How to Write the Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essays: Examples + Guide 2022/2023

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What are the carnegie mellon supplemental essay prompts.

If you combined a robber baron, a classic fruit, and an extra “L,” and somehow ended up with a top 25 university with an especially strong engineering program, you’d obviously name it Carnegie Mellon.

Carnegie Mellon’s supplemental essay prompts can feel more wide open than those for many other schools, stymying some students at first, but also offering an opportunity for students to differentiate themselves from other applicants.

The below guide will help you move past initial roadblocks.

If you want to get a clearer sense of what Carnegie Mellon is looking for, you can explore an extensive, by-the-numbers look at its offerings, from enrollment and tuition statistics to student life and financial aid information on its Common Data Set . And for insights into how the university envisions itself and its role, and how it wants to grow and evolve, read its strategic plan . Reading through this will give you a strong idea of what CMU values—and may offer nuggets you can sprinkle into your essay.

Most students choose their intended major or area of study based on a passion or inspiration that’s developed over time – what passion or inspiration led you to choose this area of study? (300 words)
Many students pursue college for a specific degree, career opportunity or personal goal. Whichever it may be, learning will be critical to achieve your ultimate goal. As you think ahead to the process of learning during your college years, how will you define a successful college experience? (300 words)
Consider your application as a whole. What do you personally want to emphasize about your application for the admission committee’s consideration? Highlight something that’s important to you or something you haven’t had a chance to share. Tell us, don’t show us (no websites please). (300 words)

How to Write Each Supplemental Essay Prompt for Carnegie Mellon University

How to write the carnegie mellon supplemental essay #1.

This is a standard “Why Major” prompt. For a larger guide to “Why Major” prompts, click here . Below is a condensed version.

One possible approach:

Think of this as a quick origin story.

Step #1: Imagine a mini-movie of the moments that led you to your interest and create a simple, bullet-point outline.

Step #2: Put your moments (aka the “scenes” of your mini-movie) in chronological order, as it’ll help you see how your interests developed. It also makes it easier to write transitions.

For CMU’s essay, try one scene per short paragraph.

Step #3: For CMU, you’ll likely want to include a specific thesis that explicitly states your central argument—in this case, what you want to study and why. This thesis can come at the beginning, middle, or end of your essay.

Once you have those pieces, you have a few structural options:

A. A hook that thematically sets up where you’ll take us, and ideally shows an aspect of your intellect/personality. (If you do this, it can be stylistically effective to bookend—to end the essay by linking back to what you opened with.)

B. An initial moment that sparked your interest.

C. Your thesis.

The moments of your mini-movie, illustrating both the development of your interest and some of your core values.

One option: Go narrower—perhaps link to specific aspects of CMU that will help you continue on your path toward a future goal.

Another option: Go wider—name the road you hope to follow ahead (for example, career path, organizations you’d like to work with, the greater value/implications of studying what you want to).

It’s important to note that, unlike at many schools, at CMU, it can be difficult to change majors (some departments don’t allow you to switch into their programs at all).

And last, a quick tip: Be sure this essay is consistent with your personal statement if you’ve mentioned aspects of your major/career there.

Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essay Example #1

At heart, I’m both regulatory bureaucrat and capitalistic entrepreneur.  Coming from a small business-owning family, I’ve grown up finding ways to one-up the competition, from boosting website search ranking with unconventional SEO to negotiating with book suppliers to cut costs. After all, our rent depends on our profits.  However, I also hold enormous respect for regulation. I vividly remember seeing my second grade classmate Nelson sprawled on the asphalt in front of the Chinese school we attended, accidentally run over by his teacher. I later discovered that afterschool was unlicensed: no safety training, no inspections, nothing. Years later, when my mother opened her own afterschool business, I filed the licensing documents and installed government-mandated guardrails. Though burdensome, regulation is crucial.  The afterschool industry taught me the inseparability of business and policy, but also sparked my curiosity concerning how political economics can leverage that relationship for maximal social benefit. In my Democratic Party internship, I examined how to incentivize below-market-rate housing construction without reducing overall supply. At FBLA Nationals, I delivered a presentation on management practices to reduce oil spills, increasing profits while meeting environmental standards. CMU strikes me as surprisingly similar to the afterschool industry: an environment where learning occurs through doing and where business and policy can be explored in tandem. I’m excited by the new Economics and Politics degree, which would allow me to take Tepper’s and Dietrich’s classes concurrently. I’d love to attend the Washington Semester Program, applying my education to policy at a greater scale than I am currently. And I’m intrigued by electives like Coffee and Capitalism, using my favorite drink as a microcosm of commerce and geopolitics.  Whether I become a leader in the afterschool industry or an elected official regulating it, I know CMU will enable this Capitalist Bureaucrat to catalyze purposeful impact.  — — —

Tips + Analysis:

Hook the reader. Notice how the first line performs a few functions here. First, it pulls us in and makes us curious what exactly they mean by this claim. Second, it shows some of the author’s personality, as there’s a slight wry humor to the juxtaposition (both in the self-effacing nature of referring to themselves as a bureaucrat, with its cultural connotations, and in the joining of two things that tend to be viewed as diametrically opposed). You’ll notice that the other example essays for this prompt hook us as well, giving us a quick sense of who the author is. 

Show the development of your interest through moments that connect to core values. Each paragraph provides details that show both intellectual and emotional links to the student’s chosen field, and that link to their core values (community involvement, integrity, etc). And they do a nice job of increasing the degree of the student’s interest and involvement (e.g. internship, FBLA Nationals), illustrating their dedication. Bonus points here for raising the stakes by mentioning their family’s rent is in part dependent on their work. 

A narrower ending—how CMU can help with the next steps. Above, the student has clearly thought about how CMU can help them on their path forward. (If you choose this option, be sure to avoid repetition with the next prompt.) 

Below are three more sample essays.  

Example #2:

How would our world change if we could print any image or text onto any surface with just a small portable printing device and a mobile app? Designing walls, tunnels, roads-- all these jobs would become effortless. To make my vision into reality, I created an Augmented Reality & Machine Learning app as well as a handheld printer prototype at Cornell's Computer Systems Lab last summer. My application harnesses the motion detection data and on-device deep neural networks to determine the surfaces surrounding the smartphone camera's view. Afterwards, the user can tap and drag an image on the camera screen of the smartphone to "prop up" an image onto any detected surface. Using the handheld printer, the user can print the virtually propped image onto the actual wall. I’ve grown more enthusiastic in my work every day because I’ve seen how innovative mobile apps can magically merge virtual objects into the real world for billions of smartphone users. The combination of data collection, analysis, and implementation of computer graphics and machine learning in my project has intensified my interest in Data Science. From analyzing the refugee crisis in the Middle East to detecting tumors at an early stage, the benefits that three quintillion bytes of data every day can provide are endless. As a Statistics and Machine Learning student at CMU, I look forward to continuing my project with deep neural networks and mixed reality, as well as discovering other interdisciplinary applications. Courses such as Modern Regression and Statistical Computing will help me use scientific methods to draw meaningful insights from data.  As the unprecedented increase in scale and importance of data revolutionizes a multitude of industries, Carnegie Mellon’s groundbreaking Statistics & Machine Learning curriculum and research opportunities will support my ambition for making a genuine impact in the world. — — —

Example #3:

When I was young, I drew planes almost everyday. Planes with three, four, or even eight turbines. Planes with multiple wings and two fuselages. My planes were impossible according to the laws of physics, but I tried to create them anyways.  In middle school, I became fascinated with building planes. After watching hundreds of hours of FliteTest on YouTube and building their kits, I was ready to create my own. My first idea started with a single wing. I drew up a 3’ 4” long wing on a sheet of foam board and, after drawing three more prototypes, I assembled it. Then, I wired the two servos and a single 2280kv Radial 2218 brushless motor. On its maiden flight, I threw it into the air and it went straight into the ground. Too much weight in the front, Kanishka. Back to the garage.  In high school, I became captivated with cars, more specifically hydrogen and electric cars. I created a Hydrogen Car team to compete in a hydrogen fuel cell endurance race. I learned how to make a fuel cell more efficient. Ambitious, I worked tirelessly to get to the world finals. I devised a way to use the motor’s thermal energy and convert it into electrical energy, making our car more efficient.  I am a creator. The laws of physics often hinder my creativity, but I keep trying to push the limits of what is possible.  In college, I hope to combine my research in hydrogen fuel cells and airplanes to design a new type of plane that isn’t electric or combustion based. I want to major in mechanical engineering to accomplish that. With a minor in AI, I’ll learn how to use neural networks to manage energy consumption in complex systems. — — —

Example #4:

One question + two statements + three sounds = Success. “Want to build a computer?” “Pass me the screwdriver.”  “Configure the BIOS.” *BEEEEP... ptung-ptung...* That is how I built my first computer with my dad. I was 10.  Computers have been a part of my life from a young age, but it wasn’t until later that I began to realize the degree to which computers can be used to solve the world’s major problems. This past summer at the Beaver Works Summer Institute at MIT, we were asked to brainstorm a problem to solve. Because of my Keratoconus surgery and my knowledge that worldwide blindness is projected to expand exponentially by 2050, my goal is to create artificial sight for the heavily visually impaired. Currently, bionic eyes, which cost over $150,000, allow a person to see only bright flashes of light; I hope to create an affordable device that allows the blind to see as if they had natural 20/20 vision.  A fully functional artificial eye requires the melding of many different fields of knowledge, such as the ways in which neurological nerves interact with circuits, the precise robotics needed to install the functionality of a high-resolution camera into a small package, and the artificial intelligence required to understand the habits of a specific human being. I have begun to learn how to utilize artificial intelligence, and I know I will continue expanding my understanding of A.I. at the collegiate level by majoring in Computer Science. Through my numerous difficulties with vision and my computer-centric upbringing as an engineer, I am determined to allow the blind to see again. What problem in the world today can you solve? Bionic eyes cost over $150,000. I can make a difference. *BEEEEP... ptung-ptung…* One question + two statements + three sounds = [Student], Engineer — — —

How to Write the Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essay For Prompt #2

This is one of those prompts we find “nutritional,” in large part because we’ve had some students who, before this prompt, had never thought before about what exactly “a successful college experience” would look like.

