My Ideal Self Essay

short essay describing your ideal self

Show More My philosophy guides me every day, it is like my defense mechanism for situations or events that may occur in my life. Philosophies can be solely based how our mind thinks, and reacts to situations. Our philosophy can be who we truly are inside. I am a motivated, determined, respectful young woman. I am clearly confident in who I am, and the way I present myself. My ideal self, is a person who could definitely work on their attitude, and demeanor. The way others view me which is my public self, because I am such and quiet person, people are at times intimidated by me. My real self, is the person who thinks about the future, and being successful, and planning ahead, what’s the next move. In life I want happiness, success, …show more content… I desire to teach others something I love to do, to see someone receive joy off of something I also love to do dearest to my heart. My heart experiences so much joy to teach someone else a passion that I really love. My goals as a coach would be, to have fun, enhance skills, play for God, and win. I believe my coaching goals align with the “Athletes first, winning second” method. My athletes will always come first, to anything, if my athlete is too sick to perform, and that athlete really wants to compete, I will not let that athlete compete due to health. My athletes will always come first to anything, and it could be some pros and cons to this method. The sport that I would want to coach is dance , and dance is becoming more prominent in becoming a sport. There are “life lessons” that dance can teach a person. First, dance can teach the importance of hard work and dedication, being good at dance doesn’t have over night, it takes much time and dedication. In dance there is no “skipping” practice, skipping dance practice is like skipping class, and you miss out on so much, especially choreography. Second, being balanced, physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally, physically your body may be tired, or feet may be aching but you have to keep pushing through the dance. Spiritually, when you are dancing, you think about this wonder gift that God has …show more content… Athletes should always enjoy any sport their doing or participating in, it shouldn’t cause them any unhappiness or discomfort. As a coach you should want all of your athletes to continue to develop their skills, there is always room for improvement with an athlete, and so helping the athlete develop is talent should be an objective as a coach. I feel as a main objective as a coach should not to be win, but winning is always a plus to a team, and team that is well skilled and can also win. As a coach, I want achieve my goal for helping shine light those that are talented. I want all my athletes to walk away, saying they learned something from their coach, rather it’s a life lesson or skill for the

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What is your ideal self?



Your real self is what you are. Your attributes, your characteristics and your personality. It contains your negatives and your positives. It has come about through years of accumulating experiences and gloss. You could be happy-go-lucky, anxiety prone, accident prone, always willing to help others, selfish, self-centered and/or unable to say no. Everybody knows this real you, you too will be aware of your real you. Click to expand...
The ideal you is when you feel you should be like this, that is I should be honest, I should be helpful, etc. This is because of societal and parental influences. Sometimes we see our role models, and try to emulate them. As long as we try and succeed, it will be fine, and even if we try, and not succeed, but it is fine with us, that too is fine. But when we do not succeed, and we feel so bad we hate ourselves, then problems will arise. Click to expand...

Sage del Viento

Sage del Viento

My ideal self? I think at the core, I want to be done and over my POCD, anxiety and guilt/shame issues. Mentally and Physically healthier. Plans to leave the world profoundly impacted for the better. I got to take it one day at a time though. The definition of real self I think I may disagree on though. I think at the root of all of us we are good and pure spirits. Just having a physical body though makes us inclined to act on passions and urges. While not really bad in itself, sometimes we commit crimes due to these urges. That's a tangent though. My apologies. My original answer stands for what I want my ideal self to be. I'm not sure how to change the world as a whole for the better just yet. :happy:  



I took a test and apparently I'm an entj-wannabe, I'm practising my cross face on puppies!  



I've given this so much thought that I'm getting mental rugburn from all the friction. My ideal self looks a lot like a mother, but I have no child-bearing intent. I just want copious amounts of people to know that if they ever need anything, I'm there to help. Be it an ear, a ride, a shoulder, money for the light bill, a place to stay, a night of vapid laughter, home-baked zuccini bread. Whatever. I've gone my whole life hating the utilitarianism of humanity, but there's no face of ugly therein the scheme of things. I want to help and people need help, what's the harm? I've never felt better than when picking up hitchhikers or making someone who's crying laugh. My ideal self is fucking happy, and the only thing that really makes me happy is other's happiness.  


kaleidoscope said: Personally, I would say my ideal self is not that unattainable if I really work on myself. My ideal self is someone strong and ambitious, with enough strength and determination to pursue whatever it is they chose to do. Someone who loves and accepts themselves, and mostly trusts themselves. I would also like to be a little more adventurous, less fearful but not to the point of recklessness. I want to look back someday and feel like I lived my life, like I've had the experiences I've always wanted to had. That I've taken risks, gotten hurt, made stupid mistakes and learned from them. :happy: My ideal self isn't very influenced by my parents or the society I live in. I suppose that says a lot about me :laughing: At this point in my life, I can't say I'm close to that, but.. I'm working on it. What about you guys? What is your ideal self like? Is it very different from your real self? How big is the difference and do you feel like you could overcome it? Are you taking the steps to do so? Also, snowflake cupcakes for everyone, cause we're all special snowflakes! Click to expand...
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!" Click to expand...

My ideal self. Yes. I see him as kind, helpful and non-judging. My ideal self oozes friendly feeling, like ink oozes from a pen under water. Loving spirit, glowing warmly - invitingly. Comfortable and easy to approach for a deep discussion, or just a hug. I feel that my ideal self is also the self that makes me happy. Being these adjectives does make me happy. A lot happier than being cold, unhelpful and unempathetic. In a way I'm gravitated towards my ideal self without any conscious guidance. I want to attain inner peace and I think I'm succeeding. Therein lies my ideal self.  

