea South Sudan Spain Sri Lanka Sudan Suriname Svalbard and Jan Mayen Islands Sweden Switzerland Syria Taiwan Tajikistan Tanzania Thailand Timor-Leste Togo Tokelau Tonga Trinidad and Tobago Tunisia Turkey Turkmenistan Turks and Caicos Islands Tuvalu US Minor Outlying Islands Uganda Ukraine United Arab Emirates United Kingdom United States Uruguay Uzbekistan Vanuatu Venezuela Vietnam Virgin Islands, British Virgin Islands, U.S. Wallis and Futuna Western Sahara Yemen Zambia Zimbabwe Åland Islands Country
- Which best describes you (or your child)? High school senior High school junior College student College grad Other
- How did you find CEA? Internet Search New York Times Guidance counselor/school Social Media YouTube Friend Special Event Delehey College Consulting Other
- Common App and Coalition Essays
- Supplemental Essays
- University of California Essays
- University of Texas Essays
- Resume Review
- Post-Grad Essays
- Specialized Services
- Waitlist Letters
- Agnes Scott College
- Alvernia University
- American University
- Amherst College
- Bard College
- Barnard College
- Baylor University
- Bennington College
- Bentley University
- Berry College
- Bethany College
- Bishop’s University
- Boston College
- Boston University
- Bowdoin College
- Brandeis University
- Brown University
- Bryn Mawr College
- Butler University
- California Institute of Technology (Caltech)
- California Lutheran University
- Capitol Technology University
- Carleton College
- Carnegie Mellon University
- Catawba College
- Centre College
- Chapman University
- Claremont McKenna College
- Clark University
- Colgate University
- College of Mount Saint Vincent
- College of William and Mary
- College of Wooster
- Colorado College
- Colorado School of Mines
- Columbia University
- Cornell University
- Culver-Stockton College
- D'Youville University
- Dartmouth College
- Davidson College
- Duke University
- Earlham College
- Elon University
- Emerson College
- Emory University
- Flagler College
- Fordham University
- George Mason University
- Georgetown University
- Georgia State University
- Georgia Tech
- Gonzaga University
- Harvard University
- Harvey Mudd College
- Haverford College
- Hillsdale College
- Hofstra University
- Illinois Institute of Technology
- Illinois Wesleyan University
- Indiana University Bloomington
- Ithaca College
- Johns Hopkins University
- Kalamazoo College
- Lafayette College
- Lehigh University
- Lewis and Clark College
- Linfield University
- Loyola Marymount University
- Lynn University
- Macalester College
- Malone University
- Manchester University
- Marist College
- Mary Baldwin University
- Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT)
- Meredith College
- Monmouth College
- Moravian University
- Morehouse College
- Mount Holyoke College
- New York University (NYU)
- North Park University
- Northwestern University
- Occidental College
- Oklahoma City University
- Pepperdine University
- Pitzer College
- Pomona College
- Princeton University
- Providence College
- Purdue University
- Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute
- Rice University
- Rutgers University
- Saint Elizabeth University
- Santa Clara University
- Sarah Lawrence College
- Scripps College
- Seattle Pacific University
- Soka University of America
- Southern Methodist University
- Stanford University
- Stonehill College
- SUNY Stony Brook University
- Swarthmore College
- Syracuse University
- Texas A&M University
- Texas Christian University
- The College of Idaho
- The George Washington University
- The New School
- Trinity College
- Tufts University
- Tulane University
- University of California
- University of Chicago
- University of Cincinnati
- University of Colorado Boulder
- University of Florida
- University of Georgia
- University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign
- University of Maryland
- University of Massachusetts Amherst
- University of Miami
- University of Michigan
- University of Minnesota
- University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (UNC)
- University of North Carolina at Charlotte
- University of North Carolina at Greensboro
- University of Notre Dame
- University of Oklahoma
- University of Oregon
- University of Pennsylvania
- University of Pittsburgh
- University of Richmond
- University of San Diego
- University of San Francisco
- University of Southern California (USC)
- University of Tampa
- University of Texas at Austin
- University of Tulsa
- University of Vermont
- University of Virginia (UVA)
- University of Washington
- University of Wisconsin-Madison
- Vanderbilt University
- Vassar College
- Villanova University
- Virginia Tech
- Wake Forest University
- Washington and Lee University
- Washington University in St. Louis
- Wellesley College
- Williams College
- Worcester Polytechnic Institute (WPI)
- Yale University

Want free stuff?
We thought so. Sign up for free instructional videos, guides, worksheets and more!

One-On-One Advising

Common App Essay Prompt Guide

Supplemental Essay Prompt Guide

- YouTube Tutorials
- Our Approach & Team
- Testimonials
- Where Our Students Get In
- CEA Gives Back
- Undergraduate Admissions
- Graduate Admissions
- Private School Admissions
- International Student Admissions
- Academy and Worksheets
- Common App Essay Guide
- Supplemental Essay Guide
- Coalition App Guide
- Admissions Statistics
- Deadline Databases
- Notification Trackers
Undergraduate Admission
How to apply.
Applications to Brown are submitted online via the Common Application. The online system will guide you through the process of providing the supporting credentials appropriate to your status as a first-year or transfer applicant.
- Applying to Brown
Common Application
Begin by creating an account on the Common Application website. Once registered, you will need to add Brown University to your list of colleges by the College Search tab.
The Common Application is divided into three sections:
- Information common to all the schools to which you are applying
- Brown University specific questions
- School forms submitted by your school counselor and academic instructors
Apply Now with the Common Application
Brown University Specific Questions
Questions specific to Brown, including our essays for the 2022-2023 application cycle, are found in the section labeled "Questions." If you are applying to the eight-year Program in Liberal Medical Education (PLME) or the five-year Brown-Rhode Island School of Design Dual Degree Program (BRDD), you must also complete the special program essays.
- Brown’s Open Curriculum allows students to explore broadly while also diving deeply into their academic pursuits. Tell us about any academic interests that excite you, and how you might use the Open Curriculum to pursue them while also embracing topics with which you are unfamiliar. (200-250 words)
- Brown’s culture fosters a community in which students challenge the ideas of others and have their ideas challenged in return, promoting a deeper and clearer understanding of the complex issues confronting society. This active engagement in dialogue is as present outside the classroom as it is in academic spaces. Tell us about a time you were challenged by a perspective that differed from your own. How did you respond? (200-250 words)
- Brown students care deeply about their work and the world around them. Students find contentment, satisfaction, and meaning in daily interactions and major discoveries. Whether big or small, mundane or spectacular, tell us about something that brings you joy. (200-250 words)
Three essays are required for applicants to the PLME:
- Committing to a future career as a physician while in high school requires careful consideration and self-reflection. How do you feel your personal background provides you with a unique perspective of medicine? (250 word limit)
- Health care is constantly changing, as it is affected by racial and social disparities, economics, politics, and technology, among others. How will you, as a future physician, make a positive impact? (250 word limit)
- How do you envision the Program in Liberal Medical Education (PLME) helping you to meet your academic, personal and professional goals as a person and as a physician of the future? (250 word limit)
One essay is required for applicants to the Brown|RISD Dual Degree Program:
- The Brown|RISD Dual Degree Program draws on the complementary strengths of Brown University and Rhode Island School of Design (RISD) to provide students with the opportunity to explore diverse spheres of academic and creative inquiry, culminating in a capstone project that interrelates the content, approaches, and methods from two distinct learning experiences. Based on your understanding of the academic programs at Brown and RISD and the possibilities created by the BRDD program's broadened learning community, specifically describe how and why the BRDD program would constitute an optimal undergraduate education for you. As part of your answer, be sure to articulate how you might contribute to the Dual Degree community and its commitment to interdisciplinary work. (650 word limit)
Submitting Material
Within the Common Application, you will be presented with either online or paper methods of inviting appropriate school officials and teachers to supply records and recommendations. We suggest that you begin the process early to give them plenty of time to respond before the deadline.
We recommend having all official test scores, transcripts, and recommendations sent through the Common Application. Brown has also partnered with slate.org , through which counselors may upload materials directly for applicants. If this is not an option, please arrange to have your materials sent by email to [email protected] . In the absence of other electronic submission options, items may be faxed to 401-863-9300. Please do not mail duplicate hard copies of items that have been sent to Brown, as this can slow processing times.