A few key things here:

Spend some time really investigating this. Give yourself space to think expansively. You can think in terms of career if you like, but also take some time to explore aspects of personal growth: Who is the human being you want to become? Are there ways that CMU can help you further develop your values?

Treat some of this essay as a "Why us?" —what does CMU offer that helps you on your path to becoming the human you want to be? Get specific. Show its admissions counselors that you’ve done your research and have thought about why you and the school are a good fit.

You’ll again want something thesis-ish in the essay, though you can build toward it rather than leading with it.

Here’s a sample essay:

My mouse hovered above the "Publish Website" button. The event-management website I developed (Gsca.us), which serves thousands of users in the Indian-American nonprofit I belong to, was about to go live. Filled with anticipation, I looked up at the small team that helped me with the website: the 65-year-old Chairman of GSCA and the 21-year-old college student who helped design the banners and logo for the site. Collaborating with an array of people from all ages, backgrounds, and experiences runs through my years developing software, engaging with my community, and conducting research projects.  Therefore, at Carnegie Mellon, I look forward to learning in an environment conducive to group learning. The fact that the walls and windows of many buildings are whiteboards, and that students carry around markers to collaborate and share ideas is a learning method that I resonate with. The different perspectives I will gain through working in groups, and exploring interdisciplinary coursework will be invaluable towards my overall intellectual development.  Outside of the classroom, I'll contribute to the variety of Indian cultural events - including Holi, Diwali, and Garba - supported by CMU OM. As a GSCA volunteer for the past 6 years, as mentioned above, my experience anchoring large events that serve thousands of Asian Americans, developing websites and social media publications, and raising funds for natural disasters and underprivileged students means I'll be able to contribute to similar events at CMU. Also, I am excited to engage in the 1000plus Day of Service to positively impact the Pittsburgh area through community service events.  By participating in CMU OM and 1000plus Day of Service, I will ultimately learn more about my own culture and character while serving my campus and surrounding city. Additionally, studying interdisciplinary courses in a collaborative setting will culminate in my successful college experience. — — —

Tips + Analysis

Hook the reader. Starting to notice a trend? As with the samples above, this essay dives in with a specific moment that gets us curious, and also immediately communicates aspects of identity and values (“serves thousands of users in the Indian-American nonprofit”).

Use details that connect to core values. For example, 65-year old Chairman, 21-year old college student → varied collaboration, community engagement, effective leadership.  

Show how you want to grow, and how a successful college experience plays into that growth. Students carrying around markers → collaboration and intellectual development. Engagement with Indian cultural events → greater engagement with and understanding of their own culture.

Get specific about how Carnegie Mellon fits the college experience you’re looking for, but keep the focus on you. The “Why us?” elements of the essay above get nice and specific about CMU, but they are always linked back to what the student is looking for, and why they and CMU fit well together.

Below are three more sample essays.

I escape English class with excitement and anticipation, bolting towards the school cafeteria to begin organizing the ingredients. Last year, I established Cooking on the Stove (COTS), a club where members could connect through common culinary interests. Through COTS, I discovered how to empower my classmates with a collective drive to experiment and test our creative recipes together. In a different realm, at the American Society of Anesthesiologists conference, I presented my internship data science project to anesthesiologists from across the globe. Navigating through the convention center, I was entranced by the thousands of presentations and products transforming the medical field. When presenting next to other researchers at the conference, I felt part of a global movement to overcome medical problems of every variety.   Building connections like these will be an important goal for me in college. On a personal level, I hope to establish COTS at Carnegie Mellon, cooking together with other food fanatics. Off-campus, I’d participate in study abroad with CMU’s chapter of Global Medical Brigades, where I’d get to know the students I travel with and others across the world who share my interests.  On a professional level, my college circle would start with research. In particular, I hope to work with faculty in improving the quality and accessibility of healthcare solutions across the world. By working in the Disruptive Health Technology Institute, I will connect with renowned faculty to develop innovative healthcare technologies that will shape the future. While strong academics set the stage for a good education, the true experience is defined by the network of people that I build along the way. In this network, growing individually becomes synonymous with growing together. — — —
At heart, I’m an inventor. In college, I want to take project-based classes and research to apply my learning. At CMU, I’ll be able to conduct research regarding energy at the Wilton E. Scott Institute for Energy Innovation. With professors like Jay Apt working there, I hope to find a way to make thermoelectric plates flexible and work under fewer temperature constraints.  I also want to pursue interdisciplinary activities and courses related to cooking. Every fall, I experiment with different recipes to find the right balance between nutmeg and vanilla extract in my pumpkin pies. At CMU, I can learn more about the science behind spices in Special Topics in Culinary Mechanics class, a unique class that combines engineering and food. I want to understand what is happening to the tissues and cells when a piece of meat is soft versus when hard.  I am eager to continue racing and competing at a more advanced level. Racing allows me to learn through pouring hours to explore an idea and then implement it. The mistakes I make introduce me to new topics. I aspire to be the lead engineer of the CMU racing team. Here, I would challenge my engineers to use AI and sensors to find where energy is getting lost through excess heat or sound. By utilizing every bit of energy, we can reduce weight and increase power.  I enjoy creating tangible, innovative products and designs because they force me to go beyond the classroom. At CMU, I’ll use the Swartz Center for Entrepreneurship to be part of the VentureBridge Program. There, I’ll be able to avoid common startup mistakes, recognize an ideal audience and market, and build a successful product.  College, for me, is a chance to bring my ideas to life through research, racing, and creating.  — — —
I hope to help the blind to see. My ambitious goal requires an equally ambitious undergraduate learning plan. There will be milestones to meet and communities of learning to foster.  In addition to my goal of helping the blind, I also intend to develop an algorithm that can create a fully-functional program through speech, using code generation and natural language processing. The Small Undergraduate Research Grants program will help me take the initial steps toward succeeding. The ultimate goal of this system would be to enable a layperson to create professional-grade software just by stating the intent of a program in an English sentence, which would liberate incredible ideas. The types of problems people could solve would not be limited by money, networking, or education. Taking tangible steps toward achieving this goal is integral to my idea of a successful college experience.  I also look forward to joining a community of engineers. From a young age, I’ve worked with those around me to create, design, and innovate. At Carnegie Mellon, I will become involved in organizations such as the Computer and Data Science clubs and will continue to be active in the competition math community through the Math Club. In addition, I intend to pursue a joint major in Statistics and Machine Learning, and take a secondary major in Human-Computer Interactions. Through my clubs and classes, I will foster a community of engineers: they will help me advance my ideas, while I in turn help them nurture theirs. I know my college experience will be successful when, through my coursework as a part of my major, and through my interactions with my community of engineers, I have taken steps towards achieving my milestone of creating a language-to-code translator as well as my ultimate goal of allowing the blind to see. — — —

How to Write the Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essay For Prompt #3

Now we’re wide open. Having the option to write about anything can be both exciting and daunting—with the myriad elements that make up you, how do you narrow it down? If you’re feeling adrift, here are some options. 

Before you start writing, take some time to zoom out and think about your application as a whole—between your main statement, your Activities List, your Additional Info section, and the above prompts, what parts of you is CMU seeing, and, importantly, is there anything they aren’t seeing that they maybe should be? 

A couple ways to approach this: 

A values scan—look through the elements of your application and think about what core values are being illustrated. Are there any of your core values that you’re leaving out? 

The “ Everything I Want Colleges to Know About Me ” exercise (which is useful to have done for any of your applications, not just this CMU prompt).

We’d also recommend thinking about taking the Super Essay approach—are there supplements you’ve written for other schools that could fit nicely here, with modification as needed?

For example, many schools have essay prompts that ask about communities to which you belong, or Stanford has its “What is meaningful to you and why?” prompt. Those essays can frequently fit nicely with this CMU prompt as well.

Ultimately, think of this essay as a way to show another core aspect of how you’ve become who you are.

My room’s got all the necessities--bed, desk, closet, posters--but there’s another desk with a PC, a microphone, a cassette-player, and an assortment of gadgets decorated with knobs and displays. I’ve gradually put my recording studio together over the years--including building the computer from scratch and working jobs to buy sound equipment. In the process, I’ve grown so familiar with it, it’s become a sanctuary--a place where I don’t have to worry about grades, breakups, insecurities.  As for Fortaleza, Brazil--its homeness wasn’t so immediately apparent.  I once believed that despite learning English from the ground up and struggling with several Americanisms, my Brazilian identity was just a matter of geography. But returning to Fortaleza this year showed me the tethers I was blind to. While browsing a crafts market, I met an elderly gentleman selling cordéis : booklets of long, narrative-driven lyrics musicians purchase and interpret. He told me he wrote them himself, and offered to play a song. And so, listening to this haunting, droning hymn, I looked through the various tales these authors had conceived… stories of Brazilian heroes, thieves, princesses. At that moment, I understood something—I’m not a musician for just any reason. This spirit of poetry, this faith in art and storytelling… it’s in my blood. Even in my home studio in Washington, I feel an energy being channeled from Fortaleza, through my fingers, into the music. As sambista João Bosco puts it: “with so many leaving/on the rocket’s tail/our motherland wept/on the soil of Brazil.” — — —

Discovery and growth. One thing we like about this essay is that we see the writer go on a quick voyage of discovery. They experienced a moment of insight that has been key in their development. One nice way to approach this prompt is by thinking about insights that have been pivotal to your growth. 