I believe there are different ideal-self's for different times in my life. For example my ideal self right now wouldn't have children but in the future it would. So at the moment I believe my real self and ideal self are very close together, and I feel I have almost attained my ideal self, however of course there are things I'm not perfect at. My ideal self would be more rational with personal love issues, I would not only be able to control my temper but also feel less angry with some areas in life, feel happier and more fulfilled with life and every aspect of it (mainly my relationship, as I am rather insecure). I would be less paranoid about maintaining my weight however I'm getting used to being more relaxed with that. I would be helping much more people around the world, not only people who are currently at my reach. My ideal self is volunteering somewhere and slowly making a difference in the world through example. (I will be able to volunteer after my birthday in a few weeks!) My ideal self is also exploring other areas of life to absorb not just the particular career I want to pursue, but a whole variety of knowledge and experience. :happy:  


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short essay describing your ideal self

Short Essay On My Ideal Self

Hansberry's a raisin in the sun: lack of self actualization.

Every day, I think to myself, how could I make myself a better person? Well, it can differ based on where one stands in life. For example, it is uncommon to meet someone who has reached their maximum potential during their younger years. This is also known as a lack of self-actualization. Though children don't usually make it to this level, it can happen in adults as well. In this case, I chose Walter to demonstrate a lack of self-actualization because throughout Lorraine Hansberry's book that takes place on the south side of Chicago, people who have not achieved the lower levels of Maslow's theory of Hierarchy of needs (Walter Younger) cannot fulfill his/her own needs or their family's needs. Therefore, In Lorraine Hansberry's play “A Raisin in the Sun,” Walter demonstrates a lack of self-actualization illustrating that a self-centered person cannot fulfill their dreams without acknowledging and taking consideration of their children's dreams.

Perception In The Great Gatsby

Perception. Manipulation. Respect and Authority. These are qualities one uses when striving for privilege and capital, in order to control those around them. However, the concept of an ideal is constantly evolving based off one’s previous achievements and surroundings, which ultimately results in greed and dissatisfaction. Baz Luhrmann, Director of The Great Gatsby, demonstrates how the pursuit of an ideal may be promising, however, it can also easily lead to destruction, due to the course of action taken for achievement. This is significant since Gatsby was driven to the point of using dirty money in order to obtain wealth, which leads to Gatsby’s shaming, and ultimately, the death of others and of he himself. Luhrmann expresses emotion and awareness by using

Four Pillars Of National Honor Society

In my opinion, I feel like Character is the pillar that is most dominant in my personal characteristics. I strive to be a good person who has morals and always wants to do the right thing. I feel that I am an all around trustworthy person and I works hard for everything I have. My drive and determination to excel are parts of my character that works in conjunction with scholarship. My grades reflect my hard work and determination that are naturally a part of my character. I believe that Leadership, in turn, comes naturally with my personality and my yearning for perfection. I have always been told that I am a good leader and that I listen to others. My leadership skills naturally stem from my character and my morals. I would never influence others to do something that I felt was wrong or immoral. I also feel that my character influences my willingness to serve others. Service is something that I feel is important and I feel that everyone should give back to their community. I am a product of my community and those around me. It is my responsibility to thank them and serve them in return for their kindness in influencing me.

Character Traits Of John Proctor

“I mean to deny nothing!” This is what John Proctor said when he was asked by Rev. Danforth if he would deny his confession after he is free. John Proctor, a middle aged man is accused of witchcraft because of suspicion from the people in the village. He was executed by hanging even tho he could of gotten out of it by lying and confessed about being a witch. John Proctor and I have some very similar personality traits, in that we are independant, we have leadership, and that we are outcasts.

Essay On Civil Air Patrol Experience

I have experienced many situations and endured a multitude of experiences throughout my life. It is through these experiences that I have been able to learn a great deal about myself. Since I was young, I have always set astronomically high goals and expectations for myself. This was largely in part due to the strong upbringing from my parents, who taught me what is right and wrong, and instilled very strong personal values, along with a continued ideal of community service. These values helped forge me into who I am today. Besides family values, my background begins when I first joined the Boy Scouts of America. There I was taught what it means to adhere to a motto and properly wear a uniform. Although this was the simplest form of a uniform,

Interpersonal Communication Chapter Summary

Chapter two in the textbook Reflect & Relate an Introduction to Interpersonal Communication by Steven McCornack talks all about what “self” is and how to achieve complete fulfillment for one’s self which is also known as self-actualization. The components of self, as described in the book are, “ . . . self-awareness, self-concept, and self-esteem” (McCornack 39). Self-awareness is the idea in which one can take a moment to move feelings, beliefs, and other external influences aside and just evaluate oneself in a holistic perspective that is not skewed by opinions of others, etc. Having the ability to actually think about who one is brings a lot of power and mental stability in such a way that allows for improvement. For example,

Civil Air Patrol Scholarship Essay

My first year in high school was the most challenging year I faced. I had few friends, intimidating classes, and a very low self esteem. My first few weeks were hard trying to fit in. Everything seemed so challenging and I couldn't help but hang out with the troublemakers in class. It was the only place I could find myself being able to make friends. Then one day, in mid September, I came across a student who wanted me to join this program named the Civil Air Patrol. I wasn't so interested at first glance, but the more I looked into the program, the greater my interests grew. One day I decided to go to one of the meetings out at the Aurora Airport. That day was the start of the greatest program that I have ever participated in. The Civil Air

Personal Narrative: Coul Joining The National Honor Society

When asked “What does it mean to be described as “a person of character” it brought two things to my mind, what is a character and as to what kind of character am I. The choices we made throughout our life help mold the proverbial clay that is our character; from where we decided to sit at the lunch table when we were in pre-school to whether or not we picked up some trash that laid on the ground and threw it away, these choices big or small created our character. Breaking down the question a person of character, in essence, is who we really are as people. The things that we say, do, and experience are the things that separate and make each and every single one of us are own unique individual, but what is my character? I reflect back trying to think of everything I have done, and it's hard to come up with my character. When I was little I always tried to keep to myself; I never really wanted to be more than be an average student. I would go to school and would go home every day and never tried to do more. I never was a leader at that age; I was known to be kind and caring but I rarely took charged of a situation and always stayed in the background. It wasn’t until around 8th grade that things started to change, I began to realize that I