Application Fee
To apply to Brown you must submit a $75 non-refundable application fee, or a fee waiver. As part of our commitment to make a Brown University education accessible to students from all income backgrounds, Brown is making automatic application fee waivers available to more students.
Brown will automatically waive the application fee for any student who is enrolled in or eligible for the Federal Free or Reduced Price Lunch program (FRPL), as well as students who are enrolled in federal, state or local programs that aid students from low-income families (for example, TRIO Programs). Additionally, Brown will automatically waive the application fee for any student who belongs to a community-based organization or college access organization that promotes educational opportunity for low-income students.
Applicants to Brown who meet any of these requirements should select the "Brown Specific Fee Waiver" in the "Brown Questions" section of the Common Application. Applicants who do not meet these specific requirements but believe they may qualify for a fee waiver may select the same options in the Common Application supplemented by a fee waiver request. We will accept fee waiver request forms from College Board or NACAC , or school counselors may email a letter of support directly to [email protected] .
Criminal History
We do not consider information on criminal history during our initial round of admission application review. Only upon selecting a pool of admitted candidates do we learn whether you have reported a criminal history, at which point we will offer you an opportunity to explain the circumstances. With this approach, information on misdemeanor or felony convictions can inform, but not determine, admission decisions. This ensures that applicants are evaluated based on their academic profile, extracurricular pursuits and potential fit - not criminal history - and enables us to continue to review this potentially important information.
Deadlines and Notifications
Complete the Common Application by:
- November 1 for Early Decision
- January 3 for Regular Decision
You will receive a confirmation email from the Office of College Admission confirming receipt of your Common Application. It is best to ensure that all application materials are sent by the deadline. However, if your application and application payment/fee waiver are submitted by the deadline, it is acceptable to have some of your supporting materials (transcripts, test scores, letters of recommendation, etc.) arrive within the following week.
- [email protected]
- (206) 229-9904
Cupertino, CA

- Our Philosophy
- Our Results
- Common Application
- College Application Essay Editing
- Extracurricular Planning
- Academic Guidance
- Summer Programs
- Interview Preparation
Middle School
- Pre-High School Consultation
- Boarding School Admissions
College Admissions
- Academic and Extracurricular Profile Evaluation
- Senior Editor College Application Program
- Summer Program Applications
- Private Consulting Program
- Transfer Admissions
- UC Transfer Admissions
- Ivy League Transfer Admissions
Graduate Admissions
- Graduate School Admissions
- MBA Admissions
Private Tutoring
- SAT/ACT Tutoring
- AP Exam Tutoring
- Olympiad Training
Research Programs
- Science Research Program
- Humanities Competitions
- Passion Project Program
- Ad Hoc Consulting
- Athletic Recruitment
- College Acceptance Rates
- National Universities Rankings
- Liberal Arts Colleges Rankings
- Public Schools Rankings
- Transfer Acceptance Rates
- Ivy League Acceptance Rates
- Supplemental Essay Prompts

Common App Essays That Worked
If you are preparing to apply to a number of schools, whether they are smaller liberal arts schools, large public universities, or prestigious and selective private programs, then there is little doubt that the Common Application is in your future.
The Common Application, or Common App as it is often called, is used by hundreds of thousands of high school students each year as they apply to their dream schools.
While the application itself is, of course, very important, perhaps the single most important aspect of the actual Common App are the essay prompts that students are expected to answer as part of their application.

And that is why so many students look for Common App essays that work to get a better idea of what is expected of them.
Even if you are not planning on applying to any school that accepts the Common App, you can still expect to answer a number of personal essay prompts that basically all ask the same question. That question is:
“Who are you, and what do you value?”
Ultimately, that is what the personal essay section of any college application is about. It is the opportunity for applying students to show who they are beyond their resume and list of experiences and accomplishments.
It is their chance to show to admissions officers and admission committees across the country what their values are, what their passions are, what their goals for the future are, and why they feel the school they are applying to is a fantastic fit!
For that reason, you are likely trying to find some Common App essays that work so that you can get a better idea of what is expected of you, the student. However, before we get into the specific Common App essay examples that we think best display what can truly be achieved in this section of a college application, we thought it would be useful to first break down both some basic information about the Common App itself as well as the importance of essay sections in the application process.
At AdmissionSight , we work with fantastic high school students every single application cycle to help them achieve their ultimate admissions goals and get into the schools of their dreams. As it turns out, one of the aspects of the application process that we work with students most is the essay section.
The reason for that is because even the most accomplished students do often feel underdeveloped and lack a certain amount of confidence when it comes to their writing ability. However, you do not have to be a wonderful writer to write wonderful personal essays. In many ways, it is more of an equation than a work of art!
So, without further ado, let’s get started on breaking all the important facts down.
What is the Common Application?
To put it simply, the Common App is the most popular online application system that is used by colleges and universities across the United States. The Common App has, overall, made the application process for high school students a lot simpler.

The primary reason for this is because large portions of the Common App can be sent to multiple schools at one time. That means that students no longer have to start from square one, allowing students the time they need to focus on the more important portions of the application process.
More than 900 schools work with the Common App , but it is really important to make sure that you know which schools that you are targeting do and do not use the Common App.
Overall benefits of the Common App:
The Common App offers a plethora of benefits for both schools and the students applying to them. For schools, the major benefit is that the inclusivity encourages a diverse selection of applicants. For students, the benefits include:
- Applying more quickly to multiple schools
- Avoiding filling out the same information many times
- Receiving updates via email and mobile devices
- Easily managing application requirements and important deadlines
What do I need to fill out the common app?
The Common App gathers information that is commonly required by most institutions. These include personal and parental information, financial data, extracurricular activities, and more. Students must also provide transcripts, test scores (depending on school requirements), along with their response to the essay prompts.
Take a look at the list of required documents for first-time applicants, below:
- Parent/legal guardian information
- Citizenship information
- Military service information
- High school transcript
- Lists of your interest, hobbies, extracurriculars, clubs, community engagement, work experience
- Standardized test scores (based on school requirements)
- List of academic honors and achievements
- List of up to 20 colleges/universities you want to apply to
- Letters of recommendation from counselors, teachers, coaches, employers, mentors (based on school requirements)
- Personal essay
Depending on the schools you are applying to, you may also need:
- Additional essays or answers to prompts
- A portfolio to show your work
Optional documents include:
- Common App fee waiver form
- College-specific fee waiver form
Why the personal essay section of your application is so important
Now that you know a bit more about the Common App and what you will need to have to complete it, you may be wondering who the personal essay section stands alone in a unique way.
That fact has become even more true in recent years.
The reason for that is because, along with the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, many schools – including many of the best schools in the country – have put a pause on standardized test scores being a requirement. That means thousands of students are applying to schools like Harvard, Princeton, Stanford and MIT without sending in SAT or ACT scores.