Tell them by also showing them. The prompt asks you to tell, not show, as in don’t give CMU a link to a website. But still show its admissions counselors you. You can do so through essence objects and details. Essence objects can help to infuse the essay with quick touchstones of character and values. For example, building the computer from scratch and working jobs to buy sound equipment show dedication and resourcefulness. The cordéis show us a sense of cultural value and identity.

The Super Essay approach. This essay was originally written for another school’s prompt regarding a community the student belonged to. With fairly few changes, it can work nicely for this CMU prompt as well.

I recognize quoting Einstein is beyond cliché, but one of his musings was definitive for me: “if I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician.” I’ve always been unwaveringly passionate for music--but Einstein’s observation cemented my passion for astrophysics.  There’s an immediate connection between science and music--when recording, I often use graphical analysis to balance frequencies, trigonometry to determine microphone placement, and wave mechanics to gauge acoustics. But I think it goes deeper. The Greeks believed creativity wasn’t creation--it was discovery . This implies art is indistinguishable from science, as both are deeply explorative ; and it aptly fits the connection Einstein alluded to. Musicians speak of artistic trances--where inspiration seems to strike from the ether--and scientists speak of the proverbial apple falling on Newton’s head, of Archimedes’ “eureka!” I’ve realized these catharses are identical--chord progressions come to me just as intuitions for quantum phenomena do.  Despite this similarity, choosing between physics and music means sacrificing part of my identity. So does choosing between passions for Brazilian sociology, investigative journalism, and philosophy. But by the time I graduate college, I hope to feel educationally fulfilled, and fulfillment isn’t isolationist--apples fall on physicists’ heads, but they also fall on musicians’, sociologists’, and philosophers' heads.  So, I dream of pursuing these fields unbounded by requirements: studying sociology while receiving a formal music education and researching quantum gravity. Although I don’t know what my apple’s going to be, I know that pigeonholing myself will only lead me farther from the tree. — — —

Example: #3

Every weekend I swim from a shark: kicking frantically, surrounded by ice cold ocean water, I am in survival mode. Except in reality I’m treading lightly as to not splash the fellow swimmers in a warm 10x7 meter pool while my five-year-old student, Marcus, follows closely.   After he had several unsuccessful attempts at finding an instructor who met his level of energy, I was able to cater to his needs as an autistic child. So every lesson, humming the Jaws theme, I am proud of gaining his trust and engagement while teaching him a serious life-skill. My relationship with Marcus has propelled me forward in my role as a Water Safety Instructor.  When I was on the swim team, I never received more than a participation ribbon, but I won lifelong friends and support. So when I hung my own racesuit up to dry, I knew I wanted to help others join the community too. As soon as legally possible, I became a certified instructor and now spend my weekend mornings teaching. I have worked with first timers to competitive swimmers, three-year-olds to middle schoolers, parents buried on their phones to those practically jumping in the pool, and everyone in between. With each interaction, I have learned to trust my intuition and value compromise. This community has taught me how to work with and support anyone, a skill I will carry for life. I have finally earned the gold medal for empowering new members of the swimming community. — — —
The first session of “A Galaxy of Stars: Modern Data in Stellar Astrophysics” ended and our teacher handed out the first homework assignment, encouraging us to work together. Taking his advice to heart, an hour later fifteen students crammed into a hot dorm room and got to work.  We shot questions back and forth:  “Who understands how to use parallax measurements?” “Did anyone else figure out the code for a stellar color-magnitude diagram?”  Everyone brought talents and unique perspectives to the challenge the homework presented, and before we knew it, the work was complete. So we got to talking, and the “astrogang” was formed. Sitting in this humid dorm room, I realized I had found my people. There was Maria who knew all about stars from her telescope, Luca the coding wiz, Noel who loved math more than anyone, and me, the go-to for physics. Everyone in the group was so engaged and excited about science and learning, just like me, and that was an experience I had never had before. Every day after that, we met up to work together, play ping pong under the sun, and scrimmage soccer down by the river. We debated politics, discussed astronomical theories, and compared cultures, each of us learning from what the others shared.  As the astrogang, I’m certain we would have expanded our research beyond the stars to encompass black holes or dark matter. But even now, scattered across the globe, we will always be the kid scientists who look to the sky for answers, and I hope that I will meet other students who will continue what the original astrogang began. — — —

Special thanks to Andy for writing this post.

Andy CEG

Andrew has worked as an educator, consultant, and curriculum writer for the past 15 years, and attended Stanford and Oxford, earning degrees in Political Science and Drama. He feels most at home on mountain tops.

  Top Values:  Insight/Growth | Truth | Integrity

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Carnegie Mellon University 2022-23 Supplemental Essay Prompt Guide 

Regular Decision Deadline: Jan 3

You Have: 

Carnegie Mellon University 2022-23 Application Essay Question Explanations

The Requirements: 3 short essays of 300 words

Supplemental Essay Type(s):   Why ,  Short Answer

Many students pursue college for a specific degree, career opportunity or personal goal. Whichever it may be, learning will be critical to achieve your ultimate goal. As you think ahead to the process of learning during your college years, how will you define a successful college experience?

So many factors go into shaping your educational experience: course selection, professors, classmates, campus culture, even the city where you’ll live. Think through how each of these will affect you and jot down some examples of what you’re looking for in each. Do you value a professor who is accessible via office hours? Do you focus well in a stadium-seating lecture hall? Are you excited to start a small study group for your Shakespeare: Comedies and Romances  literature course? Additionally, do some research on their website and show them that you value what they specifically have to offer. Give them a peek into how you learn and help them visualize you as a thriving student in their community.

Most students choose their intended major or area of study based on a passion or inspiration that’s developed over time – what passion or inspiration led you to choose this area of study?

This prompt sounds simple enough: describe what you want to study and why you like it so much so that you’re willing to dedicate four years of your life to it (at the very least). While you might be tempted to get technical or poetic in your response, your reader will expect you to connect your intended major with some prior experience and/or passion. In other words, tell a story. Lucky for you, we would have advised you to start with an anecdote anyway. The most personal, memorable essays spring from concrete descriptions of your lived experience. What excites you and why? When was the last time you got drawn down a Reddit rabbit hole – and what was the topic? While you don’t need to drill to the origin of your interest in a given topic, try to zero in on some formative experience: the best TED Talk you ever watched, the first time you spoke to your new friend in ASL, that one time when you shadowed an EMT and saw what it’s like to help people in need! Your story should showcase your unique connection to your chosen course of study. And don’t forget: CMU asks what passion OR inspiration led you to choose this area of study. You can also talk about a particularly powerful book you read or a life-changing experience that set you on this path. Just make sure to use details to bring your story to life.

Consider your application as a whole. What do you personally want to emphasize about your application for the admission committee’s consideration? Highlight something that’s important to you or something you haven’t had a chance to share. Tell us, don’t show us (no websites please).

This prompt is a kind of free for all opportunity. Much like Common App’s prompt #7 , CMU is giving you free reign to write about any topic under the sun. If you’re overwhelmed by all the potential possibilities, don’t fret. Instead take a breath and ask yourself: What doesn’t admissions know about me yet? What do I wish I’d had more space to write about on my resume or activity list? If you’ve written a supplemental essay for another school about a particularly rewarding activity, this is an excellent place to tweak and recycle that essay. Almost any essay that you have already written in response to supplemental essay prompts for other schools will be applicable here, as long as it doesn’t address what you want to study or how you work with others. If you haven’t already drafted any others supplemental essays that would fit here, feel free to seek inspiration in the prompts for other schools (ideally the ones on your list). Worst case scenario, revisit your personal statement brainstorming notes and think about the topics that you almost wrote about. Can you write about any of those memories or stories in 200 words?

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Important application dates

Mark these important dates on your calendar.

The deadline for Fall 2023 applications was February 1. To learn more about submitting a late application, please click  here .

Information about applying

Online application form, writing supplement essay.

The Writing Supplement Essay will give us a sense of who you are as a person, beyond your grades and test scores. The statement also demonstrates your ability to organize thoughts and express yourself.

The question for the Writing Supplement Essay can be found in CMU-Q’s Writing Supplement section within the Common Application.

Please note that while the Writing Supplement Essay is required, there is also an essay in the common part of the Common Application. This essay is optional for applicants to CMU-Q.

Official and complete academic transcripts

All transcripts and official results are submitted by your college counselor, principal or academic advisor through the Common Application. Please invite your school official through the feature inside your CMU-Q Common App.

Your academic transcripts show us your secondary school performance, which is the main factor in our admission decision. We pay close attention to the curriculum rigor and the grades you have earned.

We require:

Official TOEFL, IELTS or Duolingo results

To demonstrate your proficiency in English, CMU-Q requires applicants to submit official TOEFL, IELTS, or Duolingo results.

CMU-Q will accept both the TOEFL iBT  and the new  TOEFL iBT Special Home Edition . Please follow the links for further information on test dates and locations.

Use code  4246  for TOEFL score reports to be sent to Carnegie Mellon.

For Fall 2023 admission, CMU-Q will be accepting the both IELTS Academics and IELTS for UKVI  and the new  IELTS Indicator . Please follow the links for further information on test dates and locations. Please note, the IELTS Indicator is currently not offered by the British Council to residents in Qatar.