My Leadership Philosophy

Leadership is a characteristic defined simply as the ability to lead, but in my life leadership has taken a much more profound meaning. Leadership to me is more than doing a few more administrative responsibilities for the sake of holding a title, or a simple trait that somebody is born with. Leadership, instead, is a unique blend of qualities and characteristics that allow one to be a talented leader and therefore exhibit leadership, a blend that I believe I have embodied. While my application does detail a multitude of leadership positions that I have attained over my high school career, it lacks a metric to assess how one truly performed in their position as a leader, so I feel as if my application would feel incomplete without detailing

Self Identity Essay

Self-identity is defined as the recognition of one's potential and qualities as an individual, especially in relation to social context. In other words, self-understanding. Finding self-identity is more more difficult for some people than others. In the autobiography Black, White, and Jewish: Autobiography of a Shifting Self by Rebecca Walker, the author reflects on her identity as a mixed raced individual which is illustrated through Walker’s reflections. People define themselves in many different ways. For instance, some define themselves by their talents, hobbies, race, religion, color, gender, culture, sexual orientation, and/or age. What is your identity?

Self Development In Social Care

The self can be defined as ‘an organised, consistent set of perceptions of and beliefs about oneself’ (Passer, Smith, Holt, Bremner, Sutherland & Vliek, 2009, p676). We should aim to understand ourselves, learn know how we function

My Self Concept Essay Examples

My self-concept includes a number of different adjectives and roles, these include both good and bad things. The adjectives I use to describe myself are as follows: kind, loyal, selfish, hard working, apathetic, practical, honest, occasionally rude, and procrastinator. As for the roles that I fill, I am a son, a brother, a friend, a student, the oldest son, and a teacher.

Reflective Essay About Myself

I have always hated writing about myself, and I always dreaded assignments in school where I had to describe myself. I always wanted to avoid doing these assignments because I did not want to sound narcissistic, or self-absorbed. I dislike people like that now, because I used to be one of those people. It took many lessons learned before I humbled myself; I am still learning to humble myself today with recent experiences I have had. Although I hate to write about myself, I have always liked to reflect on myself. I spend a significant amount of time just thinking about myself as I go throughout my day. I constantly question myself: why am I the way that I am, what could I have done better here, what is my place in the world, etc. In the context of this paper, I have come to a conclusion. In the past, I was a leader. Now, I realized I have failed. Despite what my MBTI test may say, I am a leader no more.

Essay About Self Awareness

Being self-aware simply means that you have a keen understanding of your own personality. That includes your positive and negative traits, your thoughts and beliefs, your feelings, and your inspiration.

My Ideal Self Essay

In the shorter term (3 years), I want to graduate from HELP University’s Degree of Psychology in first-class honours. I understand claims stating such academic achievement is merely a graduation certificate, without guarantee of work opportunities. However, my aim is not motivated towards work opportunities or anything materialistic; I just want to appreciate and value every learning opportunity. Besides viewing this process as a foundation for future knowledge and abilities, I have been anticipating this stage of gaining deeper and professional knowledge in psychology for a long time. To summarize, this goal is elicited from my passion and enthusiasm for psychology, to remain focused throughout these three years, instead of gaining fame or impress others.

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Sample Essay on Ideal self

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The personality of a person comprises of the real self and the ideal self. A person’s real life is one that is called the real self and the person that one desires to be is the ideal self. The self does not just spiral and become full-blown from a void. One’s value, behavior, and disposition are typically fashioned from experience. Interpersonal influences shape the self, and the most powerful effect that creates the ideal self is from those people closer to us. The right do-it-yourself is really an idealized model regarding yourself made beyond whatever you have learned from your everyday life, which entails involving contemporary society, along with whatever you envy of your role models.

I am an Asian from Sunni Muslim community, and my religion is Islam. I however have no cynicism towards other religions. My friends are mostly from school and I can consider myself an introvert and most of the time I avoid sensitive discussions. My ideal self is to be a person that is able to interact freely with both friends and new people, in a way that am able to solve their problems and bring happiness to them. Ideal self would not shy away from debates whether sensitive or not, and have no fear of being controversial or misunderstood. My culture and upbringing would not stand on my way and I would interact with everyone including my neighbors.


I come from a family of upper middle-income family, am able to afford my education and have never struggled for basic needs. My ideal self is a wealthy person that has enough to spend extravagantly and able to afford all that I desire. Nonetheless, all this would not be spent on me alone and would help my family and elevate them to even higher standards if not the highest in the society. I would help all my friends who needed financial help and even extend it to all people in need. I am a person that enjoys life and with better financial capabilities that would be my goal.


I have a viewpoint in life that each day is outstanding and it matters I do not worry much about the future because I cannot change it. I am also self-loving but care about others too. An ideal self I would be a person that is true to his beliefs and religion. A person that is able to achieve the impossible, has a greater influence morally and be able to change believes of those that are morally corrupted. With such ability, I would change my country and the world and free it from all type of evil.


I have an introvert character and am not able to interact with people as much as many do. Most of my personal life is somehow isolated or secluded and I operate mostly on schedule. I am sensitive and less outgoing in nature, when alone I watch a movie or listen to music. My ideal self would be a person that is able to freely interact with people and be able to spend more time outside interacting and having fun. Be less sensitive, more of an extrovert and a go-getter that would not let any form of barrier stop me from attaining what I desire. I would also be more known and popular and at the pinnacle leading others.

At my home country, I enjoy going to barbecues and participating in events such as soccer and volleyball. I also like swimming since we visit with lots of friends. My ideal self is to be a person that participates in more physical activities in my home country and when in America studying. I would be more fit and healthier with the same capabilities as an athlete and basically be fit. Achieving the perfect shape and doing that without too much hard work and be amongst the best looking physically.

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Monday, september 14, 2009, my true self & my ideal self, 8 comments:.