For that reason, a student’s personal essays may even be the second-most important aspect of their application just behind a student’s high school grade point average. But why are they so important? Here are some of the reasons why:
They are reliable
As we just mentioned, a student’s GPA has taken on an inflated importance since the COVID-19 pandemic began. Still, while a low GPA can absolutely put a student out of the running for a spot at a very prestigious and selective school, it is not on its own enough to get a student in. That is where essays can come in and play a very important role!
A student’s essay has the ability to make a powerful and lasting impression on an admissions officer or committee. While thousands of students will likely have great point averages that are basically indiscernible from one another, no two personal essays are alike. That is why taking advantage of this opportunity is so important!
They are personalized and unique
Just like personal connections in the real world can lead to incredibly personal and professional opportunities, so too can a personal connection to a given school lead to opportunities.
Essays that allow the reader (IE admissions officer) on who the student is as a person will give the admissions officer a much better idea of whether or not that student would be a good fit at the school.

Don’t believe us? Take a look at what Harvard has been looking for in applicants during the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic:
“We also value forms of contribution that are unrelated to this pandemic, such as working to register voters, protect the environment, combat racial injustice and inequities or stop online harassment among peers,” the school announced in a statement. “Our interest is not in whether students created a new project or demonstrated leadership during this period.
We, emphatically, do not seek to create a competitive public service ‘Olympics’ in response to this pandemic. What matters to us is whether students’ contribution or service is authentic and meaningful to them and to others, whether that contribution is writing regular notes to frontline workers or checking in with neighbors who are isolated. We will assess these contributions and services in the context of the obstacles students are facing.”
Students who are able to take the fairly general prompts from the Common App and make them highly personal and unique will be giving themselves a great chance at getting into any school on their list.
They give students a chance to be introspective
So much of the college application process has to do with a student trying to prove that they are good enough for the schools that they are applying to.
Ultimately, it can end up feeling a bit boastful. Luckily, the personal essay section of the application gives students the chance to display humility and introspection.
The reason why this is so important for students to take advantage of is because it will allow them to display a level of maturity that admissions officers are always looking for in prospective students.
They allow students to display skills crucial to success now and in the future
Just like students invest time and money into the school that they end up going to, those schools are investing in the students that they accept. After all, the success and prestige of a school is dependent on what members of its alumni achieve.
Personal expression, self-advocacy and effective communication of goals are important skills that continue to serve people throughout their lives.
They will help people get dream jobs, achieve major professional accomplishments and much more. A great writer is a sign of a great thinker, and schools are always looking for great thinkers to fill their classrooms!
What are the Common App prompts?
For students using the Common App to apply to one or many schools, they will get to choose from one of seven Common App prompts. Students are expected to answer the prompt of their choosing with a 650-word essay.
When it comes to supplemental essays (which many schools ask students to send in along with their Common App essay response), the length of these often range from 150 words to 450 words.
Here are the seven Common App essay prompts:
- Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
- The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
- Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
- Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
- Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
- Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
- Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
Common App essay tips
When it comes to achieving what is expected of you in your essay, it really all has to do with making sure that you are giving admissions officers what they are looking for.