You can also register for a test directly with the British Council office in your country. In Qatar, the British Council office in Doha can be contacted on 800 5501.

CMU-Q now accepts the Duolingo English Test as an equivalent for the TOEFL or IELTS.  To learn more about the Duolingo English Test and how to send results, please visit Duolingo’s site .

Waiver Policy for TOEFL/IELTS/Duolingo

The TOEFL/IELTS/Duolingo requirement may be waived if an applicant qualifies under our waiver policy.

Option 1: Waiving the TOEFL/IELTS/Duolingo requirement through SAT/ACT score

If you have a score of 600 or higher on the SAT Reading and Writing Section OR a score of 26 or higher on both the English and Reading sections of the ACT, you will automatically qualify for a waiver from the TOEFL/IELTS/Duolingo. There is no need to initiate a request for waiver through the Office of Admission.

Option 2: Waiving the TOEFL/IELTS/Duolingo requirement through primary and native language confirmation

If English is ALL of the below, you may send an email to the Office of Admission describing in detail your language background:

All Option 2 waiver requests will be considered by the Director of Admission. If approved, the information will be verified with your high school counselor.

Letters of recommendation

One letter of recommendation from a  college counselor, principal, or academic advisor  is required.

Additionally, one letter of recommendation from a  teacher or professor  is required.

All recommendation letters are submitted by your recommenders through the Common Application .  Please invite your recommenders through the feature inside your CMU-Q Common App.

We are looking for information that will help us know you better as a person and as a student. Recommendations from school counselors, advisors, headmasters or teachers provide insight regarding your academic potential and character.

Passport and biographical information

A copy of your passport must be uploaded to our Passport and Biographical Page .  This requirement can only be submitted electronically through the page, as paper copies will not be accepted through regular mail or at the Office of Admission.

Please note:   Your Common Application ID is also required to submit this form.  This form can be submitted after starting your Common Application to CMU-Q.  The Common App ID is provided immediately when starting the Common Application.

Official SAT or ACT results (optional)

CMU-Q is ACT/SAT optional for Fall 2023 applications. However, we require the IELTS/TOEFL/Duolingo for all students, unless they meet our waiver policy (as detailed under the ‘Official TOEFL/IELTS/Duolingo results’ section).

If you choose to submit ACT/SAT scores with your application, CMU-Q must receive all scores by the application deadline of February 1.

SAT Please see the College Board website for information on test dates and locations.

Use code  4246 for official SAT score reports to be sent to Carnegie Mellon Qatar.

Interview (optional)

Request an On-Campus Interview  (students residing in Qatar only)

Application fee

A non-refundable $70 USD application fee must be paid online through credit card upon completion of the Common Application.  If needed, a fee waiver can be requested inside the Common App.

Contact the Office of Admission

We're here to help!

4 Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essay Examples (2023)

Ryan

If you want to get into Carnegie Mellon in 2023, you'll need to write responses to CMU's writing supplement that help you stand out and get accepted.

In this article, I've gathered 4 of the best CMU essays that worked to hopefully get you inspired to write your own stand-out essays.

I've also included this year's supplemental prompts for CMU and some ideas for getting started.

Let's get started.

What is Carnegie Mellon's Acceptance Rate?

Getting into Carnegie Mellon is more difficult every year. Last year, 42,015 students applied to CMU and only 7,143 students were admitted.

Which means Carnegie Mellon University an overall acceptance rate of 17% , or in other words less than every 1 in 5 students get admitted each year.

And admissions into certain programs like Computer Science or the School of Drama is even more competitive, with acceptances rates of 7% and 4% each.

Carnegie Mellon Acceptance Scattergram

That's a comparable admit rate to the most selective Ivy League schools like Princeton University for example.

To have your best chances of getting into CMU, you'll need to write great essay responses. Below are 4 of the best examples of CMU essays to help improve your essays and get accepted.

What are the Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Prompts for 2022-23?

This year Carnegie Mellon requires students to write three short essays of 300 words each.

Here are the Carnegie Mellon University writing supplement prompts for 2022. The questions on this page are being asked by Carnegie Mellon University:

Most students choose their intended major or area of study based on a passion or inspiration that’s developed over time – what passion or inspiration led you to choose this area of study? (300 word maximum)

Many students pursue college for a specific degree, career opportunity or personal goal. Whichever it may be, learning will be critical to achieve your ultimate goal. As you think ahead to the process of learning during your college years, how will you define a successful college experience? (300 word maximum)

Consider your application as a whole. What do you personally want to emphasize about your application for the admission committee’s consideration? Highlight something that’s important to you or something you haven’t had a chance to share. Tell us, don’t show us (no websites please). (300 word maximum)

Carnegie Mellon has used these prompts in past years.

And below you'll find several examples of essays that responded to these prompts. I've also included some personal statement essays from admitted CMU students.

4 Carnegie Mellon University Essays That Worked

It's safe to say students who get into Carnegie Mellon write interesting and creative application essays. Or at least these ones did.

Here are 4 of the best Carnegie Mellon essays that have helped students get admitted.

Carnegie Mellon Essay Example #1

Carnegie mellon essay example #2, carnegie mellon essay example #3, carnegie mellon essay example #4.

Prompt: Most students choose their intended major or area of study based on a passion or inspiration that’s developed over time – what passion or inspiration led you to choose this area of study? (300 words max)

When I was younger, I faced a lot of negative emotions including anxiety and low self-esteem. For a long time, I felt alone and as if no one understood how I felt. My self confidence was at an all-time low when I started taking psychology. All of a sudden the negative emotions I was feeling started making sense. I was suddenly able to understand how people were wired and why others treated me a certain way. I in fact was able to feel empathy for my aggressors after understanding that those who treated me negatively often faced struggles of their own. Most importantly, I felt as though something out there finally understood me. Because psychology offered insight into my own behavior and helped me to understand others, I was eventually able to overcome my insecurities.

In the future, I would like to help others do the same. No matter where I end up, understanding why people behave a certain way and being more considerate and empathetic for others will only help me thrive. Mental health is a growing issue in our society. The world we live in is a confusing place filled with pain, but psychology provides a way to determine the cause of this suffering and how to change it. I never want anyone to feel the isolation and sorrow I felt when I was younger. I want to help others become compassionate and unconditionally loving not just toward others, but to themselves. Even if I only make a small change in the world and affect just one person’s life, I would like to pursue that.

Essays That Worked Database

Get access to our huge essay database and learn the secrets of what really works.

Prompt: Consider your application as a whole. What do you personally want to emphasize about your application for the admission committee’s consideration? Highlight something that’s important to you or something you haven’t had a chance to share. Tell us, don’t show us (no websites please). (300 words max)

I recall entering the intimidating world of high school as an exorbitantly introverted, stereotypical Asian girl. My father urged me to assert myself and attempt new activities I wouldn’t have typically participated in. I didn’t want to be disappointed in twenty years by the things I didn’t attempt in high school, so I decided to pursue my long-time dream of becoming a cheerleader. I had always admired the optimism that cheerleaders had, and I was at a point in my life where I needed more positivity.

I faced obstacles trying to join the team. An Asian cheerleader? But Asians were supposed to be smart and cheerleaders were dumb! I broke racial stereotypes by becoming the first Asian cheerleader in my high school.

When I made the squad, I was exposed to individuals which whom I did not ordinarily traverse paths. I stepped outside of my bubble and met girls who were extremely extroverted and seemed to be in a constant state of elation. They taught me how to spread positivity throughout my daily interactions and taught me to use optimism as a strength in facing the hurdles of life. These were qualities I would have never learned from a textbook.

My parents had possessed strong reservations about me joining and feared I would meet girls who weren’t motivated in academics. This was false. Many of the girls were brilliant and creative in ways my regular friend group wasn’t. All avenues of life met there on that team.

Cheerleading was the rain and sun that helped a small seed like me bloom into a flower. It delights me knowing that I gained social skills and made friends I never thought I could gain. Cheerleading has changed my perspective on life and joining that family is one of my greatest treasures.

23 College Essay Tips To Help You Stand Out

Prompt: “When we‘re connected to others, we become better people,” said Carnegie Mellon University‘s Randy Pausch, author of The Last Lecture .

At Carnegie Mellon you‘ll have the opportunity to collaborate with a diverse community of scholars, artists and innovators. Given the students, faculty, staff and resources that have been available to you as a student, how have you collaborated with others, in or out of the classroom?

Or, what lessons have you learned from working with others in the past, that might shape your experience in the future? (300 words max)

Because it took some time for me to pass my driving test, I was unable to get a traditional job at the same age as the rest of my peers. I had another friend who was also unable to drive. To fund our shopping addictions, we started our own business, "Velour Slimes," where we sold slimes of a diverse number of scents and textures. The experience gave us a taste of entrepreneurship and the elements of what it takes to run a successful business. One of those elements was collaboration.

Going into business with a friend can get ugly, even with a small scale operation like ours. One of our most grueling conflicts was deciding whether to spend our first profit paying off our debts or buying new materials to make more slime with. Neither of us were transparent with our goals, or on the same page. We let our conflict escalate to the point where we could not look at each other. Eventually we solved our issue by effectively communicating together. By being honest with each other about our ideas and concisely supporting our arguments with evidence, we were able to understand each other and find a balance. In the end, we compromised. We spent half of the money paying off our debts and the other half on more materials to create even more slimes.