I really like your traits and ideals that you set for yourself; they really remind me a lot of my own. I know exactly how you feel when you say. "I focus on other’s feelings before my own, and am always eager to please. This trait is also my downfall." I had a long conversation with my best friend this weekend about that subject, and how it can make you very likable, but leave you blindly vulnerable. In my case i love to expand relationships and I am always willing to lend a helping hand (in most situations). I really just like making other people happy and showing them a good time, despite that in hindsight it always bites me. I never think it's bad thing, but being courteous can really be a tricky thing to 100%successfully do. You only live life once and it’s always cool to be with others and share in the fun. It kind of seems like you live your life closely to the same motto.

I feel like you are more self reliant that you think. You mentioned the fact that you hate to fail, and in order to succeed you said that you make a plan and create organization. To me, these are very self reliant traits because you are totally relying on yourself to complete the task at hand.

"Despite these attractive traits I see in myself, my ideal self would possess many more, especially traits that emphasize self-reliance because I feel I am not self-reliant." I think you have a great sense of your ideal self, even when you realized you weren't the exact idea of so-called 'self-reliant'. But, in my opinion, and I could be wrong, Emerson does not necessarily note that self-reliance is always a beautiful thing. It is the good, the bad, the pretty, the ugly. So, like Kara said, You ARE more self-reliant than you think. You can always accept the areas you don't like sometimes, and then fix them sometimes too. By the way, I think your essay flowed really well. I wish mine did the same. I was all over the place, the topic was so broad for me! A+

Daniel, we are definitely on the same page when is comes to pleasing people and I think you word it so well when you said it makes us "blindly vulnerable" and comes back to "bite" us. However, you have such a positive perspective on living life and I really appreciate that. I have always looked at pleasing people as my downfall, but you have opened my eyes moreso to the unselfish and rewarding side of it. Kara, thank you so much for pointing out the self-reliance traits in my essay that I failed to see. I never looked at it like that, and it's very uplifting. Christina, you make a great point that self-reliance can be so much more, the good, the bad, the ugly, and the pretty, and that even though I thought I may not be the exact idea of the the so-called beautiful "self-reliant", that my downfalls can be related to self-reliance as well. : ) You guys are all so encouraging, positive, and uplifting. I couldn't ask for a better group!

Love it.. 🤗🤗🤗

Essay origin is one of the best essay writing service that helps to know about the purpose of the essay writing. I’s called WritePaper.Info Good luck!

I love how this website is still active and I love how wholesome this is. Anyways, I like your essay, and for me, you are already a wonderful person even if you didn't became the ideal person you wanted to be. Sometimes our real or true self is already the person you wish to be, we just need time to realize who we really are or what we are capable of. Improving as a better versions of ourselves can make us also realize that we are special in our owny way, and there's no such thing as a perfect person, everybody has their own imperfections. As we grew up, those imperfections are what made us unique and special...

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short essay describing your ideal self

Self And The Ideal Self

The theory of self-discrepancy states that everyone has three different selves that include the ideal self, the actual self, and the ought self. According to Burger (2015), “the actual self contains all the information you have about the kind of person you are” (p. 425). In other words, the actual self is who you really are, or who you think that you really are. Burger describes the ideal self as “your mental image of the kind of person you would life to be” (p. 425). The ideal self is the person that you would ideally like to be. The third self is the ought self. Burger describes the ought self as “the self you believe you should be” (p. 425). Burger also states that “we often compare the way that we act. . . with the way we want to be. . …show more content…

In this essay, the author

I would describe my ideal self as being: creative, healthy, active, successful, happy, respectful, decisive, more assertive, less awkward, confident, likeable, sociable, organized, logical, intelligent, reliable, altruistic, compassionate, trusting, and open-minded. My ought self includes being: happy, kind, healthy, altruistic, compassionate, polite, responsible, hard-working, sociable, open-minded, composed, intelligent, cooperative, credible, adaptable, informed, accessible, active, easygoing, and …show more content…

For example, I see myself as being unorganized, anxious, indecisive, and stubborn. My ideal and ought lists are comprised of only positive aspects. One of the main differences between my actual self and my ideal and ought selves is that my actual self is less extroverted and sociable than I wish I were and I think that I should be. Words such as shy, quiet, and reserved are only on my actual self list and not on the other two. There is also overlap among the lists, for example my ought and ideal self lists both have the words altruistic and happy. I wish that I were altruistic and believe that I should be, but do not feel that I am actually altruistic. The word happy is striking to me, because I do feel happy, but I did not even think about putting it on the actual self list. I think that my actual self and ought self lists are more similar than my actual self and ideal self list is. Having these lists written out is eye opening, as I can see the way I think about who I actually am compared to who I think that I want to be and who I think that I should

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What is a Self-Ideal? And Why is it Important to Pursue Your Ideal Self?

I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be until finally, I became that person. Or he became me. – Cary Grant

This article is part of an 8 part series to help you develop more confidence in the pursuit of your goals. Here is a list of all articles within this series:

What Exactly is a Self-Ideal?

A self-ideal is essentially an ideal future version of “you” that encompasses your personality, beliefs, values, and behavior under various conditions. In can be summarized in the following way:

My ideal self is who I am wanting to become… My ideal self is the best version of myself in every situation…

The “ideal you” is, therefore “you”, however it is not the person you are today, but rather the person you are striving to become tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, and so on. And yet this ideal self is not a state of perfection; it is not a fixed destination or a finished product. In fact, it’s far from it. This ideal self is constantly evolving and changing, and as such it has somewhat of an elusive nature.

Your ideal self should always be several steps ahead of you. In fact, even if you do become that ideal version of yourself at some point in the future, by that stage this ideal version of “you” will have changed, and you will therefore still be in pursuit of this ideal self. This is, of course, an important progression because it naturally leads to healthy growth and development.

If one day you were to catch up to your self-ideal, then that is possibly the day when life would lose all meaning. With nothing greater to strive for, and with no new challenge on the horizon you would naturally end up in a state of perpetual stagnation. There would be no motivation to grow or to improve yourself and as a result, life would become perfect. That, of course, doesn’t sound so bad, right? But it’s not so good either. It’s not good because reaching a state of perfection leads to boredom , restlessness, and a less than satisfying life.