Here are the three questions you should make sure anyone reading your essay can answer by the time they finish your essay, no matter which prompts your choose:
- Who is this person?
- Will this person contribute something of value to our campus?
- Can this person write?
Three more Common App essay tips include the three following things every student should make sure they are doing before they send in their final draft:
- Brainstorm (I think it’s the most important step).
- Structure your essay according to your topic.
- Draft. Revise. Repeat.
Common App essays that worked
So now that you have gotten this far, you are probably wanting to take a look at some college essays that worked for the Common App. Well, you don’t have to wait any longer because we’ve got you covered!
Take a look at some fantastic Common App essay examples, below:
Common App essay example No. 1
In eighth grade, I was asked to write my hobbies and career goals, but I hesitated. Should I just make something up? I was embarrassed to tell people that my hobby was collecting cosmetics and that I wanted to become a cosmetic chemist.
I worried others would judge me as too girlish and less competent compared to friends who wanted to work at the UN in foreign affairs or police the internet to crack down on hackers. The very fact that I was insecure about my “hobby” was perhaps proof that cosmetics were trivial, and I was a superficial girl for loving it.
But cosmetics was not just a pastime, it was an essential part of my daily life. In the morning I got up early for my skincare routine, using brightening skin tone and concealing blemishes, which gave me energy and confidence throughout the day.
At bedtime, I relaxed with a soothing cleansing ritual applying different textures and scents of liquids, creams, sprays, and gels. My cosmetic collection was a dependable companion – rather than hiding it away, I decided instead to learn more about cosmetics, and to explore.
However, cosmetic science wasn’t taught at school so I designed my own training. It began with the search for a local cosmetician to teach me the basics of cosmetics, and each Sunday I visited her lab to formulate organic products.
A year of lab practice taught me how little I knew about ingredients, so my training continued with independent research on toxins. I discovered that safety in cosmetics was a contested issue amongst scientists, policymakers, companies, and consumer groups, variously telling me there are toxic ingredients that may or may not be harmful.
I was frustrated by this uncertainty, yet motivated to find ways of sharing what I was learning with others.
Research spurred to action. I began writing articles on the history of toxic cosmetics, from lead in Elizabethan face powder to lead in today’s lipstick and communicated with a large readership online.
Positive feedback from hundreds of readers inspired me to step up my writing, to raise awareness with my peers, so I wrote a gamified survey for online distribution discussing the slack natural and organic labeling of cosmetics, which are neither regulated nor properly defined.
At school, I saw opportunities to affect real change and launched a series of green chemistry campaigns: the green agenda engaged the school community in something positive and was a magnet for creative student ideas, such as a recent project to donate handmade organic pet shampoo to local dog shelters. By senior year, I was pleased my exploration had gone well.
But on a recent holiday back home, I unpacked and noticed cosmetics had invaded much of my space over the years.
Dresser top and drawers were crammed with unused tubes and jars — once handpicked with loving care — had now become garbage. I sorted through each hardened face powder and discolored lotion, remembering what had excited me about the product and how I’d used it. Examining these mementos led me to a surprising realization: yes, I had been a superficial girl obsessed with clear and flawless skin.
But there was something more too.
My makeup had given me confidence and comfort, and that was okay. I am glad I didn’t abandon the superficial me, but instead acknowledged her, and stood by her to take her on an enlightening and rewarding journey.
Cosmetics led me to dig deeper into scientific inquiry, helped me develop an impassioned voice, and became a tool to connect me with others. Together, I’ve learned that the beauty of a meaningful journey lies in getting lost for it was in the meandering that I found myself.
Common App essay example No. 2
“The Instagram Post”
On “Silent Siege Day,” many students in my high school joined the Students for Life club and wore red armbands with “LIFE” on them. As a non-Catholic in a Catholic school, I knew I had to be cautious in expressing my opinion on the abortion debate. However, when I saw that all of the armband-bearing students were male, I could not stay silent.
I wrote on Instagram, “pro-choice does not necessarily imply pro-abortion; it means that we respect a woman’s fundamental right to make her own choice regarding her own body.”
Some of my peers expressed support but others responded by calling me a dumb bitch, among other names.
When I demanded an apology for the name-calling, I was told I needed to learn to take a joke: “you have a lot of anger, I think you need a boyfriend.” Another one of my peers apparently thought the post was sarcastic (?) and said “I didn’t know women knew how to use sarcasm.”
One by one, I responded. I was glad to have sparked discussion, but by midnight, I was mentally and emotionally exhausted.
Completely overwhelmed by the 140+ comments, I looked to my parents for comfort, assuming they would be proud of me for standing up for my beliefs. But instead, they told me to remove the post and to keep quiet, given the audience. I refused to remove the post but decided to stay silent.
For months, I heard students talking about “The Post,” and a new sense of self-consciousness felt like duct tape over my mouth. As I researched the history of Planned Parenthood (to respond to someone accusing it of “the genocide of black babies”), I became interested in the history of the feminist movement. At the same time, I was studying the Civil Rights Movement in my history class and researching my feminist critique of Ibsen’s A Doll’s House.
I gradually began to realize that refusing to conform to the conventions of society is what propels us toward equality. Martin Luther King was arrested nearly thirty times for ‘civil disobedience’ and Susan B. Anthony for ‘illegal voting.’ Letting the social media backlash silence my own fight for social justice seemed silly and unacceptable.
Before The Post, I naïvely thought that sexism was dead, but I came to see its ubiquity, whether it’s painfully conspicuous or seemingly innocuous. Knowing that young girls are especially vulnerable to constructing gender stereotypes, I Googled “girls empowerment programs” and called Girls on the Run to see how I could help.
As a junior coach, I spend my Monday and Thursday afternoons with middle school girls, running, singing Taylor Swift songs, discussing our daily achievements (I got 100 on my math test!), and setting goals for the next day. The girls celebrate their accomplishments and talk about themselves positively, fully expressing their self-esteem.
After The Post, I also Googled ‘how to be politically active,’ and signed petitions for the Medicare for All Act, the Raise the Wage Act, and the EACH Woman Act, among others.
In response to the transgender military ban, I called the White House (they hung up as soon as I said “as a human rights advocate…,” but I tried). It feels good to sign petitions, but I’m still not doing enough. I want to fight for social justice in the courtroom.
My role model Ruth Bader Ginsburg says, “dissent[ers] speak to a future age… they are writing not for today but for tomorrow.” Retrospectively, I realize that The Post was my voice of dissent―through it, I initiated a campus-wide discussion and openly challenged the majority opinion of my school for the first time.
As I aspire to become a civil rights attorney and the first Asian woman on the Supreme Court (I hope it doesn’t take that long!), I am confident that I will continue to write and speak out for justice ―for tomorrow.
Common App essay example No. 3
“Does Every Life Matter?”
Does every life matter? Because it seems like certain lives matter more than others, especially when it comes to money.
I was in eighth grade when a medical volunteer group that my dad had led to Northern Thailand faced a dilemma of choosing between treating a patient with MDR-TB or saving $5000 (the estimated treatment cost for this patient) for future patients. I remember overhearing intense conversations outside the headquarters tent.
My dad and his friend were arguing that we should treat the woman regardless of the treatment cost, whereas the others were arguing that it simply cost too much to treat her. Looking back, it was a conflict between ideals—one side argued that everyone should receive treatment whereas the other argued that interventions should be based on cost-effectiveness.
I was angry for two reasons. First, because my father lost the argument. Second, I couldn’t logically defend what I intuitively believed: that every human being has a right to good health. In short, every life matters.
Over the next four years, I read piles of books on social justice and global health equity in order to prove my intuitive belief in a logical manner. I even took online courses at the undergraduate and graduate levels. But I failed to find a clear, logical argument for why every life mattered.
I did, however, find sound arguments for the other side, supporting the idea that society should pursue the well-being of the greatest number, that interventions should mitigate the most death and disability per dollar spent. Essentially, my research screamed, “Kid, it’s all about the numbers.”
But I continued searching, even saving up pocket money to attend a summer course on global health at Brown University. It was there that I met Cate Oswald, a program director for Partners in Health (PIH), an organization that believed “the idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world.” It was like finding a ray of light in the darkness.
Refueled with hope, I went back to find the answer, but this time I didn’t dive into piles of books or lectures. I searched my memories. Why was I convinced that every life mattered?
When the woman with MDR-TB came to our team, she brought along with her a boy that looked about my age. Six years have passed since I met him, but I still remember the gaze he gave me as he left with his mother. It wasn’t angry, nor was it sad. It was, in a way, serene. It was almost as if he knew this was coming.
That burdened me. Something inside me knew this wasn’t right. It just didn’t feel right. Perhaps it was because I, for a second, placed myself in his shoes, picturing what I’d feel if my mother was the woman with MDR-TB.
Upon reflection, I found that my answer didn’t exist in books or research, but somewhere very close from the beginning—my intuition. In other words, I didn’t need an elaborate and intricate reason to prove to myself that health is an inalienable right for every human being—I needed self-reflection.
So I ask again, “Does every life matter?” Yes. “Do I have solid, written proof?” No.
Paul Farmer once said, “The thing about rights is that in the end you can’t prove what is a right.” To me, global health is not merely a study. It’s an attitude—a lens I use to look at the world—and it’s a statement about my commitment to health as a fundamental quality of liberty and equity.
Common App essay example No. 4
“Growing Up in Lebanon”
I am [Student’s name]. I was named after my father and grandfather. I was born, raised, and currently reside in the Phoenician city of Sidon, a port city in the south of Lebanon along the Mediterranean. I was raised speaking Arabic and, at age 6, I began attending French Community School where the language of instruction is French. Thus, English is my third language.
While I have been fortunate in many ways, I have had my share of challenges growing up in Lebanon. In 2006, I witnessed my first war, which broke in the south of Lebanon and resulted in the displacement of thousands of people into my hometown.
Hearing the bombs and seeing the images of destruction around me certainly impacted me. However, the greater impact was working with my father to distribute basic aid to the refugees. I visited one site where three families were cramped up in one small room but still managed to make the best of the situation by playing cards and comforting each other.
Working with the refugees was very rewarding and their resilience was inspiring. The refugees returned home and the areas destroyed were largely rebuilt. This experience showed me the power of community and the importance of giving back.
I am blessed with a family who has supported my ambitious academic and social pursuits. My parents have always worked hard to provide me with interesting developmental opportunities, be it a ballet performance at the Met, a Scientific Fair at Beirut Hippodrome, or a tour of London’s Houses of Parliament.
Because of the value they placed on education, my parents placed me in a competitive Catholic school despite my family’s Muslim background. Today, my close friends consist of my classmates from various religious and social backgrounds.
In 2012 and 2013, I had the opportunity to attend summer programs at UCLA and Yale University. The programs were incredibly rewarding because they gave me a taste of the excellent quality and diversity of education available in the United States.
At Yale University, my roommate shared with me stories about the customs in his hometown of Shanghai. Other experiences, such as the mock board meeting of a technology company to which students from different backgrounds brought in divergent business strategies, affirmed my belief in the importance of working toward a more inclusive global community.
I believe the United States, more so than any other country, can offer a challenging, engaging and rewarding college education with opportunities for exposure to a diverse range of students from across the globe.
I intend to return to Lebanon upon graduation from college in order to carry on the legacy of my grandfather and father through developing our family business and investing in our community.
My grandfather, who never graduated from high school, started a small grocery store with limited resources. Through hard work, he grew his business into the largest grocery store in my hometown, Khan Supermarket. My father, who attended only one year of college, transformed it into a major shopping center.
Like my father, I grew up involved in the business and have a passion for it. I’ve worked in various roles at the store, and, in 2012, I worked on a project to implement an automated parking system, contacting vendors from around the globe and handling most of the project on my own from planning to organization and coordination. I enjoyed every bit of it, taking pride in challenging myself and helping my father.
My hard work has driven me to become the top-ranked student in my school, and I am confident that my ambition and desire to contribute to the community will ensure my success in your program.
I look forward to learning from the diverse experiences of my peers and sharing my story with them, thus enriching both our learning experiences. And I look forward to becoming the first man in my family to finish college.
Need help getting into top-tier colleges?
When it comes to getting into top-tier schools, acing the personal essay section is, quite simply, crucial. In order to separate yourself from the pack, writing extraordinary essays is something you must do. In fact, this need is why many students initially contact AdmissionSight.
Our admissions consultants give the students we work with the tools they need to represent themselves as best as possible in their Common App essays and supplemental essays.
If you want to learn more about what we can do to help, contact us today to set up a free consultation .
View all posts