This experience brought me closer to my friend. We were able to strengthen our relationship while becoming more understanding and considerate of each others’ feelings. I discovered empathy is deeply necessary in improving the negative aspects of modern day society. If we were all a bit more empathetic, the world would be a more pleasant place. For that reason, I try to continuously improve my own compassion.

Hundreds of the Best College Essay Examples

Prompt: Why Carnegie Mellon? (650 words max)

As a child who hid behind her parents and never uttered a word whenever strangers were near, I was no stranger to people deeming me shy. As I got older, however, I found my voice more comfortably through music, through art, and through writing .

Playing Mozart’s Violin Concerto in the Kennedy Center , for instance, unleashed a swell of emotions through the intricate art of storytelling with my violin. I was drawn to writing stories and sharing ideas with my peers, starting my editor career in fifth grade. Five years later, I co-founded my high school’s literary magazine, Muses, which provides a platform for all voices while fostering connections among students.

I was twelve years old when a HTML class through John Hopkins University’s Center for Talented Youth program introduced me to a modern language of communication: computers and the Internet. Falling in love with coding and website design, I utilized my newfound knowledge to design a website for my National History Day project, which won the school competition. In high school, I joined programming club, took the rigorous computer science classes, and designed Muses’ website. This year, I created a conceptual online boutique store, which won first place in Maryland Future Business Leader Association’s E-business competitive event.

In the summer of [Date] , I interned in a NCI melanoma research lab. This experience completed changed how I viewed the importance of technology to modern communication. We had obtained genotypes from thousands of melanoma patients and controls, but a new question arose: how could we extract the useful information from a massive data file , akin to finding a needle in a haystack ? Under the guidance of a bioinformatician, I performed an association test between melanoma associated variants and survival outcome to identify the risk loci that might affect patient survival.

Catering to the needs of the scientists, I wrote an app by R code that organizes and manages melanoma genotype information; extracting the information of a particular genotype and its association with melanoma was now a couple clicks away . From this work, I learned how to translate large data into solutions, while using the correct data format and data structure. I realized that modern technology not only helps us communicate more efficiently, but also provides a system upon which we can solve global problems.

With a strong background in computer science and communications, I hope to incorporate both into a future career of building data systems, conducting research, and consulting for organizations that serve underrepresented citizens.

One project I want to tackle is the modification of social media algorithms so that media created by minorities and/or for minorities will appear on users’ radars. The algorithm would analyze the user’s demographics and deliver news relevant to those traits, such as discoveries about Asian health issues showing up on Asian users’ feeds. Carnegie Mellon’s encouragement of interdisciplinary studies under the Information Systems major would allow me to accomplish this and so much more. As someone who attacks calculus and creative writing with equal enthusiasm , IS’ objective of providing students with a broad background in the humanities and sciences is very appealing. As someone who learned to work as a team in a research lab, CMU’s emphasis on collaboration and student innovation would push me to further improve my teamwork and problem-solving skills.

In particular, I hope to take advantage of CMU’s Technology Consulting in the Global Community program , receiving guidance from both CMU’s renowned faculty and international technology experts. To that end, the Social and Decision Sciences major, my second choice, would also prepare me to utilize similar decision-making and analysis skills to solve social problems.

We live in a world where communication through technology connects communities across the globe, more so than ever before. The future of exploration and innovation requires us to develop efficient ways of communication - we need a combination of scientific expertise and knowledge grounded in the humanities to accurately convey ideas, solve problems and make the planet a better home for us all. An education at Carnegie Mellon would propel me in this endeavor.

Why This Essay Works:

What Could Be Improved:

If you're trying to get into Carnegie Mellon, here are 4 of the best essays that worked. Read example answers to Carnegie Mellon's writing supplement for 2022 and see how other students got into CMU.

What did you think of these Carnegie Mellon essays?

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College Essays

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Carnegie Mellon is ranked among the top 25 universities in the nation , so you'll need to have an impressive application—with stand-out essays, of course!—in order to get admitted. Applicants must submit a total of four Carnegie Mellon essays, three of which comprise the Carnegie Mellon supplement.

Keep reading to learn what the current Carnegie Mellon essay prompts are, what topics you could write about, and what qualities make for a great Carnegie Mellon essay.

Feature Image: Mathieu Thouvenin /Flickr

What Are the Carnegie Mellon Essay Prompts?

In addition to the personal statement you must write for the Common App (for which you get to select one out of seven possible prompts), Carnegie Mellon requires all applicants to submit three supplemental essays; these essays make up the Carnegie Mellon Supplement.

Applicants are not allowed to submit other supplemental materials with their applications, such as websites, artwork, or resumes. (Note that the only exception to this is if you're applying to a school that requires additional materials , such as the School of Architecture.)

Each essay may be up to 300 words long, making them a little shorter than your typical personal statement for college, which is usually around 500-600 words.

So what are the Carnegie Mellon essay prompts? Let's take a look:

Most students choose their intended major or area of study based on a passion or inspiration that's developed over time—what passion or inspiration led you to choose this area of study?

Many students pursue college for a specific degree, career opportunity or personal goal. Whichever it may be, learning will be critical to achieve your ultimate goal. As you think ahead to the process of learning during your college years, how will you define a successful college experience?

Consider your application as a whole. What do you personally want to emphasize about your application for the admission committee's consideration? Highlight something that's important to you or something you haven't had a chance to share. Tell us, don't show us (no websites please).

As you can see, each Carnegie Mellon essay you must write will focus on something different about yourself. Specifically, you must explain the following in your essays:

How should you write each Carnegie Mellon essay? We give you specific tips next.

All Carnegie Mellon Essay Prompts, Analyzed

In this section, we'll go over the three Carnegie Mellon essay prompts in detail, giving you key tips so you can ensure your essays stand out from the rest of the crowd.

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Carnegie Mellon Essay 1: Your Intended Major

Though it might look a little wordy, all this Carnegie Mellon essay prompt is really asking is, "Why this major?" More specifically, this prompt wants you to relate the intellectual path you've taken by explaining the experiences, people, and/or events that have led you to want to major in this particular field.

By far the most effective way to answer this prompt is to tell a compelling story about how you came to be interested in your intended major. Think about the most important moments from your life that showcase your love of what you want to study, and then write about those.

For example, say you plan to major in musical composition. You could start off by recounting the first time you tried to write a piece of music on your family's piano and how hard it was. However, you really enjoyed the process of creating something new. This prompted you to enroll in weekly piano lessons; you also continued to compose piano pieces in your spare time. As a sophomore, you decided to enter your school's talent show and ended up winning with a musical piece you'd composed.

While you don't need to stick to chronological order, using this organization ensures your essay is easy to follow and clearly illustrates how you progressed from someone who knew nothing about the field to someone now highly devoted to it.

In addition, be sure to focus on not only how you became interested in your major but also how this journey of discovering your passion has affected you and your goals. For example, perhaps you want to major in architecture because you hope to use your skills to encourage eco-friendly living and therefore combat the effects of climate change.

It's also a good idea to mention, explicitly or implicitly, how Carnegie Mellon will help you accomplish your goals in your intended field. You could talk briefly about a particular faculty member in your field whom you hope to work with, an expensive piece of equipment offered at Carnegie Mellon, or specific professional opportunities available to students.

Finally, be careful not to exaggerate. Don't say you suddenly developed an interest in literature after reading The Great Gatsby for English class if you actually loathed the book or had a passion for literature well before then.

It's OK if there wasn't one single moment in your life that made you realize this major was the right one for you. Instead of acting as though some particular incident was more significant than it actually was, just focus on the overall journey you took to get to the point you're at now—that is, the major you've chosen to pursue.

Carnegie Mellon Essay 2: Why You're Going to College

Going to college isn't just about getting your degree. That's part of it, of course—you'd feel pretty cheated if you got all the way through college only to find out that you weren't getting your degree—but learning new things and growing as a person are also really important.

In this essay, Carnegie Mellon wants to see you discuss how learning, not just having a degree, will represent your growth in college. That might feel a little intimidating since you haven't actually left for college yet, but you have two important things to draw on: experience in your prior education, and your hopes for the future.

When responding to this prompt, think less about the individual classes you'll take, what grades you'll get in them, or what essays you'll write. Think about the learning process, all the little things that go into your education beyond the grades and assignments. How do you learn? And beyond that, what did you learn?

Think about what having a "successful college experience" would look like for you. When you graduate, what knowledge and experience do you hope to have? What unique experiences will you have at Carnegie Mellon that will shape the person you ultimately want to become?

This is a time to be specific. Maybe you see yourself as belonging to a thriving intellectual community, and thought-provoking discussion is one of the ways that you learn best. You can look at what groups there are on campus, for example, and see which ones you'd like to join.

Joining re:verb might be a way that you connect with other people who love having thought-provoking discussions, or maybe you're drawn more toward MOSIAC to learn about concepts like intersectionality. You can identify groups that appeal to you in your specific niche, and mention them in your essay as places where you hope to find your intellectual community.

Of course, that's not the only way to go about it. The important thing you need to convey is that you have an interest not just in attaining your diploma, but in the experience of learning. How you do that is up to you—you can describe how you learn and how Carnegie Mellon will help enrich you as a person through their teaching methods, through being around other accomplished and intellectual individuals, or by naming specific clubs, groups, or classes you want to be part of.

Show Carnegie Mellon how you learn and how they'll contribute to your specific goals, and you'll be on the right track!

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Carnegie Mellon Essay 3: Something Important About You

This essay prompt is the most open-ended of the three and a great opportunity to really dig into any important attributes of yourself that you feel you didn't get to write enough about or at all in other parts of your application.