All this, of course, sounds quite counter-intuitive. Becoming everything you have ever wanted to be sounds like bliss. And yes you would be right. It would be as if all your dreams had suddenly come true. But that’s because you are not that person today, and it’s the journey towards becoming that person that will bring you fulfillment. It’s, therefore, not the destination but rather the steps you take to get to that destination that makes life incredibly fulfilling, enjoyable and fun. Moreover, it’s the process of learning, growth, and development along that journey that makes life truly worth living.

Given all this, it’s quite clear to see why our self-ideal must be elusive in nature. It typically changes over time because you are effectively recreating yourself daily through your choices, decisions, and actions. Every thought you indulge in leads to a decision, which leads to an action. These actions form the habits and rules you live by that shape your future life and behavior. In fact, every experience you have changes you in some way. These changes might be slight, however, they always impact the kind of person you are striving to become (your self-ideal). And many small changes over a period of time will lead to big changes to the vision you have for your future self.

Your self-ideal, of course, encompasses the many roles you play. For instance, you might be a mother, a father, a sister or brother. You might be a parent, teacher, coach, leader, employee or employer. Within every one of these roles there exists an “ideal you”. You might, for instance, be striving to become a better father. As a result, you are working towards this ideal version of the father that you would like to one day become, and this helps keep you growing and developing yourself in the role of a father. And the same is true for any other role you play.

Your growth and development in each role is the fuel that keeps pushing you forward through every decision you make and action you take. And as long as these ideal versions of you are somewhat out of reach, you will keep striving and pushing forward. Therefore this ideal version of you is what effectively fuels your motivation.

This is all well and good, however, at times we end up walking along the wrong path because we succumb to other people’s expectations . These people shape how they would like us to be within the specific roles we play. This, of course, might not be such a bad thing. Sometimes we just don’t have enough clarity to understand how we can grow and develop ourselves within a specific role. However, at other times giving into other people’s expectations can lead us astray down a less than optimal path.

The key is to take on board what is helpful and allow that to shape your self-ideal. However, everything you take on board you must make it your own. Only in this way will you fully accept what you need to do to bridge the gap between where you are and where you desire to be.

Take a moment to acknowledge:

I know exactly who I am… I accept who I am right now… I seek to become a better version of myself… I commit myself to growth and development…

When you know who you are today (your self-image ), and when you fully accept this person, that is when you can commit yourself to becoming a better version of yourself, which of course comes through the process of growth and development.

That, in a nutshell, is what a self-ideal is all about. It’s about striving to become the very best version of yourself within every role you play. But what if you’re not sure? What if you don’t quite have the clarity you need to bring that self-ideal to life? Well, that’s what we’ll look at next by breaking down a four-step process to help you consciously begin shaping your self-ideal starting today.

Exploring the Ideal You

Four Steps for Shaping Your Self-Ideal

Often we desire to be better at certain roles and/or areas of our lives, however, we never quite take the time to clarify what “being better” actually means to us. And because we are somewhat “wishy-washy” about the things we would like to improve upon, we never truly build enough momentum to carry us forward to this desired destination.

Let’s avoid falling into this trap by going through a four-step process that will help you shape your self-ideal with purposeful intention. These steps are designed to help you lay down a path from where you are (your current self) to where you desire to be (your ideal self), thereby effectively bridging the gap between the two.

Step 1: Analysis of Your Current and Ideal Self

Your first task is to get to know yourself at a deeper level. Yes, this means warts and all. It means acknowledging parts of yourself that you are pleased with and being honest about parts of yourself that tend not to live up to your personal standards  and/or expectations. Ask yourself the following questions:

What do I value most about myself? What would I like to leave unchanged moving forward? What don’t I like about my current behavior? What aspects of myself would I like to ideally alter?

There will naturally be parts of yourself that you are quite happy with and would not want to change, however, there will be other parts where you will see room for growth and improvement.

For instance, have a think about specific situations where you face adversity, conflict, making mistakes and dealing with difficult emotions. These are no doubt challenging situations that may or may not bring out the best in you. Consider these situations and ask yourself:

How do I typically handle adversity? How do I respond when I make mistakes? How do I tend to handle conflict? How do I deal with difficult emotions?

Reflect on “how you are” in these situations and consider how you might be able to improve in these areas. Your answers to these questions will effectively lay down the foundations for your self-ideal.

Now, let’s take a look at that self-ideal by exploring the kind of person that you would ideally like to become. Take into consideration all your answers to the previous questions, and ask yourself:

What kind of person would I ideally like to be? What standards would I like to uphold? What would I like to believe about myself?

Here you are building a picture of “you”. This isn’t who you are now, but rather someone who you would ideally like to become in the future.

Now consider breaking this down even further by completing the following statements:

I want to be a person who is… I want to be a person who keeps… I want to be a person who lives… I want to be a person who doesn’t… I want to be a person who solves…

Going through each of these statements will provide you with a much clearer picture of the kind of person you envision of becoming in the future. Now your task is to simply follow through with making these positive changes, however, this might not be as easy as it seems.

For the most part, it’s very possible that you have been wanting to make these changes for some time now. If that’s the case, then what’s stopped you? What has held you back all this time? Identifying what has held you back can help you to better pinpoint what you need to now do to move forward.

However, there is still one missing ingredient. That ingredient comes with a “why”. Ask yourself:

Why is it important to make these changes?

In order to make change stick , you must have a “reason” to make this change in the first place. There must be enough motivation for you to change, or otherwise, your efforts will be fleeting.

For this to take place you must thoroughly understand how to utilize the principles of  pain and pleasure . Both pain and pleasure are natural motivators that you must bring here into this process in order to make positive long-term changes stick.

Step 2: Identify Positive Role Models

If you are still lacking a little clarity as to the kind of person you would like to become, then let’s take a brief look at some of your role models. These are the people who inspire you through their behavior, words, and actions. Your task here is to use these role models as the catalyst to help define your ideal self. Ask yourself:

Whom do I admire? Why do I admire this particular person? What about them do I admire most? What qualities, behaviors, habits and actions would I like to adopt as my own?