School in Focus: Denison University

Schools that Look Like Hogwarts

Introducing Gen Z College Students

How To Answer College Essay Questions Effectively?

How To Prepare For College Applications

What Are The Best Ways To Pay For College?

Understanding Rolling Deadline

The National Student Leadership Conference

School in Focus: Colorado College

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Building Confidence That Lasts

Understanding Peer Pressure Among Students

Fulbright Scholarship Requirements

Items to Take to College: All You Need To Know

Best High School Summer Programs

How to Earn College Credits in High School?

Guidelines on How to Get into MBA Program

Getting Into Georgetown Medical School

The Personal Statement: The Holy Grail of College Admissions

How Early Should You Prepare for College?

College Rejection

The Competitive Nature of College Admissions for Asian Americans

Why College Admissions Isn’t Perfect

College Admissions Results Are In!

College Consultants Could Make A Difference

Featured in US News & World Report Best Colleges Publication

Ivy League Schools

College Admissions Scandal and Higher Education
Us news rankings.

College Rankings

The College Application

The Modern Day 4.0 and 1600 SAT Score Student Is No Longer Impressive
Leave a comment cancel reply.
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *
Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.
Recent Articles

How To Answer College Essay...

How To Prepare For College...

What Are The Best Ways...

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Building Confidence...

Sign up now to receive insights on how to navigate the college admissions process.

Admissions Counseling
- Academic & Extracurricular Profile Evaluation
- SAT/SAT Subject Tests Tutoring
- Extracurricular Activities
- Essay Editing
- National Rankings
Copyright © AdmissionSight 2022
Privacy Policy - Terms and Conditions
Brown University

Brown is a leading research university distinct for its student-centered learning and deep sense of purpose. Brown’s students are driven by the idea that their work will impact the world. The spirit of the Open Curriculum is infused throughout the undergraduate experience. Brown is a place where rigorous scholarship, complex problem-solving and service to the public good are defined by intense collaboration, intellectual discovery and working in ways that transcend traditional boundaries. We actively seek students from all income groups and practice need-blind admission. Our generous financial aid ensures that financial considerations do not prevent talented students from choosing Brown. Read more Accepts first-year applications Accepts transfer applications New England Private Urban Medium (2,001 to 14,999) Co-Ed Offers need-based aid Accepts self-reported test scores - First Year Test Optional/Flexible - First Year Accepts self-reported test scores - Transfer Virtual Tour Academic Programs
- Engineering
- Liberal Arts
- Government/Political Science
- Health Science
- Performing Arts
- Social Science
- Visual Arts
- Program in Liberal Medical Education
- Brown | RISD 5 year Dual Degree Program
Student experience
- Co-op/Internship Opportunities
- Disability Services
- Intramural/Club Sports
- LGBTQIA Services
- Military/Veteran Services
- On-Campus Housing
- ROTC Program
- Study Abroad
- Undergraduate Research
- Veteran Fee Waiver
- Student Organizations
Application information
Find out about requirements, fees, and deadlines
You are a first-year applicant if you will complete high school during the 2022-23 academic year or if you have completed less than one semester of college coursework. Additional information about eligibility guidelines for the first-year and other application rounds is available here . The fundamental curriculum for a Brown-bound student often includes four years of English; four years of Math; three to four years of science, including two years of lab science; three to four years of history or social studies; and three to four years of foreign language, preferably the same language when possible. Before you apply, be sure to review our first-year application checklist .
Brown admits transfers who will begin their time at the University as first-semester sophomores, second-semester sophomores and first-semester juniors in either the spring or the fall. There is only one transfer admission process per year, with a deadline of March 1. All transfers must successfully complete a minimum of four semesters and 15 courses at the University in order to earn their undergraduate degree. Before you apply, be sure to review our transfer application checklist.

Additional Information
We want to make sure you can afford Brown. The Brown Promise replaces all packaged loans in all financial aid packages for Brown undergraduates with grant and scholarship money that does not have to be paid back. We are committed to ensuring that talented students from around the world at all income levels can join the Brown community. Use our MyinTuition Quick Cost Estimator to view an estimate of an anticipated financial aid package from Brown.
Each incoming class at Brown brings an incredible array of perspectives. I’m inspired daily by the open exchange of ideas on campus, and the entrepreneurial mindset of our community. Logan Powell, Dean of Admission, Office of College Admission