Did you write about something in another essay, such as the one you wrote for the Common App, that you wish to talk about more here? Do you want to write about something that's important to you and that you haven't had a chance to elaborate on yet?

Your topics are pretty endless here —just make sure whatever you write about for this essay is revealing something important that you think the admissions committee should know about you.

This could be a specific personality trait —maybe you want to emphasize your leadership skills by talking about your role as team leader at the local youth club—or something about your life that's had a major impact on how you see yourself and your future.

Here are some topics you could write about (but don't feel limited by these suggestions!):

Once again, don't try to write about what you think the CMU admissions committee wants to read—be honest about what's important to you and why. If you volunteered somewhere a few times but didn't enjoy it or gain anything valuable from it, do not write about it here!

Similarly, don't be afraid to focus on something seemingly mundane. Just be sure you're using the topic you choose—even if it's pretty commonplace—to ultimately reveal something important about you. So, no, it's probably not a good idea to write about how you spend hours on Instagram every day, since this hobby isn't really revealing anything significant about you, your goals, or your personal growth.

2 Real Carnegie Mellon Essay Examples + Analysis

In order to write a great Carnegie Mellon essay, it helps to see what kinds of essays actually got applicants accepted to this prestigious university. Here, we give you two real Carnegie Mellon essay examples we found online and explain what makes them successful.

Carnegie Mellon Essay Example 1

This first of the two Carnegie Mellon essay examples comes from the college essays website Essays That Worked . The essay is quite long— more than 650 words! —and was written in response to the following (old) supplemental Carnegie Mellon essay prompt:

And now here's the essay:

When I was younger, I faced a lot of negative emotions including anxiety and low self-esteem. For a long time, I felt alone and as if no one understood how I felt. My self confidence was at an all-time low when I started taking psychology. All of a sudden the negative emotions I was feeling started making sense. I was suddenly able to understand how people were wired and why others treated me a certain way. I in fact was able to feel empathy for my aggressors after understanding that those who treated me negatively often faced struggles of their own.

Most importantly, I felt as though something out there finally understood me. Because psychology offered insight into my own behavior and helped me to understand others, I was eventually able to overcome my insecurities. In the future, I would like to help others do the same. No matter where I end up, understanding why people behave a certain way and being more considerate and empathetic for others will only help me thrive. Mental health is a growing issue in our society. The world we live in is a confusing place filled with pain, but psychology provides a way to determine the cause of this suffering and how to change it. I never want anyone to feel the isolation and sorrow I felt when I was younger.

I want to help others become compassionate and unconditionally loving not just toward others, but to themselves. Even if I only make a small change in the world and affect just one person’s life, I would like to pursue that.

Here's why this Carnegie Mellon essay works so well:

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Carnegie Mellon Essay Example 2

This second Carnegie Mellon essay example also comes from the website Essays That Worked and, like the essay above, responds to a current Carnegie Mellon essay prompt .

It was written in response to Carnegie Mellon essay prompt number three:

Consider your application as a whole. What do you personally want to emphasize about your application for the admission committee’s consideration? Highlight something that’s important to you or something you haven’t had a chance to share. Tell us, don’t show us (no websites please). (300 words max)

Here is the essay:

I recall entering the intimidating world of high school as an exorbitantly introverted, stereotypical Asian girl. My father urged me to assert myself and attempt new activities I wouldn’t have typically participated in. I didn’t want to be disappointed in twenty years by the things I didn’t attempt in high school, so I decided to pursue my long-time dream of becoming a cheerleader. I had always admired the optimism that cheerleaders had, and I was at a point in my life where I needed more positivity.

I faced obstacles trying to join the team. An Asian cheerleader? But Asians were supposed to be smart and cheerleaders were dumb! I broke racial stereotypes by becoming the first Asian cheerleader in my high school. When I made the squad, I was exposed to individuals which whom I did not ordinarily traverse paths. I stepped outside of my bubble and met girls who were extremely extroverted and seemed to be in a constant state of elation. They taught me how to spread positivity throughout my daily interactions and taught me to use optimism as a strength in facing the hurdles of life. These were qualities I would have never learned from a textbook.

My parents had possessed strong reservations about me joining and feared I would meet girls who weren’t motivated in academics. This was false. Many of the girls were brilliant and creative in ways my regular friend group wasn’t. All avenues of life met there on that team.

Cheerleading was the rain and sun that helped a small seed like me bloom into a flower. It delights me knowing that I gained social skills and made friends I never thought I could gain. Cheerleading has changed my perspective on life and joining that family is one of my greatest treasures.

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4 Tips for a Great Carnegie Mellon Essay

As you now know, you'll need to write three essays for the Carnegie Mellon supplement. Here are some general tips to keep in mind as you begin to work on each Carnegie Mellon essay.

#1: Use Highly Specific Details

Don't rely on catch-all phrases to get your points across in your essays. Instead, try to think of real, concrete examples you can use.

Specific details will make each Carnegie Mellon essay you write (and your application as a whole!) stand apart from others; it also proves to the admissions committee that you know what kinds of opportunities are available to you at Carnegie Mellon.

#2: Avoid Exaggeration—Be Yourself!

Many students think they need to write about topics that sound "impressive," but this isn't actually what admissions committees want. What they really want is to learn more about who you are, what you sound like naturally (on paper, of course), and what you value in life.

This is why it's so important for you to clearly channel your voice in your writing. For example, it's OK to tell a joke or focus on a lighthearted topic if you would describe yourself as a comedian.

Just make sure that, no matter what kind of topic you choose or how you write, you're ultimately making a bigger, important point about yourself —one that ideally emphasizes essential facets of your personality, your experiences, and/or your ambitions.

#3: Don't Repeat Anything You've Written for Your Common App Essay

Carnegie Mellon requires all applicants to submit the Common App essay in addition to the three essays described above, so you'll want to ensure there's not too much overlap between them. While it's OK to elaborate on a specific topic or point that you briefly mentioned in another essay, don't end up writing about the same experience more than once.

The point of these essays is to showcase various aspects of your personality and life, and you won't succeed if all you're doing is repeating yourself in each Carnegie Mellon essay!

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#4: Edit, Polish, and Proofread

Our final tip is to take a lot of time to edit, polish, and proofread each Carnegie Mellon essay you write. Look over each essay multiple times to catch typos and other technical errors, such as grammatical problems, and spelling mistakes.

You should also be on the lookout for the following problems:

Once you've edited and changed your essays a few times, give them to someone you trust, such as a teacher, mentor, or parent, and have that person offer feedback on how you could improve your writing.

Here are some key questions to ask this person to think about as they edit your essay:

With all these tips in mind, you should definitely be able to write a great Carnegie Mellon essay!

What's Next?

You'll need to use the Common App if you're applying to Carnegie Mellon. Get tips on how to write a great Common App essay with our expert guide.

Thinking of applying to other great schools like Princeton , Brown , or Columbia ? Then be sure to check out our guides to learn how you can write amazing essays for these schools' supplements.

Learn more about Carnegie Mellon's admission requirements by visiting its school page in our extensive database.

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2022-23 Carnegie Mellon (CMU) Essays – Prompts and Tips

When applying to a school like Carnegie Mellon that receives 26,000+ applications each year, it’s important to keep in mind that around 22,000 of this group will ultimately be denied admission. Many of these 22,000 rejected individuals will have straight A’s in high school and/or SATs in the 1500s. Those applying to certain programs—computer science, for example—will face even more harrowing odds. We don’t bring up this harsh reality in an attempt to crush your dreams or deter you from applying. Rather, we want to impart to prospective CMU applicants the need to maximize every component of your application. The aim is to ultimately shine just a touch brighter than your well-qualified competition. This includes the Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays.

(Want to learn more about How to Get Into Carnegie Mellon University? Visit our blog entitled:  How to Get Into Carnegie Mellon: Admissions Data and Strategies  for all of the most recent admissions data as well as tips for gaining acceptance.)

The three 300-word essays required by Carnegie Mellon give applicants the chance they need to separate themselves from the throngs of other extremely talented and deserving CMU hopefuls. Below are CMU’s supplemental prompts for the 2022-23 admissions cycle along with tips about how to address each one.

Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essays – #1

Required – (300 word limit)

Most students choose their intended major or area of study based on a passion or inspiration that’s developed over time – what passion or inspiration led you to choose this area of study?

Here, CMU is asking you to share your story of how you became interested in your selected discipline. You can structure the narrative of this essay as a soup to nuts chronicling of your entire journey toward your discipline of interest. Contrarily, you could share one or two vignettes that illustrate your burgeoning passion for engineering, history, French, computer science, business, psychology, etc. As you begin the prewriting phase, you may want to ask yourself the following questions:

CMU Supplemental Essays – #2

Many students pursue college for a specific degree, career opportunity or personal goal. whichever it may be, learning will be critical to achieve your ultimate goal. as you think ahead to the process of learning during your college years, how will you define a successful college experience.

There’s a lot to unpack in this prompt before you even enter the brainstorming phase of the essay-writing process. First they want to know a bit about your goals in earning a CMU degree. These goals could be:

Given that CMU requires you to apply to a particular college within the larger university, you likely already have a reasonably strong notion of what discipline you hope to study. You’ll definitely want to share everything you already know about the degree you aim to earn. Additionally, you’ll want to discuss how that fits into your larger life plans.

Next, you’ll want to take note of the fact that “learning” is mentioned twice in this prompt, a solid indicator that CMU is sincerely interested in how you will take advantage of the unique learning opportunities available to you at their instruction. While not required, you should consider discussing items such as:

In short, generic thoughts about how you envision engaging in the learning process throughout your collegiate experience are perfectly fine, but school-specific detail can take an essay from good to great.