This, of course, isn’t about becoming this other person. It’s rather about modeling what you admire most about this person to help shape your ideal self. You already do this unconsciously each and every day. When you hang around with your friends or coworkers you progressively develop certain habits that they have that you take as your own — for better or worse. So why not consciously choose the kinds of qualities and habits you would like to develop rather than allowing them to unconsciously become a part of you?

It’s important that the qualities , behaviors, and habits you choose help challenge and inspire you to become a better person. Therein lies the key to successful long-term change.

Step 3: Describe Your Ideal Self in Specific Situations

Let’s now break down this ideal version of yourself you have been building within the first two steps a little further. Your task here is to create a detailed picture/description of the “ideal you”. This includes your beliefs, qualities, and behaviors. This also includes the personal standards you will uphold and the values you will live by. Likewise, this also includes the specific actions you will take in certain situations.

For instance, you might list down patience as a quality that you would like to develop. Listing down this attribute is a good starting point, however making it a part of your life is something that will require a lot of work and effort on your part. You might therefore start this process by listing down:

I am a patient person…

You will however now need to expand on this statement in the following way:

A patient person believes… A patient person values… A patient person shows patience when… (specific situations) A patient person responds to mistakes by… A patient person deals with adversity by… A patient person handles conflict by… A patient person responds to difficult emotions by… A patient person never allows themselves to…

As you take time to complete these statements, you’re now starting to develop a clearer picture of the kind of person you need to become in order to develop patience. Nothing is left to chance here. You are thoroughly exploring what it truly takes to live with patience each and every day. And you can, of course, rinse-and-repeat this process for courage, determination, love, integrity, humility, calmness , ambition, and many other attributes and qualities that you would like to grow into. The path you choose is of course completely up to you.

Step 4: Act As If…

The final step of this process is to ACT AS IF . Act as if you are already the ideal version of yourself in specific situations. Act as if you already embody your ideal qualities, beliefs, and behaviors until all these things become a part of who you are.

Consistency is, of course, the key here. “Act as if” consistently over time and you will eventually develop the habits that will move you in the direction of your ideal self. You will progressively bridge that gap and move forward in an optimal way.

Shaping Your Ideal Self

Gaining Further Clarity About Your Ideal Self

The four-step process outlined above gives us a good starting point to help build an empowering self-ideal. However, I would like to add a couple of additional activities that you might also like to try. These activities are designed to provide you with further insights into the kind of person you ideally would like to become. Use them to help build a clearer image of your ideal self.

The Ideal Day Activity

The ideal day activity is a simple visualization process that encourages you to imagine an ideal day at some point in the future.

Take a moment to sit in a quiet place where you can be alone for 15 to 20 minutes without any distractions. Once there, begin visualizing your ideal day starting from the moment you wake up first thing in the morning. Ask yourself:

Where am I? Who is with me? What are my surroundings like? What do I do specifically on this day? What goals am I working towards? What kind of people do I interact with? What am I like as a person on this day? What specifically catches my eye about “how I am” on this day? How do I handle myself in various situations?

Visualizing the answers to these questions will help you to get a better idea of the person you see yourself becoming at some point in the future. This then essentially becomes your self-ideal, or in other words the person you are striving to become.

You can, of course, expand on this visualization by also projecting forward and imagining your ideal week, month and/or year. The more areas of your life you encompass through this activity, the better sense you will get of the kind of person you see yourself in the future.

The Future Projection Activity

Another activity that’s worth going through encourages you to project yourself forward into very specific situations in your future where you are dealing with adversity and failure ;  handling mistakes and conflict; and/or trying to manage difficult emotions such as stress , worry , overwhelm , anxiety ,  fear and so on. Posing scenarios such as these and imagining your future self successfully handling them will provide you with greater insights into the make-up of your ideal self.

Here are some questions to help stimulate your thinking:

How does the future me face life’s toughest challenges? How do I deal with making mistakes? How do I deal with failure? How do I tend to manage difficult emotions? (be specific) How do I handle conflict? How do I deal with stressful situations?

Now take all your answers into account and identify how you are as a person in all these scenarios. Ask yourself:

What am I like as a person in all these scenarios? What specific qualities and/or habits are on display? What strengths are evident? What knowledge do I have that is of value? What skills do I tend to put into practice?

As a final step, take some time now to collate all the information you have collected about this “future you”. You can do this by listing down all the things that resonate with you at a deep level on a sheet of paper. Whatever you decide to list on this page effectively becomes your self-ideal; which is the person you would ideally like to be at some point in time. Your goal is of course now to bridge that gap between your current self and your ideal self. That gap will of course rarely if ever be fully bridged, however, the point here is that it encourages you to grow and develop yourself over the years in a positive way. This then effectively becomes your path to self-actualization.

Gain Clarity About Self-Ideal

The Path to Self-Actualization

The idea of self-actualization comes from Abraham Maslow and his Hierarchy of Needs . Along this hierarchy, Maslow lists various human needs that we strive to fulfill. From the bottom-up, the needs are as follows: Physiological, Safety, Belonging, Esteem, and Self-Actualization. Each lower need has to be satisfied first before we can progress towards satisfying a higher level need. And of course, at the top of the pyramid sits the act of self-actualization.

For the purpose of this discussion, let’s talk more about self-actualization and what this actually means. However, this entire concept of the Hierarchy of Needs is a very fascinating topic, one that I have explored in depth within the Six Human Needs article. It’s a highly recommended read if you would like to learn more about what Human Needs are and how you can use them to help optimize your life.

What is Self-Actualization?

Self-actualization in it’s simplest form is a desire for self-fulfillment. It’s an internal drive where you strive to reach your full potential as a human being. In other words, it’s a desire to become everything you are possibly capable of becoming over a lifetime.

The actual state where you “self-actualize” is that moment when your self-ideal is very much congruent and aligned with your self-image; or in other words aligned with your actual behavior. Therefore it is the moment where your current self is very much on the same level as your ideal self. Therefore, everything you visualized about your future self has very much manifested in your life; or it’s well on its way to coming to fruition.