Admissions office

Box 1876 Providence , RI 02912 , United States of America
[email protected]
Phone number
(401) 863-2378
For first-year students
Admissions website.
admission.brown.edu/
Financial aid website
admission.brown.edu/tuition-aid/financial-aid
For transfer students
admission.brown.edu/transfer
admission.brown.edu/transfer/financial-aid
New England
View more in this region
Follow Brown University
- Facebook icon
- Twitter icon
- Youtube icon
- Instagram icon
Brown University Undergraduate College Application Essays
These Brown University college application essays were written by students accepted at Brown University. All of our sample college essays include the question prompt and the year written. Please use these sample admission essays responsibly.
Join Now to View Premium Content
GradeSaver provides access to 2090 study guide PDFs and quizzes, 10953 literature essays, 2741 sample college application essays, 820 lesson plans, and ad-free surfing in this premium content, “Members Only” section of the site! Membership includes a 10% discount on all editing orders.
- Browse College Application Essays
- Undergraduate
College Application Essays accepted by Brown University
#0000ff's joe walsh, brown university.
When life throws me a curve, I try to find an equation for the best-fit line. Actually, life never really throws me a perfect curve, only a series of data that resembles one. Most people are content by connecting these random dots, forming a...
Challenges of the New Millennium Anonymous
The advent of the year 2000 signifies a new world of hope and challenges for our country and the planet. With developments in technology such as the Internet, the world is coming closer together than ever. It is vital for the survival of our...
A Simple Smile Merudh Vijay Patel
"Merudh, get up, get up!" It was four in the morning, and I was four years old. The heart-pounding sound of my dad's voice woke me out of a deep sleep. As I peeked through my bedroom door, I saw my father bolt out of our house with my mother in...
An Epiphany on College Hill Merudh Vijay Patel
As I stood in front of the fourteen-story Sciences Library, a crisp autumn wind blew across my face. I felt the biting cold rush across my cheeks as the trees lining my path rustled in the gust. I reflected on the campus scene around me and I had...
Barefooted Bliss Michela A Fitten
At Brown, the Carrie Tower chimes, class beckons, and I walk in barefoot.
Barefoot like my abuela, who at the age of seventeen chased down the thief who snatched her purse. Armed with only indignation and pride, her feet pounded the soft earth of...
Nikki in the Bubble Anonymous
As I watched my first black and white print slowly emerge from nothingness, the methodical ticking of the timer behind me, I smiled as a wave of excitement passed through me. Without thinking, I began to dance to the rhythm of the clock. From the...
Crap Anonymous
I love crap. I love bad novels and cheap clothes. I love dirty shoelaces and melted candles, junk earrings and instant coffee. It's about finding the beauty in everything. I find it in palms and tea leaves. I sense Pablo Neruda's sonnets in my...
Imported Culture Michelle Salman
“Lower your lids!”
Gilad, my drama instructor, paced back and forth on the stage, arms folded over his belly, Israeli impatience rising in his voice. His eyes narrowed, scanned me through bushy slits, and he barked new commands.
“Let your smile...
Safeguarding Memories Rachael Ji Yoon Kim
Leaping over crooked crevices in the sidewalk, my childhood self hopped a few yards ahead of my grandfather. As I paused to scrutinize a colorful candy wrapper, the smell of melting sugar drifted from a small blue cart where an old woman flipped...
Creative Writing Rachael Ji Yoon Kim
As a young aficionado of poetry and prose, I would love more than anything to develop my skills through a disciplined and distinguished writing program, and Brown offers just that. Believing that one must be a great reader before becoming a great...
Ode to a Dictionary (with acknowledgment to Pablo Neruda) Anonymous
Ode to a Dictionary (with acknowledgment to Pablo Neruda)
You were a gift of language, given to me by my father eight years ago. My dad was traveling to Oxford that year to attend a lecture and asked if I wanted a present. Book-lover that I was, I...
Learning to See Anonymous
“Do you see now?” The voice rang in my ears as I shook my head for the umpteenth time. My eyes were tightly shut, trying to hold back the tears of anger and frustration. When I opened them again, the world looked to me as it always did; only now...
Artist - Me Anonymous
Eyes fixed upon the image in front of her, brows slightly furrowed, the girl appeared to be lost in thought. While the others walked on after stopping briefly before the piece, she stood there with her feet glued to the spot. I watched the girl...
Grandma's Clothes Anonymous
What a familiar sight, I thought to myself as I subconsciously stopped to stare through the display window. A couple of mannequins were dressed in half-finished garments, surrounded by waves of colourful fabrics cascading down the table. Pools of...
Giving Me the Bricks Anonymous
“Mom, I want to take the SAT.”
My mom lifted her eyes off the newspaper and looked at me suspiciously. “What on earth is the SAT?” I went on to explain it to her as she stared at me with increasing incredulity, as if I were no longer her daughter...
NIL Mari Miyoshi
Personal Statement
I have sworn on my biology textbook instead of the Bible since my sophomore year because I have an obsession with truth. After reading The Sound and the Fury a month ago I thought that I had the truth of mankind in terms of the...
Brain Food Anonymous
I consistently bite off more than I think that I can chew, but end up loving what I’ve digested. To feed my intellectual appetite I wish to go to a college with endless options and opportunities, and Brown is that college. With Brown’s...
The Race Henry Fowlkes Weatherly Jr
Sweat, soiled by dust and tears, seeped down my body as I thrust myself forward. With every breath, my lungs collapsed on themselves. While oxygen poured in through my gaping mouth, I still craved more air. Foot after foot, I trampled down the...
Hole Digger Ling Zhou
“Do children in China also think that if they dig a hole in the ground, it can go all the way to America?” I could not help smiling when a little girl asked me this question during my first presentation. I was startled by the fact that people in...
Jan the Troubadour Anonymous
Three months into my exchange year in Germany, my friend called me, a little dejected. She wanted to go downtown, and it was clear why. There was still something incredibly rousing, mysterious, and exciting about the European city that had...
Opening the Door Anonymous
When I was eleven, I lived in a trailer park full of kids. I preferred reading and writing to playing with them, so pretty often, when they knocked on the door, I would pretend I was doing chores. Then I would resume reading Harry Potter and...
The World Through Milton's Eyes Anonymous
We read Paradise Lost my sophomore year, and ever since then English class has seemed little better than a waste of time. No school-assigned book has been able to compare: Paradise Lost is the only book I’ve ever read that I can honestly say...
I Call It Home Ayantu Regassa
“I wanna go home!” I say as I sit on the kitchen floor watching my mother cook.
“What do you mean?” she asks, giving me a questioning look. “Ethiopia?”
“I don’t know.”
Home. For most people, the word can be easily defined as the place where they grew...
Diverse Identity Anonymous
“Dinner is ready!” Every Sunday a member of our family takes a turn choosing what we’re having for dinner, and today was my turn. My mother had prepared all of my favorite food, from foie gras to sea urchin sushi to satay. As we began eating, my...
Recent Questions about Brown University
The Question and Answer section for Brown University is a great resource to ask questions, find answers, and discuss the novel.
What does Riva trade with Riflele? How does Rifkele reply to this gesture?
I think it is a shawl, or something like it, they get to cover their naked bodies. Riva's is too big and Rifkele's is too small.Rifkele says something like the Nazis had not turned them into animals yet.
What phrase does Riva recite right after the man on the loudspeaker welcomes them to Auschwitz?
The quote is, "The living crawl out. The dead are pulled out."
What does the woman who shaves Riva's head tell her? Do you agree with her reason?
I'm pretty sure she tells Riva the head shaving is to keep the lice out. I suppose she has a point. These camps were dirty and all kinds of horrid things were passed on in such close quarters. I also think the whole head shaving thing was to...