CMU supplemental Essays – #3

Consider your application as a whole. what do you personally want to emphasize about your application for the admission committee’s consideration highlight something that’s important to you or something you haven’t had a chance to share. tell us, don’t show us (no websites please)..

After completing your main Common App essay and the first two CMU essays, is there anything that you have yet to share that is absolutely elemental to who you are as a person/student? Without the benefit of an in-person interview, it may feel like you never fully had a chance to connect intimately with a Carnegie Mellon admissions officer. You have a burning sense that you have not communicated the full you, your true essence, your je ne sais quoi, your…you get the idea. If you feel something important about yourself has yet to be communicated elsewhere in the application, then CMU Prompt #3 is the answer to your prayers.

Consider that the admissions reader is already familiar with your academic history, activities, and awards. What don’t they know, or, what could they understand on a deeper level? This could be a particular skill or talent, or something about your character or personality. This one is intentionally open-ended, so use this space to share your most cherished accomplishments or most winning attributes. The university itself is inviting you to “brag” here. We recommend obliging, by presenting the equivalent to a “closing argument” at the end of this admissions trial.

One example of what not to do would be to say, “I work as a camp counselor in the summer” if that was already listed in the Activities section. Another no-no is deciding that the admonition regarding linking to websites doesn’t apply to you, because, well…they simply have to see your art exhibit or performance on stage in Oklahoma! last year. We promise that it is better to take CMU at their word that they prefer that you describe it. This remains true no matter what “it” is.

How important are the Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays?

CMU rates the essays as being an “important” factor in their evaluation process. The essays are listed alongside recommendations, talent/ability, character/personal qualities, first-generation status, and race/ethnicity. The only factors ranked above the essays as being “very important” are: GPA, the rigor of high school coursework, class rank, extracurricular activities, work experience, and volunteer work.

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Carnegie Mellon University Supplemental Essays Guide: 2021-2022

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Not sure how to approach the Carnegie Mellon essay prompts? CollegeAdvisor.com’s guide to the CMU supplemental essays will show you exactly how to write engaging Carnegie Mellon essays and maximize your chances of admission. If you need help crafting your answers to the Carnegie Mellon essay prompts, create your free  account  or  schedule a no-cost advising consultation  by calling (844) 343-6272.

Carnegie Mellon  Supplemental Essays Guide Quick Facts:

Does Carnegie Mellon have supplemental essays?

Yes. In addition to the main essay prompt in the  Common App , you’ll also have to answer additional Carnegie Mellon essays. Three of the Carnegie Mellon essay prompts are required, while the final prompt is optional.

Need some help writing your Common App essay? Get great tips from our  Common App essay guide .

What are the Carnegie Mellon essays?

The Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays are available on the  Common App site . You can also visit the  Carnegie Mellon admissions page  to view the Carnegie Mellon essay prompts as well as a full list of application requirements.

How many essays are required for Carnegie Mellon?

There are three required Carnegie Mellon essays in the 2021-2022 Common App. There is also one optional prompt to explain circumstances surrounding test scores. We recommend that most students just answer the first three Carnegie Mellon essay prompts. Students should only complete the fourth Carnegie Mellon essay prompt if they have extenuating circumstances related to standardized testing.

How do you answer the Carnegie Mellon essays?

The Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays can make a huge difference in admissions. To help you maximize your admissions odds, we’ve provided each of the Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays below.

In this guide to the Carnegie Mellon essays, you’ll find a breakdown of how to approach each of the Carnegie Mellon essay prompts as well as tips for creating an application narrative that will stand out in admissions.

Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essays – Question 1 (Required):

Consider your application as a whole. What do you personally want to emphasize about your application for the admission committee’s consideration? Highlight something that’s important to you or something you haven’t had a chance to share. Tell us, don’t show us (no websites please). (300 word maximum)

You may notice that this Carnegie Mellon essay prompt feels similar to some of the Common Application Personal Statement prompts. The good news is that if you’ve already completed your Personal Statement—which you should do before writing any CMU supplemental essays—this Carnegie Mellon essay prompt should be relatively straightforward. The bad news, however, is that you’ll need to be careful to avoid repeating information from your Common App essay. You might think of this prompt as a second Common App essay—that is, it should enrich the rest of your application by providing crucial insight into your identity.

This Carnegie Mellon essay prompt is your opportunity to show a different side of yourself–something that you have yet to highlight in your other materials. Although the prompt encourages creativity, when it says, “tell us, don’t show us,” it means just that. Do not include links to external resources, even if they show something you could never say with words. If you were hoping to include links to an artistic portfolio, don’t worry! Although this CMU supplement essay might not allow it, CMU has a  separate program  for those who wish to apply with an art portfolio.

Use dynamic, descriptive language

The instruction to not “tell” the admissions team rather than “show” them extends only as far as this CMU supplement essay prompt says it does. When they say, “don’t show us,” they simply mean, “no links.” This instruction does not mean that your CMU supplement essay has to be matter-of-fact. You can still paint a compelling picture with your words!

While your chosen topic should enrich your overall candidate profile, this topic does not necessarily need to relate to the rest of your application. This is your time to cover some new ground! If you’re struggling to come up with a topic for this CMU supplement essay, go back and look at the topics you considered (yet didn’t select) for your Common Application personal statement. What topics intrigued you most, even if you didn’t end up choosing them? What elements of your identity will help you enrich the CMU community? Do you have a niche hobby or interest? A unique personal story? This is an excellent time to talk about any of those areas.

If you still can’t think of a topic, spend some time brainstorming the things that matter to you. Make lists of your interests, identities, hobbies, and other key characteristics. Your CMU supplemental essays should show the non-academic side of you, so take advantage of this opportunity! You can also draw inspiration from prompts you’ve answered for other colleges (so long as you don’t repeat information from your Common Application or other Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays).

CMU Supplemental Essays Key Questions:

Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essays – Question 2 (Required):

Many students pursue college for a specific degree, career opportunity or personal goal. Whichever it may be, learning will be critical to achieve your ultimate goal. As you think ahead to the process of learning during your college years, how will you define a successful college experience? (300 word maximum)

Out of all of the Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays, this one might be the most complex. Let’s break down this Carnegie Mellon essay prompt together!

This prompt uses the framework of learning to ask how you will define a “successful college experience.” As you approach this Carnegie Mellon essay prompt, think about how you define this prompt’s two key concepts: learning and success. Both of these topics are vast—learning can come both in and out of the classroom, and success can’t be measured by just one metric. Think about your hopes for your future and what you hope to learn in college. How will Carnegie Mellon help you achieve these goals? The strongest CMU supplemental essays will answer all parts of this prompt.

Like your other Carnegie Mellon essays, you might start this CMU supplement essay by brainstorming. Make lists for each of the following questions: Why do you want to go to college? What is your “ultimate goal”? How do you define learning? How do you define success? Finally, how can you use this CMU supplement essay to show why you belong at Carnegie Mellon?

In your other Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays, you might have addressed your educational and career goals. This CMU supplement essay, however, lets you think about these goals in a broader sense, focusing both on academic and non-academic aspirations. A good approach is to break the essay down into two sections: one where you talk about your concrete career goals and how CMU will help you achieve them, and another devoted to the less inherently academic question of your “ultimate goal.”

Let’s start by discussing your academic goals. To recap: this CMU supplement essay asks about your “ultimate” goal for your  academics  and future  career . Think about what interests you and how CMU will help you engage with these interests. For example, you might discuss CMU’s opportunities for undergraduate  research . Better yet, you could discuss how CMU’s variety of  centers and institutes  enables cross-disciplinary work. Be as concrete as possible. The best Carnegie Mellon essays will illustrate in specific terms the reason why CMU—and CMU alone—will help you achieve your academic and career aspirations.

Define “successful college experience”

Now, let’s shift to the less academic side of this prompt. Start by thinking about the following questions: why do you want to go to college? What do you hope to get out of CMU? How do you define a “successful college experience”?

Think about what you want out of your college experience and how CMU will help you attain it. Maybe you want to forge relationships with your peers through one of CMU’s many clubs and organizations, or maybe you want to meet your future writing partner in a CMU economics lecture. Use specific details to emphasize why your “successful college experience” should be at CMU.

If you’re struggling to define a “successful college experience,” try thinking about your future–a future where you’ve presumably attained your “ultimate goal.” In twenty years, what will you remember from your college days? Will it be the exhilaration you felt watching your peers  play basketball or baseball ? Or the memory of reconnecting with your Scottish roots at  Spring Carnival ? Do some research on CMU’s specific offerings, and use this essay to discuss why these offerings will enrich your life on campus.

Of all the Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays, this is the place to visualize your ideal college experience as well as the many ways you might “learn” at CMU. At CMU, you’ll have the opportunity to learn from those around you both inside and outside the classroom. The “ultimate goal” you describe in this CMU supplement essay, therefore, should extend beyond classes alone. Use the second of the Carnegie Mellon essay prompts to show how CMU will give you the tools to become the kind of professional, person, and community member you hope to be.

Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essays – Question 3 (Required):

Most students choose their intended major or area of study based on a passion or inspiration that’s developed over time – what passion or inspiration led you to choose this area of study? (300 word maximum)

You should begin this Carnegie Mellon essay prompt by choosing an intended major from Carnegie Mellon’s  offerings . Do your research—you don’t want to spend 300 words gushing over your passion for studying zoology when Carnegie Mellon doesn’t offer it as a major. However, you can discuss how your experience as a volunteer at the  Central Park Zoo  developed your interest in pursuing Biological Sciences at the  Mellon College of Science .