A little earlier we discussed how your ideal self is very much elusive, and that reaching a state where your current and ideal “selves” are aligned is dangerous because it leads to stagnation. This is still true, and very much true when it comes to self-actualization.

To self-actualize means that you have reached the peak of your journey. This is the end, and there is nothing more beyond this peak. As such, the moment you reach this peak you experience this glorious and euphoric energy coursing through your body. However, this only lasts a very short time, and then it progressively fades away. It fades as you begin to realize that “this is it”, that “there is nothing more beyond this point”. You have realized your full potential, and now unless there is another step beyond this point, your level of fulfillment will begin to plummet back down the mountain.

There is no doubt that there are some people who actually self-actualize. They reach the summit of their journey, and because their self-image is now fully aligned (or thereabouts) with their self-ideal, they have nowhere else to go… but down. So the questions is, have they reached their full potential? And the short answer to that question is of course “no”; of course they haven’t. It only seems as though they have.

Reaching our full potential by self-actualizing is not possible, at least not within our human form. There is always more room to grow, to improve, to gain more knowledge, insights, and skills. Therefore self-actualization isn’t a destination, but rather a journey we travel on.

Yes, euphoria will erupt from inside of you when you realize at some point in the future that your actual behavior (self-image) is very closely intertwined with your self-ideal. This is an incredible place to be at, however, it’s dangerous. It’s dangerous if you do not keep the process of self-actualization moving forward. And to do so you cannot see self-actualization as a destination but rather as a journey of progressive milestones.

Yes, we all want to reach a level where we are feeling happy and fulfilled . This is a great place to be, but this feeling only lasts a very short time because happiness and fulfillment come from the journey of moving from one place to another place; of moving from a lower state to a higher state. This is why you must keep moving forward, and this is why it’s absolutely paramount that your self-ideal stays elusive and remains several steps ahead of where you are in your life.

Yes, of course, work to bridge that gap, but as you begin bridging that gap keep pushing it forward. Make sure that your self-ideal is somewhat within reach, but challenging enough to make your journey worthwhile and interesting.

The Journey Towards Self-Actualization

So what does it take to successfully make progress along this journey towards self-actualization? What does it take to progressively make incremental improvements to begin bridging the gap between your self-image and self-ideal?

First of all, it requires a realistic appraisal of yourself and of your own abilities. The gap between your current self and your desired self must ultimately be there, however, it’s important not to reach for the moon when you haven’t yet begun to crawl. Your self-ideal must be challenging and somewhat out of reach, but not too challenging or too far beyond the realm of possibility. Unrealistic expectations will often lead you astray and result in  major disappointment . In such scenarios, the gap will be too significant for your mind to grasp, and as a result, there will be little motivation to pursue this ideal version of yourself.

Yes, you might very well have all these lofty goals of how you see yourself in the future, however, it is important to tone down those goals and build smaller milestones along your journey. Then as you reach one of your milestones you lay down another milestone ahead of that, and so on. This will keep you focused, motivated and moving forward towards something that’s seemingly reachable and attainable.

Secondly, the journey towards self-actualization requires a desire to solve problems . And to solve problems you will need a sense of wonder and curiosity. Life is full of problems and a person on the journey towards self-actualization thrives on solving problems that will help them unlock opportunities to move them forward. However, to solve a problem you must first take responsibility for it. Therefore there are no excuses along this journey. You must take full responsibility for your life, choices, decisions, and actions, and use your challenges as opportunities to help you express yourself in creative ways .

Yes, you will undoubtedly encounter obstacles along your journey. Every path where you move from one state-of-being to another state-of-being is thwart with challenges. However, these challenges are designed to help you grow stronger and bolder. You must, therefore, learn from every experience you encounter through the process of self-reflection, and then use that to propel yourself forward in a more optimal way.


Your Self-Ideal and Goal Achievement

The one thing that hasn’t as yet been mentioned is that the journey of becoming the “ideal you” is the one and the only key you need to help you accomplish the goals you set for yourself.

So many people strive to accomplish concrete and specific goals, however, they too often miss their mark because to get to a goal we need fuel. And that fuel comes from the person you become along your journey towards that goal. And of course, who you become is tied to the “ideal you”.

Given all this, when setting goals , don’t just take into account the steps you will need to take to achieve your goal. Consider also the person you will need to become in order to deserve this goal in the first place.

Along this journey towards your goal, you will need to develop certain habits, you will need to adopt specific qualities, and you will need to think and act a certain way. All of these things in combination will help you become whom you need to be in order to successfully achieve your goal.

Taking this idea for granted will, unfortunately, lead you astray because you can only “have” after you have “become”.

First, BECOME , then DO , then HAVE … then you will  ACHIEVE!  It’s never the other way around.

Time to Assimilate these Concepts

Pursuing the Ideal Self


Did you gain value from this article? Is it important that you know and understand this topic?   Would you like to optimize how you think about this topic? Would you like a method for applying these ideas to your life?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then I’m confident you will gain tremendous value from using the accompanying IQ Matrix for coaching or self-coaching purposes. This mind map provides you with a quick visual overview of the article you just read. The branches, interlinking ideas, and images model how the brain thinks and processes information. It’s kind of like implanting a thought into your brain – an upgrade of sorts that optimizes how you think about these concepts and ideas. 🙂

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short essay describing your ideal self

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If you’re new to mind mapping or just want to check things out, then register for the Free 12 Month Membership Program . There you will gain access to over 90 mind maps, visual tools, and resources valued at over $500. 

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short essay describing your ideal self

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Identifying the ideal self

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1. Identifying my Ideal Self

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My Ideal Person Essay

Human beings are not perfect. We all have some form of deficiency that deny us the coveted tag of perfection. It may be a character flaw or a physical disability. We all have something that we are not proud of. Something that makes us so uncomfortable that our confidence levels plummet to zero whenever we think about it.