- 630 730 8825
- College Admissions Help
- Choosing a College
- College Essay
- College Interview
- College Visits
- Scholarships
- College Life
- Applying to College
- Paying for College
Home How to Write a Winning College Essay Common App Essays That Worked
Common App Essays That Worked
- Written by Rasha Myers
- Updated on June 8, 2022
Most students don’t know where to start when they begin the first draft of their Common App essay. Of course, students write essays in English classes and other courses. However, a personal statement essay for a college application differs greatly from your standard essay.
In a college application essay, not only must you present your unique worldview, but you also have to convince admissions officers and other readers that you should be given a place at their college. The pressure to write the best Common App essay is high, especially during the beginning drafting stages. As a result, many students feel lost before they’ve taken a single step on their college essay journey.
Luckily, HelloCollege can help you navigate this important part of the college application process. To learn more about what makes for a great college application personal statement, we asked two college admissions experts to share their expertise with us. This advice will help students to capture the essence of their character and to stand out from the crowd when they submit their personal statements this fall.
The Essay Coaches
Alisha Braun and Chris Bench are both Essay Coaches at HelloCollege. They specialize in coaching students and helping them craft College Application essays that will get them into their dream schools.
Alisha has her Ph.D. in Educational Policy from Michigan State. After working for 13 years in higher education and teaching at MSU and USF, she began working with HelloCollege in 2021. Chris, meanwhile, holds a Master’s in English from the University of Chicago and has been an Essay Coach for 9 years, 3 of them with HelloCollege. Alisha and Chris each shared their favorite essays with us and discussed the exact features and characteristics that make a Common App essay truly stand out.
Common App Essay
Alisha says that her favorite essay addressed the second Common App prompt, about lessons learned from an obstacle, challenge, setback, or failure . The applicant wrote about teaching her younger foster brother during the COVID-19 pandemic. Her brother’s preschool was shut down, which created new challenges in her home. She described her responsibilities in detail and talked about how she made an at-home pre-K math, science, and reading readiness curriculum that was fun and enriching.
“I loved the playful moments in the essay,” Alisha says, “about reciting ABCs, counting to 10, and nursery rhyme excerpts (such as opening with “Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle” and closing with “Hickory Dickory Dock”). These fond memories of childhood are easily relatable to most readers, humanizing the essay and giving it a light, upbeat tone.”
Alisha also noted that the connection between this difficult time and the students’ future college plans made the essay stand out. “She expertly juxtaposed these moments with her own experiences as a high school student trying to balance her studies, extracurricular activities, and caring for her younger brother, all while doing well in school and those extracurricular activities. Instead of getting bogged down by these challenges (which is a common pitfall with prompt #2), the essay’s author was wonderfully positive, sharing how grateful she was for this experience which taught her patience and perseverance, and how she’ll apply those lessons to college.”
Chris’s favorite essay, on the other hand, “told a story of a young woman who worked security at a major concert venue helping a concert goer deal with a stressful situation.” The story, he writes, “was evocatively told, but it was also interestingly reflective about the concert goer’s situation—at once empathetic toward the young woman who was experiencing an emotional crisis, but thinking about the bad decisions the concertgoer had made leading up to that moment.”
“The author was able to then use those reflections to look forward to college, predicting the experience’s relevance to the psychology degree she hoped to pursue. The author did a great job showing her personal insight, then connecting that insight to her college dreams.” Ultimately, because of her thoughtful and unique personal statement, she was able to attend Tulane.
Tips for Writing a Common Application Essay
In both cases, Alisha and Chris stressed the importance of essays’ capturing their author’s personalities and then making the case for why those characteristics made them desirable college candidates. “The best essays,” Chris argues, “are like a particularly flattering selfie in a camera roll: they capture one, particularly winning aspect of the author’s personality, and then they frame a picture highlighting that characteristic in a way that makes them a successful future college student.”
Personal statements are not easy to write, but hopefully, you now have a better understanding of what a good college app essay looks like. You can never be too prepared, though, and HelloCollege has all the information you need to know to write the perfect college application essay.
We highly recommend that you check out our other blogs on “How To Choose A Winning Personal Statement Topic ” and “College Essay Topics To Avoid.” HelloCollege even has an Essay Bootcamp service. If you sign up for our Bootcamp, you can receive one-on-one with your essay, this way; you can create a unique piece of writing that helps your college application stand out.
Say Hello...

Rasha Myers

We are dedicated to helping students and parents successfully navigate the college admissions process, providing a personalized experience based on your unique needs and goals.
Designed & Developed by Duryab Aziz
Remote Locations
- 1415 W 22nd St Tower Floor, Oak Brook, IL
- 5570 FM 423 Suite 250-2119 Frisco, TX
- 2590 Welton St Ste. 200 #1031 Denver, CO
- 12800 Whitewater Drive Suite 100-2033 Minnetonka, MN
Quick Links
- Kevin Krebs, Founder
- 630-730-8825
- Schedule Consultation
- Employee Login
- Member Login
- News and Press
© HelloCollege 2022. All Rights Reserved.
Brown Essays - submitted
<p>I got accepted to Brown ED, and as I said in the Official results thread, I’m fine sharing them. One person already PM’ed me about them, so I thought I’d put them on here. Don’t copy or take any part of them, but I know before I wrote mine, I would have like to see what someone else had written to see what general type of thing was appropriate. </p>
<p>I wrote the first in August, then edited it maybe once every two weeks until I submitted my app Nov. 1st. My dad was the only other person to see it, the night before. Only helped with a few minor grammar issues. Its my main essay, for I think the fifth prompt. The second is my additional information essay. Third-rest are Brown supplements. I took out the one of where I’ve lived, because personal information. For it I literally stated where I was born, where I’ve lived, and for how long, no fancy metaphors or mumbo jumbo. I had a college counselor look at them, suggested maybe five total wording changes, of which I probably changed three.</p>
<p> Essays: </p>
<p>Every time I read a book, a part of it stays with me. Almost without exception, each new story gives me a new perspective on the world. That doesn’t mean I have a profound revelation whenever I read, nothing that monumental tends to occur. My viewpoint simply changes a small bit. Each book acts as a different tint of glasses, a new way of looking at the world. None is ever perfectly accurate, but that’s where the multitude is helpful. All the books hammer my mind in one way or another, shaping it, providing me with additional perspective, a more holistic world view. The Elegance of the Hedgehog, by Muriel Barbury, was one of the first books during which I noticed this process happening. I read it two summers ago, on the recommendation of a friend. It is the story of a precocious young girl, Paloma, who abhors the faux-socialist, hypocritical attitudes of her family and modern French bourgeoisie society in general. She finds the world lacking meaning, and life lacking purpose. She feels everyone’s path in life is almost pre-determined, in a way, by the circumstances they are born into. Her attitude towards society in general made an impression on me, and continues to. This comes in two parts: the hypocrisy seen between peoples’ expressed personal philosophies and their actions, and an awareness of how people’s backgrounds affect them. I still see and inwardly get annoyed at the holier-than-thou attitudes of people here, in Boulder, one of the most liberal cities in the country. There is hideous traffic and a sizable homeless population, both of which would be much diminished if the people who profess these liberal attitudes actually did something about the problems in front of them. This book helped me recognize this disconnect in other people, as well as in myself. Since then, I have become more conscious of what I do personally, and what I hope to do in the future, so that my actions advance my beliefs instead of conflicting with them. The pre-determination aspect of Paloma’s beliefs isn’t as applicable personally, but still has become integrated into my personal philosophy. My family is supportive of me whatever I do, so while there are general societal expectations, I don’t feel forced along any specific path. The greater recognition of how people’s circumstances affect their path in life has morphed into a strong belief in the expansion of opportunity for everyone. I don’t want to tell people how to live, just give them the chance to live how they want. Opportunity encapsulates so much: education, health care, the environment, and it now plays a central role in my belief system. After a period of depression, Paloma is exposed to a contrasting example to her belief in a set path in life. The concierge of the apartment building, Renee Michel is a woman who has cast aside all molds and forms normally dictated by society, appearing to conform to stereotypes while instead completely subverting them. She reads quality literature and cooks fine meals, all the while putting on an outward air of simplicity and unintelligence. This part of the book caused me to reconsider a big part of my outlook on life. I feel now that I can be happy doing almost anything for a profession. I also came to realize that the activities I get the most happiness from are simple ones. These realizations, coupled with an increased desire to be less hypocritical and help others, made me reevaluate what I want to do going forward in life. The lessons from The Elegance of the Hedgehog are but a part of the impact literature has had on me. Stories don’t often have this large of an effect, but they all change me in some way.</p>
<p> Add’l Info </p>
<p>In ninth grade, I attended (unnamed school in Hawaii). There, I experienced first-hand how diverse parts of Hawaii are. The people I met had a unique perspective on that diversity, and that perspective had a significant impact on me. To start with, everyone at the school was curious about others’ backgrounds. One of the first questions people would ask me was about my ethnic background. People were interested in others’ genealogy, but only in a respectful way. The actual answer didn’t matter, other than to fulfill personal curiosity. Most people had a deep-rooted reverence for personal ancestry. Yet, they were still able to joke and make light of race and racial stereotypes in a way that would make people uncomfortable elsewhere. In Hawaiian History class, one of the projects we did was called a mo’olelo. This was a long paper with a variety of sections, and included both personal reflection and research. I had to write about myself and my experience so far in life, as well as my ancestors and who they were. This last aspect included substantial genealogical research, which I found very enjoyable. I discovered many things about my past I hadn’t previously known, and developed a greater appreciation and admiration for those who had come before me. During my time in Hawaii, I learned that respect for individuals’ backgrounds is important, though at the same time these backgrounds shouldn’t affect present interactions between people.</p>
<p> Area of Study Ever since I took a trip to India in the summer between 10th and 11th grade, I have been interested in aiding developing countries in some way. As my junior school year progressed, I became more intent on making a career out of this new desire. After doing more research, I understood better how limited the effectiveness of most aid is, which pushed me to want to become personally involved in the process. That is why I took a pre-college course at Brown this summer in Global Development. My experience there made me comprehend how having a focus on development in my college education would be extremely beneficial to any future endeavors in it. I want to help people, whatever I do after college, and Brown’s program seems ideally suited to my goals.</p>
<p> Communities or Groups In the two years I have been on my Mock Trial team, it has been one of the groups I enjoy being involved with the most. There is a cohesive spirit, and we are all good friends. Back when I was a shy sophomore and new to the school, it helped me expand my social circle and meet new people. It also installed a comfortable sense of normalcy and routine that I didn’t have previously, as a new student. The activity itself helped me get over some anxiety associated with public speaking, while also making me become more comfortable at improvising in front of an audience. Last year, as a lawyer, I had more responsibility, as it affected everyone if you were unprepared. Mock Trial has made me more independent and willing to get things done on my own, while also fostering reliability and camaraderie.</p>
<p> Why Brown? The freedom afforded to me at Brown in designing my education is something that I would relish. I have a large variety of interests, and being allowed to continue to pursue these in an educational setting is important to me. The development studies program at Brown, my top choice in concentration, is one of the best in its field. I experienced a small preview of what the material is like during my summer program there, and it reconfirmed my interest in the area. I also had a chance to experience the campus and much of what it has to offer. I love how the school isn’t exactly in a city, but is close enough that you can get there quickly. Brown also seems like it has a very intelligent and globally aware student body, and I’d like to be an active part of such a community. Obviously the professors are very knowledgeable, but more importantly, willing to provide personal attention and share their experience. Brown has a strong program which I am very interested in, and all the tools to enable me to succeed both during and after college.</p>
<p> Edit: don’t know whats up with the weird spacing. c-p’ed from common app pdf. </p>