For this CMU supplemental essay, think about the experiences that have fostered your interest in a given major. Did a specific moment make you realize a passion for a given field? Or did a set of experiences help you develop an interest over time? What other factors have influenced your academic development?

Start with a story

To give some insight into how I would approach this Carnegie Mellon essay prompt, here’s a snippet of an essay I wrote when I was applying to colleges.

“My fascination with the stock market all began at the tender age of seven. A flurry of red and green numbers and arrows emerged on my TV screen accompanying the words S&P and Dow Jones. ”

This excerpt is only two sentences, but I used the remainder of my response to explain how I later joined a youth investment program, won a stock trading competition, and became the treasurer of two organizations. In essence, I would use this anecdote to show how I became interested in my chosen field, then use the following sentences to reveal how I nurtured this interest throughout high school. Finally, I would tie everything together with a statement like  “That day in 2008 changed my life; I still have the same set of encyclopedias, but now I am ready to embark on a future in finance beyond the pages.”

Keep in mind that this CMU supplement essay should focus on you rather than on CMU. By painting a clear picture of your academic development, you can help admissions officers envision who you’ll be on CMU’s campus. Don’t worry if you don’t directly connect your interests to CMU’s programs in the third of your CMU essays; however, if you have the space, feel free to include one or two sentences about how you would develop these interests at CMU.

Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essays – Question 4 (Optional):

When it comes to deciding whether to submit standardized test scores, occasionally applicants want us to better understand the individual context of their decision. If you’d like to take advantage of this opportunity, please share any information about your decision here. This is an optional question for those who may want to provide additional context for consideration. (150 word maximum)

In most cases, students should complete all “optional” prompts to maximize their admissions odds. But for this CMU supplement essay, you should respond only under one condition: you have extenuating circumstances surrounding your test scores.

Essentially, this prompt lets you explain any circumstances surrounding your test scores. This can be particularly useful if external factors influenced your ability to study for or take standardized tests, particularly given the COVID-19 pandemic. Whether you chose to omit your score under Carnegie Mellon’s  test-optional policy  for Fall 2022, were unable to take the exams, or scored lower than you would have due to unforeseen circumstances, this prompt lets you elaborate further. However, you should only fill it out if you have a legitimate reason.

Don’t use this Carnegie Mellon essay prompt to describe how you tend to procrastinate on TikTok or Netflix. However, if you had to work full-time to support your family during COVID-19 or lost a family member to the pandemic, you may well use this prompt to help contextualize your scores for the admissions team. Regardless, with only 150 words to work with, ensure that you convey your thoughts concisely and clearly.

Are the Carnegie Mellon Essays Important?

As with all school-specific supplements, the CMU supplemental essays are a critical component of your application. However, don’t let that scare you! Strong Carnegie Mellon essays can make a major difference in admissions, particularly if you have lower grades or test scores. A well-crafted set of Carnegie Mellon supplemental essays will help your application stand out to admissions officers.

Think of every Carnegie Mellon essay prompt as an opportunity. The CMU supplemental essays are your chance to address the admissions team on your own terms. At the end of the day, what do you want your readers to know about you? How can you use the Carnegie Mellon essay prompts to tell them why you belong at their school?

Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essays: Final Thoughts

Completing the CMU supplemental essays can seem daunting, but don’t let them discourage you from applying. At the end of the day, the Carnegie Mellon essay prompts are not intended to trip you up. Rather, view each CMU supplement essay as an opportunity to further introduce yourself to the admissions team.

Use this Carnegie Mellon essay prompts guide to help you approach each CMU supplement essay with confidence. After completing your CMU supplemental essays, make sure to revise—you might even ask a counselor, advisor, or other trusted adult to help you proofread for spelling, grammar, and clarity. Good luck!

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This 2021-2022 essay guide on Carnegie Mellon was written by  Juliana Furigay , Columbia ‘23. For more resources on the college admissions process,  click here . If you need help crafting your answers to the Carnegie Mellon essay prompts, create your  free account  or schedule a no-cost advising consultation by calling (844) 343-6272.

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How to Write the Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essays 2020-2021: A Great Guide

Carnegie Mellon University has an acceptance rate of 17% and is enamored with big, bold ideas, as well as “a whole lot of robots.”

While their website might be playful, their admissions application is no joke. You can tell from the tone of the writing supplements that the university is interested in serious and goal-oriented students.

A participant in the Common App , Carnegie Mellon University requires additional writing supplements that are tailored to their school.

Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essay: How to Write Them!

Click above to watch a video on Carnegie Mellon’s Supplemental Essays.

Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essay Requirements

Specifically, CMU requires three 300 word essays in addition to the main Common App essay. This is in the mid-range for length on a supplemental essay. For a visual, imagine writing half a page single-spaced. 

The supplemental essays are broad in their topics. They focus on the following elements, respectively:

The essay topics are fairly general, leaving a good deal of room for digging into the ideas that matter most to you. Stay creative and open-minded.

1, Many students pursue college for a specific degree, career opportunity or personal goal. Whichever it may be, learning will be critical to achieve your ultimate goal. As you think ahead to the process of learning during your college years, how will you define a successful college experience? 2. Most students choose their intended major or area of study based on a passion or inspiration that’s developed over time – what passion or inspiration led you to choose this area of study?  3. Consider your application as a whole. What do you personally want to emphasize about your application for the admission committee’s consideration? Highlight something that’s important to you or something you haven’t had a chance to share. Tell us, don’t show us (no websites please). 

General Tips for the CMU Supplemental Essays

Since you don’t have much room to work with, it’s important to get straight to the point.

It’s also critical to stick to one or two key points in each essay. No matter how tempting it is, don’t provide a laundry list of your accomplishments, since this is ineffective and reads like a resume.

Your narrative is critical. When you’re sticking to those one or two key points, keep in mind that you should be sticking to new elements and telling a story or painting a picture. Don’t discuss something that you’ve already expanded on in your Common App.

Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essay 1: The College Experience

Many students pursue college for a specific degree, career opportunity or personal goal. Whichever it may be, learning will be critical to achieve your ultimate goal. As you think ahead to the process of learning during your college years, how will you define a successful college experience?

This question is broader than it may appear at first. Though learning is critical to the college journey, and the admissions committee certainly wants to hear about that, there’s more to it. They want to know if you’re a good cultural fit for Carnegie Mellon, and what you want from your personal development as well. 

An easy way to start this essay might be imagining your graduation day and working backwards, or describing your ideal first day on campus. Think creatively. 

Make sure you keep this essay specific to the school without making it a “why Carnegie Mellon” essay. Your essay should reflect the values and spirit of the school while keeping it personal. 

Above all, avoid making this an essay about why college is educational or fun without bringing in any level of detail. This is not an essay about why you want to go to college. 

Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essay 2: Why This Major?

Most students choose their intended major or area of study based on a passion or inspiration that’s developed over time – what passion or inspiration led you to choose this area of study?

We strongly recommend you begin this essay by explaining your personal connection to your intended major.

It’s perfectly fine to not know your major. If you’re having trouble picking something, choose a niche major that relates to your interests. Don’t spend too much time on this. Choose something Carnegie Mellon offers and move on to writing the essay.

The safest way to write this essay is to pick an experience from your life – perhaps an extracurricular activity, outside-the-classroom project, or internship experience – and connect it to your major.

It’s important to write about what you did during this experience. Again, mention the action steps. Show that you pursued this interest with fervent desire and passion.

Instead, brainstorm the following questions :

Your discussion of “why” might naturally lead into outlining your academic and career goals.

Since you don’t have much room, there’s a strong chance you’ll finish your essay right after you connect your action steps to the desired major.

Here’s a preferred breakdown of this essay, in no particular order:

Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essay 3: Something Special About You

Consider your application as a whole. What do you personally want to emphasize about your application for the admission committee’s consideration? Highlight something that’s important to you or something you haven’t had a chance to share. Tell us, don’t show us (no websites please). 

You have the utmost flexibility when writing this essay. Just remember, what you write about should not be directly mentioned anywhere else in your application for Carnegie Mellon University.

This essay should introduce something new that is neither explained nor is a topic in your Common App or other CMU essays.

This essay is your chance to throw the admissions officer a curveball, so to speak.

Ultimately, you want your essay to tell a story. You can discuss…

For example, you might have taken an engineering fundamentals class in high school, as well as a programming course. This might have sparked your interest in participating in FIRST robotics at school, getting you involved in the hands-on aspect of design principles and software integration. This naturally led to you performing research on pursuing robotics at different universities.

Then, Carnegie Mellon’s robotics research into soft robotics could have piqued your interest. After all, Baymax was inspired by the research out of the soft robotics lab at Carnegie Mellon. Your motivation might be to eventually contribute to the advancements in the field or work on effectively translating the research into the industry to disseminate advancements throughout the rest of the world.

Finally, you can also use this essay to explain a gap in your study history or circumstances that interrupted your education:

It could also be the case that your education was interrupted for reasons such as failing classes or dropping out and re-enrolling in high school. If that’s the case, you might be groaning on the inside.

Clearly, you are in a better place and ready to continue your education.

Answering this question honestly might just say more about you as a student than your transcript does.

Conclusion: The Carnegie Mellon Supplemental Essays

As with any writing supplement, review your responses for mistakes . Print out your essays and read them aloud.

Ask a friend or family member to check for clarity. You might know what point you are trying to get across, but someone without 24/7 access to your brain might ask you a question that you hadn’t thought to address.

Finally, read your writing for passion.

Universities care deeply about their schools. They want to ensure they are great places to learn and grow. Reflect that image back to them by using the advice we provide.

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