While there are things we cannot change about ourselves, such as height, intelligence, race or size of our fingers, there are other factors in our lives that we can change and they are the ones that really matter. We are not remembered for our tallness or brownness, we are remembered for our virtues or vices. Therefore, an ideal person is one who possesses all character traits that are considered virtues in society.

When I talk about an ideal person, one person comes to mind- Mother Teresa. Her name has become synonymous with sacrifice and selfless generosity. People know her from all over the world, both in the religious and secular circles. Though she was not perfect, her life embodied what I would refer to as the ideal personality. One of her best qualities was piety. She was a very faithful and religious woman.

Mother Teresa was a staunch catholic. At the tender age of 18 years, she joined the Sisters of Loreto in Dublin and became a nun. She therefore dedicated all her life towards a religious and humanitarian course and never looked back. There were instances where she felt like God had forgotten her and even questioned whether God really existed. However, she never left her catholic faith.

She was also very generous. She spent most of her life serving the poor. Form her own account, which she labeled as “a call within a call,” God spoke to her and commanded her to go help the slum dwellers in Calcutta, India. After receiving approval from Vatican, she relocated to Calcutta for the rest of her life. Using her meagre resources, she wholeheartedly helped the poor and the sick.

She left behind a lifestyle of stability and opulence, took a vow of charity, chastity and poverty and then went to a foreign country to live with the destitute. During her life, she suffered from many illnesses and injuries, including malaria, pneumonia and two heart attacks. She also had broken collar bone. The several setbacks she faced however did not deter her from moving on with her course.

Mother Teresa was also a leader and she led by example. When she saw things were not okay and people were suffering, she took it upon herself to help them. With all the poverty and misery that surrounded her, she always had the strength to put on a smile. One of the traits of great leaders is that they always give people hope when there seems to be none.

That was Mother Teresa. People rushed to her for comfort and assistance and she always found a way to help them. When she arrived in Calcutta, there was wide spread of diseases in the slums. She went to a medical institution, trained to be practitioner and went back to the slums to treat the affected. She also established various health centers to deal with the rampant spread of diseases, including leprosy that was wreaking havoc in the slums.

She was also very principled. She had her own set of beliefs that she followed to the letter and never faltered whenever she faced criticism or opposition. She openly opposed divorce, abortion and contraception. While receiving her Nobel Peace Prize for her unwavering service to humanity, she aired her critique on abortion without fear. She opined in her speech, “…I feel the greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion, because it is a direct war- a direct murder by the mother herself…” Although she received too much public backlash for her stance on abortion, contraception and divorce, she was unperturbed and made it clear to the whole world about her position.

She was also not materialistic. This is evidenced by her choice to move from the comfort of the convents to a life of complete poverty and misery in the slums of Calcutta. She was able to mobilize funds from all over the world, but she never used the money for her own personal gain. All the money she raised was channeled towards improvement of living conditions of the people in the slums. She had no desire for money.

In fact, she requested that all the money that was awarded to her after winning the Nobel Peace Prize be donated to the poor people in India. When Pope Paul VI saw the good work she was doing and decided to give her his white Lincoln limousine to help her carry out her work, She sold the vehicle and used the money to build a village for lepers.

Mother Teresa was also very authentic. She was trustworthy and a person people could rely on. She was able to rally the whole world behind her, including presidents and the royalty because of her authenticity. All her service was for the advancement of humanity and she did it from the bottom of her heart. She did not help people to get recognition or wealth, as is common nowadays with celebrities.

As a result, she was loved and recognized all over the world. In her lifetime, she was honored with more than 120 awards, including the Presidential Medal of Freedom, which is the highest civilian award in the U.S. She was also the first person to be awarded the Pope John XXIII Peace Prize. Furthermore, the city of Calcutta was renamed to Kolkata to match with the pronunciation of her native language, Bengali.

Mother Teresa was also very courageous, despite her small statue of just 5 feet. At the height of Israel-Palestinian war in Beirut, 37 children were trapped in a hospital that was caught in the line of fire. She brokered a deal between the two warring factions and as result, there was a temporary cease fire. Together with Red Cross officials, she was able to rescue the children.

Her charitable works were also not tied to a specific demography, but transcended to all groups of people. Many people mistook her charity work with missionary work and thought she was converting her adherents to the catholic faith. She took a bold stand however and proclaimed that religion was not the issue. People can still reach God regardless of religion, provided they are faithful to their God.

Lastly, she was very intelligent and resourceful. Apart from her medical training, she was also learned in geography. She was a geography and catechism teacher at St. Mary’s High School, where she later became the principal. She could also speak five languages fluently- Bengali, Hindi, English, Serbian and Albanian. Owing to her resourcefulness, she was able to use her limited resources to help so many people. Sometimes she was forced to improvise. For instance, when she started teaching poor children, she did not have the necessary supplies that were needed to teach, such as pens and books. She however managed to educate her pupils by writing on dirt using wooden sticks.

Mother Teresa is an ideal person to me, because she had all the attributes of a good person, which made her very vulnerable and at the same time very powerful. How she was able to motivate people with nothing, but her faith is nothing short of a miracle. She gave out everything she had to the poor, including her skills, resources and her life. When she went to Calcutta, she had nothing and was forced to beg and the proceeds she got from begging, she still shared.

Moreover, she did not discriminate anyone based on religion. Her humanitarian endeavors transcended all religious boundaries and as a result, she travelled all over the world doing humanitarian work. She established the Missionaries of Charity in 1950, which is still operating to this day, has more than 4000 members and is active in more than 100 nations. Although she is no longer with us, she will be forever be kept in the most precious place in our hearts.

A person does not need all the accomplishments of Mother Teresa to be considered ideal. At the end of the day, we were all given different talents and abilities. However, an ideal person always gives his personal best in whatever he does. It is due to this reason that an ideal person is trusted, loved, revered and admired for the right reasons. When an ideal person is not around, his absence is felt and people miss him. An ideal person put the needs of other first and strives to bring joy to the people around him every single day. An ideal person is hard to come by and sometimes we overlook him as the naïve guy next door. However, if the world was full of ideal persons, then it would be a better place.

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