IMAGES
VIDEO
COMMENTS
To apply to Brown University this year, you are required to write three short essays of 50 to 250 words each. You can find your Brown writing supplement along with your Common Application essays on your portal. Here's the Brown supplemental prompts for 2022. The questions on this page are being asked by Brown University:
Why this Brown University essay worked, from an ex-admissions officer This essay is effective because, being one of the "many" the author refers to, it drew me in and piqued my curiosity. Whereas another reader who enjoys math would probably feel excited about this connection to philosophy.
Common App Prompt #1: Background, Identity, Interest, or Talent 1. Seeds of Immigration 2. Color Guard 3. Big Eater 4. Love for Medicine 5. Cultural Confusion 6. Football Manager 7. Coffee 8. Chicago Common App Prompt #2: Lessons from Obstacles 9. Mountaineering 10. Boarding School 11. My Father 12. DMV Trials 13. Ice Cream Fridays
Brown application requirements. Brown requires the following materials for undergrad admission: Common App, including the Common App Essay. Brown supplemental essays. Forms sent from your child's school: 2 teacher letters of recommendations. 1 counselor letter of recommendation. School report, transcript, and midyear school report
These are successful college essays of students that were accepted to Brown University. Use them to see what it takes to get into Brown and other top schools and get inspiration for your own Common App essay, supplements, and short answers. These successful Brown essays include Common App essays, Brown supplements, and other Brown essays.
Brown is one of the many schools that use common app. Check out this video to learn more about the common app essay: Brown supplemental essay example #5 Brown students care deeply about their work and the world around them. Students find contentment, satisfaction, and meaning in daily interactions and major discoveries.
Brown Essays; Yale Essays; Northwestern Essays; Columbia Essays; Duke Essays; NYU Essays; Johns Hopkins Essays; Cornell Essays; UCSD Essays; UCLA Essays; Berkeley Essays ... Search for: Successful Common App Essays. This page features all of the successful Common App essay examples available on Squired, accepted to dozens of schools including ...
Brown is a highly-selective school, so it's important to write strong essays to help your application stand out. In this post, we'll go over some essays real students have submitted to Brown, and outline their strengths and areas of improvement. (Names and identifying information have been changed, but all other details are preserved).
Part 4: 2022-2023 Brown PLME supplemental essays. In addition to a Common Application essay and three short, Brown-specific essays, your child will also need to complete three supplemental essays that address their interest in PLME. Let's take a look at the essay prompts and some example responses.
Common App Essay Example #1 Home (note: bold added to words added by us—see Tips + Analysis) As I enter the double doors, the smell of freshly rolled biscuits hits me almost instantly. I trace the fan blades as they swing above me, emitting a low, repetitive hum resembling a faint melody.
Brown University 2022-23 Application Essay Question Explanations The Requirements: 3 essays of 250 words Supplemental Essay Type (s): Why, Community, Activity, Diversity Brown's Open Curriculum allows students to explore broadly while also diving deeply into their academic pursuits.
The Common Application is divided into three sections: Information common to all the schools to which you are applying Brown University specific questions School forms submitted by your school counselor and academic instructors Apply Now with the Common Application Brown University Specific Questions
Common App Essays That Worked If you are preparing to apply to a number of schools, whether they are smaller liberal arts schools, large public universities, or prestigious and selective private programs, then there is little doubt that the Common Application is in your future.
Brown University has three supplemental essay prompts for all applicants. There are also additional prompts you must answer if you are interested in the Program in Liberal Medical Education (PLME) and/or the Brown|Rhode Island School of Design (RISD) A.B./B.F.A. Dual Degree Program (BRDD).
Brown University. Apply for first-year Apply for transfer. Brown is a leading research university distinct for its student-centered learning and deep sense of purpose. Brown's students are driven by the idea that their work will impact the world. The spirit of the Open Curriculum is infused throughout the undergraduate experience.
College Application Essays accepted by Brown University #0000FF's Joe Walsh Brown University When life throws me a curve, I try to find an equation for the best-fit line. Actually, life never really throws me a perfect curve, only a series of data that resembles one. Most people are content by connecting these random dots, forming a...
Common App Essay. Alisha says that her favorite essay addressed the second Common App prompt, about lessons learned from an obstacle, challenge, setback, or failure. The applicant wrote about teaching her younger foster brother during the COVID-19 pandemic. Her brother's preschool was shut down, which created new challenges in her home.
Brown Essays - submitted. Colleges and Universities A-Z Brown University. brown-university. flame7926 December 12, 2013, 9:12pm #1. <p>I got accepted to Brown ED, and as I said in the Official results thread, I'm fine sharing them. One person already PM'ed me about them, so I thought I'd put them on here. Don't copy or take any part of ...